My Savior... My Friend!

This year has been one of great reflection and learning for me. I have always been a religious person but to be honest with you, I have NEVER in my life gone to the depth of spirituality that I have in this last year. As many of you may know I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and have been my whole life. I even was a full time missionary in 1995-1996 where I served in the Pocatello Mission. I have attended church weekly, even graduated from seminary. Even through all those years of being religious thinking it was complicated, I have come to realize just how incredibly SIMPLE God's love is for me.

I think I had this idea in my head that if I was perfect enough by checking off my "TO DO" list that I would be worthy of His love and acceptance. So I served my mission to the best of my ability and the very last day, when I found out my father had died in a car accident and I was being sent home the following day, I remember questioning if I had really done my best. Little did I know, I was an incredible missionary. Someone who served diligently with her heart and influenced many lives. At the time though if you asked me, I would tell you all the things I did wrong that made it not so. I couldn't accept that my imperfections were enough. I remember very clearly, the day I got released as a missionary and the man who released me said... "You were a great missionary." He didn't know I was questioning if I had done enough, he didn't even know me personally and let alone understand what it felt like to have just lost my father to a tragic accident. Again, I didn't accept that truth of me being enough just the way I was.

So this was a common theme throughout my life... am I enough? ... will I ever be enough? Is there more that I can "DO" to be acceptable in God's eyes? I have discovered for the first time in my life.... NO. I am already enough. I am already worthy of His love and acceptance just the way I am. There are things I choose to do on a daily basis that draw me closer to Him.. and further away from Him. God's Love, Mercy and Grace are exquisite. I now understand and continue to understand just how AMAZING this love is He has for me and for each one of you.

As for the Savior, since I have experienced a total transformation from the inside out, I have come to discover the incredible power of the atonement. I used to think the atonement was for people who had done horrible things, now I understand that the atonement is a GIFT for me to utilize each day to bring me closer to my Heavenly Father.

I was in church the other day and made a comment about how I have been reading a lot in the scriptures about Repentance. The scriptures counsel us OVER and OVER again.. "If they would only repent and keep the commandments.. then they shall have ALL that God has and more." So I have been on this journey to understand and ask what it is that I need to repent of so I may become more like the Savior and closer to God. Another comment from someone in the room was we needed to stop beating ourselves up. Although I agree 100% with that, I don't see repentance as a way to beat myself up, I see it as an incredible blessing and opportunity to draw closer to my Savior and to learn to accept His Sacrifice and service He rendered for ME.

My Savior.. My friend! I have learned and developed this amazing trust with my Savior. Our relationship is like any other relationship, I had to learn first who my Savior was then through many experiences, I learned to trust. As I trusted more my respect and love grew. My understanding of how he communicates with me expanded. This picture below is the picture I have up in my bedroom and I look at it each morning when I wake up. I spend time meditating to it. I see it as the Savior with His arms stretched forth towards me encouraging me to come to Him. It also reminds me that I need to be open to receiving. I struggle with that at times. As with many of you, we are so good at giving .. giving.. and giving more to others but when it comes to having to receive, it's hard. I have been on the receiving side many times this year and I am grateful for those in my life that have carried me and lifted my own soul as I have struggled. Isn't that what this life is all about anyway. The Savior has lifted me... I lift others.. others lift me. It's all one eternal circle of service.

So during this time of the year, I can't help but give thanks to the very one who gave me life, God. He also provided me with the most incredible gift my brother, my Savior, my friend who is teaching me by His example who I must become. I am grateful for this journey I have been on and for the knowledge I have now.

I KNOW that my Savior died for me and most importantly, lives today so that I may be forgiven for those choices I make that draw me further away from God. I know that God lives and knows me intimately.. my heart .. my soul.. my desires. He loves me and guides me each and every single day. I know when I am inspired to make a call, connect with a certain person or to serve that all that comes from Him. I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ is REAL. I know that because I have experienced the mighty change of heart in my own life and continue to feel it's power as I learn to turn my life over to Him. I know there is a living Prophet Thomas S. Monson that stands as the mouth piece for the Lord. I am grateful for His guidance and counsel He gives me. I know that the scriptures were written for OUR day and to help me understand how God works and His love for me. I live in such an incredible time where I have been given soo much.

