Isn't it interesting that we put such high expectations on ourselves to be perfect when that wasn't even part of the plan for us to be perfect. Why is it that we think if we can't be perfect than we should even try? When in reality we are probably doing better than we think we are. I remember someone told me that a few months back. Yes.. I do a lot in my life to be in recovery and Yes.. I had to acknowledge that I am doing better than I think I am .
So as I was doing my writing last week, I started making a list of all the things I put in my life to help me feel more peace around where I am. What I discovered was that with God's help, I have been blessed to be able to put a lot of helpful tools into my life on a daily basis to continue to have peace. Again, I didn't get to this point overnight. It was a process.. one step at a time.. adding one thing at a time so that when I get in a bind and find that my negative thinking is returning, that I have resources or tools I can fall back on to help me get out of it all .
I have to be honest, today I was craving food a bit. This doesn't happen much to me anymore and what I get to look at is what feelings came up for me that I would want to even get back into the food. So as I allowed those feelings to come to me of fear, I didn't react. I drank some awesome water with lime and eventually the urge left me. See.. there used to be a day where I didn't even acknowledge those feelings and would immediately go to medicate and numb myself with sugar and flour. That's truly what I was doing was numbing myself from FEELING. I was EATING my emotions. When I stopped going to the food for comfort, I took the first step to recovery. Eventually they go away. I will write more about these core emotions and a practice I use to dealing with them another day. It has been absolutely VITAL in my own recovery to just BE in the moment and know that I am ok.
As I remind myself of what I do .. and how far I have come, I feel the peace and comfort come over me. The truth of the matter is I am doing better than I think I am and as I stay in a place of gratitude for my progress not perfection, I am more patient with myself and others.
ACT NOW: Make a list of things in your life you are doing well. As you choose to focus on what you are doing well, it helps us stay grounded and in a place of gratitude. Again.. what we focus on expands and as long as you continue to focus on what you are not doing, you will get more of the frustration of what you are NOT doing. This takes practice so be patient with yourself. So.. get WRITING and keep going until you flush out ALL of the good things that bring you peace.