I pray that each one of you finds peace in your heart.. and healing. I will say, even though my life is not perfect and there are days I still struggle, I feel because I have learned better to rely on the Lord it makes those challenging times easier. I pray for the same to be for you as well. God bless and always remember that you are important, you have a purpose here on earth and that you are LOVED.

Year End Review of 2011 - List of things I have learned......

This year has been one of the most growing years of my life for many more reasons than some may think. I haven't written in awhile and partly that is because I have been so busy in helping people with Sponsor Me Slim and been involved in my own personal relationships. I felt as though I have grown SOOO much by all the amazing experiences I have had that I can't help but be in such gratitude. Even the really tough times, I knew things would work out just the way they were suppose to. 

Here are a few things I have learned from this past year. 

... I have learned I don't need a lot to survive

... I have learned that I create my peace and balance wherever I am 

... I have learned that it's important to have good friends and acknowledge the good in them often

... I have learned to lean solely on God for my strength and trust in His almighty wisdom

... I have learned how to better listen to the counsel of the Lord

... I have learned how important it is to put the Lord First before anything else

... I have learned that even though I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel... to keep walking with Faith. 

... I have learned that I come from one of the most amazing families.. I am blessed to have them in my life.

... I have learned to appreciate the small and simple things in life

... I have learned that my story doesn't define me

... I have learned to serve others with No attachments. 

... I have learned to love unconditionally not being attached to the result of the relationship

... I have learned that I am beautiful and have great value

... I have learned to BE PRESENT in the moment

... I have learned to let go and TRUST God with all my Heart 

... I have learned just how incredibly Tenacious I am

... I have learned that I am experiencing life exactly as I am suppose to do.. Challenges and all

... I have learned in order to inspire I had to create value in other's lives

... I have learned that being healthy is RARE. 

... I have learned to see the GREAT in all people and acknowledge it to them

... I have learned how sensitive Men are

... I have learned what's most important to me

... I have learned how to follow my heart and speak my truth

... I have learned to appreciate and embrace the teachings in the scriptures

... I have learned to ACT NOW when opportunities present itself

... I have learned how fragile life is and to tell people I love them because I never know when they will be gone

... I have learned how incredibly blessed I am

... I have learned to appreciate every aspect of myself

... I have learned to be confident

... I have learned I create massive value in all my relationships

... I have learned to love more deeply

... I have learned to heal and utilize the atonement more

... I have learned to have NO JUDGEMENT towards others who think differently than I

... I have learned to be grateful when I am in the Flow and to take advantage of that time

... I have learned to accept what is

... I have learned how to forgive.... wow this one was a big one. Starting with me.. then forgiving others

... I have learned to trust more

... I have learned to take more time in making big decisions

... I have learned to not rush into things

... I have learned that things are just things

... I have learned to look for miracles on a daily basis

... I have learned to ask for help

... I have learned to receive love and affection

... I have learned to be honored for who I am and my beauty and intelligence I have to bring to the world

... I have learned to be open to others opinions

... I have learned to create safe spaces for others to share

... I have learned to better communicate

... I have learned that God knows me intimately and wants me to feel JOY & PEACE

... I have learned how important the temple is to my spiritual growth

... I have learned how important it is to be teachable 

... I have learned how to help others heal and the gift I have been given to do so

... I have learned that I am very intuitive

These are just a few things I have learned over this past year. Although it has flown by and we are just about to go into a brand new year, I have to say, I am humbled by the many blessings I have in my life at this time. Some may say, "I don't know how you did it!" I say to that.. I don't either.. but with the Help of my Savior Jesus Christ and my belief in God as my partner, I made it. I know for a fact that God has held me in His hand many many many times.. and even carried me on His back when I wanted to give up. He sent people into my life to help me through challenging times and lifted my spirits when they were down but through it all, my testimony grew, my knowledge in His existence is STRONG. 

It's interesting to me how similar the journey has been of releasing the 130 lbs.. is to building a career. It's the same exact process.. putting the same exact habits in place. It's all about staying focused on the goal.. focused on staying present.. one day at time.. and not allowing myself to get discouraged. 

God never said it would be easy but that it would be worth it and that is soo true. As I kneel in prayer each day and plead with the Lord to be my partner for the day, I am overcome with the spirit as I watch how he leads me to different places and to connect with different people. As an example, today I knelt beside my bed asking the Lord to be with me and to show me miracles and boy did he provide. It was one after another as I kept a log of them in my notebook. Every time I recognized another miracle I would let that person know that they were part of me experiencing a miracle. who says.. miracles don't happen anymore? I experienced about 7 of them today and I know EXACTLY where they came from. I have said this many times, but God desires to be acknowledged too. 

I hope that at the end of this year, you take time to make your own list of things that you have learned. Also take the time to give yourself a pat on the back for all the wonderful things you are accomplished. I will be starting up my blog here a lot more now and in the new year. Feel free to share it with whomever you would like. 

God Bless.. and remember how incredibly valuable you are to this world. 

"Sponsor Me Slim" Helping people Lose weight... saving lives!

It's been awhile since I blogged.. my life has just taken off. A lot of different thoughts I have had lately as I have begun this journey with a program called "Sponsor Me Slim." I had been looking for the last year for some way that I could help the most amount of people when it came to their weight. As many of you know I have released 130 lbs and in the process of doing that, my entire life has changed. I don't think there is much of my old life yet. Although I feel AMAZING, I have often felt in my heart this longing to help others reach this level of success and after trying several different avenues, I feel I finally found the right vehicle in order to see REAL success.

See, it's not a matter of just going on some diet to lose weight, it's about having success in releasing the weight and then literally changing the thoughts and behaviors so you NEVER go back. I have been maintaining my weight loss for over a year. In order to have lasting success you have to make changes but my message to the world is it doesn't have to be HARD to make the changes .. it really just comes down to making a decision.

Over the last couple of months, I have had the privilege to interview a lot of different people and to hear their own life stories of their struggles with weight. My heart goes out to them because I understand EXACTLY the frustrations they are facing and at the same time I know I have a solution if they want to take hold of it and do it. See weight loss and transformation doesn't happen overnight... it takes putting one foot in front of the other taking it one day at a time. We can allow any number of excuses to creep into our thoughts convincing us that it's too hard, I can't do it, I will never be successful. The truth of the matter is, what you think about .. comes about. I say .."IF YOU SAY SO!" It is soo true.

There are several ways to lose weight, all I know is if you don't give your body the nutrients it needs, you will always be craving and then end up in the unhealthy food which will then trigger eating more unhealthy food. It's a crazy cycle. No wonder a lot of people fail. For me, I had to get RID of the unhealthy food and give my body what it desperately wanted and needed, then it started to function the way it was suppose to be and I was satisfied. That's the idea behind "Sponsor Me Slim." We give you the nutrients that you need so you don't have the cravings, your body is satisfied so you can get on with your life and stop thinking about food all the time.

In a nutshell, "Sponsor Me Slim" is a program that helps people lose weight quickly and very healthy and while doing so we raise money to help feed children that would otherwise die of starvation. It's a WIN WIN. It's balancing out the scales of injustice.

I can't tell you the joy it brings to me to see just about every night, testimony after testimony of these amazing people and how their lives are changing. This is about transformation and truly it's a blessing to be apart of their journey. I can literally SEE the changes not only physically but most importantly the changes in their countenance. I love what I do. I love knowing that we are literally saving lives on both sides of the scales.

If you are interested in getting more information on Sponsor Me Slim, visit my website at www.CreatingHealthyLiving.com and click on the "Sponsor Me Slim" tab. There are videos for you to watch, testimonies and then you can fill out the form and I will personally call you to set up an interview to see if it's the right fit for you.

Mark my words that this program will literally change this country's problem with obesity as well as save millions of children's lives as well. I am proud to be apart of such a huge movement.

MIRACLES.. in the works

The last couple of days I have spent hours on the phone interviewing people who have struggled with weight their entire life. Can I just say .. my heart breaks for them as well as I remember so clearly like it was yesterday how it felt to live a life in such bondage. I have to say, I am humbled greatly by the opportunity of being a support for this first initial group of NEXT SUCCESS stories. It's just amazing to me as I read more and more statistics of the millions of people suffering. I find myself often the last couple f days, having to take a deep breathe and realize that I am just ONE person and that in order for me to help I need stay very close to God because he is the ultimate miracle worker... I am just a mere instrument.

I tell people when I start working with them that this is their journey to take .. not mine, meaning I am not going to do the work for them but I will support them in anyway I can. Often times I think we want to take other's problems onto ourselves but what that ends up doing is then weighing us down and keeps us from truly taking care of ourselves.

**

The beautiful thing about Miracles is that they are all around us everyday if we choose to open our eyes to them. We tend to think that Miracles have to be huge. There are soo  many little tender mercies I experience all the time. As it pertains to weight loss, I tend to believe that any success is a miracle. I can't wait to start hearing the stories of the people as they begin to discover who they truly are and wake up to their absolute brilliance in them. It's like unwrapping a PRICELESS GIFT. When I speak to groups I tell them that I had no idea that this pretty girl was in me. It's true. All the weight was hiding who I truly was. I believe there is beauty in ALL people. I am excited to see the transformations and what a gift it is for me to be apart of that.

I also have to mention what I am learning as I begin this new journey. Just as I had to have the support around me to be successful at my weight loss, I am learning it's just as important for me to have the support around me to succeed in other areas of my life. I have found an AMAZING group of people who are helping me be the best I can be so that I can help more people. It's so important. I am so grateful for the man in my life who encourages me, who supports me and who helps me remember who I am when my doubts and fears come up. I can't stress enough what a gift it is to know that these angels in my life will hold me up as I reach down to help others up.

"FAST FOOD KILLS"

Ever thought about how fast food is contributing to so many issues in our society? I am NO expert at all the stats out there but as I sit here in a very well known fast food chain, I can't help but think about how much we rely on this over processed and under nourished food that we consume soo much of on a daily basis. I am sure you have seen from time to time someone on TV pile up the amount of unhealthy food we eat in a year in efforts to make a point to how much we really are consuming and how it affects us. I think back when I used to come to this particular fast food restaurant twice a day.. Lunch and Dinner and how I used to eat 2 full meals of at least 60 grams of fat each. When I used to go to 2 or 3 drive thrus in a 15 minute span to get my fill of fries. I was killing myself. I have eaten out in a restaurant only 3 times in 2 1/2 years. I am not saying that that is right for everyone but it works for me it's just not worth the money and it's hard to find places that are willing to give me the amount of vegetables I am looking for.

Sitting here and watching children who are overweight at such a young age, it just fuels my desire to make a difference in this world, even more. It's up to us individually to start taking responsibility for our health and if we are parents, for our kids. Yes, fast food restaurants can be really convenient but in the long run, visiting these type of places, sets us up for horrible habits that eventually lead to all kinds of diseases and ultimately death.

I have been meeting with people who see what I see and have a great desire to reach out and help others. We can't expect to hand off our personal well being off to anyone any longer. If we don't start taking our health seriously, we will continue to suffer from the 43,000 diseases out there that would otherwise be preventable. Yes. that's right.. most diseases that people are dying from these days are PREVENTABLE. Some of you reading this may say.. "Well, I have bad genes and I got cancer because my mother had cancer." Of course there are diseases that are passed down from generation to generation but let me tell you just from my own life story is all the health problems I went into the doctor for a couple of years ago are GONE now that I have gotten healthy. My hormones used to be all over the place, I was tired all the time, my back hurt, I had irritable bowel syndrome, Poly cystic ovarian syndrome, blood in my stool, skin irritations, Candida, stinky and sweaty feet and many other little things that were bothering me. I remember just 3 years ago going into the doctor and giving him a list of 8-10 items of things I wanted him to advise me on. Now, I don't even know what I would ask him about. It just goes to show that when I started taking an active role in my own personal health and wellness, how quickly the body repaired itself. Think about it 36 years of damaging it, not caring, throwing garbage down my throat and then within as little as a few months of healthy eating, I could totally shift that. It's a miracle. Our bodies are miracles. They know how to heal from extreme abuse. Sadly to say but that is what I have done to myself for so many years is abuse the hell out of this body which carries me through life.

So... choose your death... or choose your life. What you choose to put in your mouth on a daily basis and how you treat your body will determine which road you are headed down. For me once I started to make better choices and take care of myself is when I think I really understood what it meant to BE ALIVE. It's a beautiful thing.

"ACT NOW.. and Follow Your Heart!"

Ever find yourself thinking too much when it comes to opportunities to only find out that you missed out on something that could have been huge for you in your life? Well, this is what I have been thinking a lot about lately. As many of you know, I meet and connect with sooo many people on a daily basis. So many, that people have a hard time keeping track. If you have met me in person, I tend to ask people to take a picture with them only because I have learned that if I don't, it's harder for me to remember them. The reason I bring this up is not because I expect that you take pictures with everyone you meet like me, but I want you to think how important it is to connect with others. 

Today as I was driving to my back to back appointments, I got thinking. I tend to be the type of person that when someone gives me a name of someone they think I need to connect with, I don't question it.. or take time to really think about it.. I ACT. Meaning, I get on the phone and call them right away. I can't say I am perfect at this all the time because life keeps me busy but most of the time I act pretty quickly on things. As I did that yesterday with a name, it took a couple of times of playing phone tag to finally get connected with this one man. We talked briefly and then quickly set up a time to meet first thing this morning to see if there is any chance of us working together on our different projects. As we met today, I couldn't help but tear up as we both felt there were no accidents. I explained to this man how I feel strongly about the fact that I literally work for God and as I start my day off by asking God where I need to be and who I am to be in contact with, I feel him direct me. I need to say here that I NEVER know what I am going to experience when I meet with certain people. I always just keep myself open to all possibilities and literally watch things unfold before my eyes. Today was one of those times, when I knew for sure that I was in the right place at the right time, talking to the right person. I felt as though he was an old friend whom I hadn't seen for awhile. What he has been working on is exactly what I have been working on. He had been praying for me and I had been praying for him.  When I left there, I thanked God for the connection.

The point of this experience I share with you is that you never never never know what God has in store for you. If you keep yourself so busy in life that you don't hear the direction from God, how is he able to direct you to certain people or experiences? So this got me thinking. Thinking back on the 2 most pivotal experiences I have had in the last 3 years. One was a time when a girlfriend of mine told me I needed to go to California and go through some training with her back in June of 2008. When I asked her what it was all about she just told me to trust her and go soo.. I did. I went and that started me down a road of waking up to some serious realities in my life. The second was when a friend of mine in February 2009 asked me to jump in her car and drive 6 hours to Vegas to go to a 12 Step recovery conference for Food Addiction. I didn't even know what 12 step was nor anything about food addiction. Again. .. I jumped in the car and just went.

Both of these experiences have had a HUGE impact on my life. If it were not for those 2 pivotal events, I don't think I would be where I am today.. even writing this blog. This gets me to my point of how important it is to follow our hearts. First we need to learn to trust our hearts....live a life clear of the mental clutter enough to hear the still small voice of God so we can be directed and then be willing to take action. Today, I am so grateful for blessing of following my heart and for the soo many experiences I have had witnessing to me that I am truly being guided to meet the right people. Stay open, listen to your heart.. trust your heart and then ACT NOW!

"Men NEED women to LOVE THEMSELVES!"

Think it doesn't matter how you feel about yourself women.. THINK AGAIN! I proposed the question on Facebook the other day asking men how important it is that women in their lives love themselves. I got immediate reaction.. in private of course through Private messages as well as chats. This is a HUGE deal for Men. I can't tell you how many men have come to me and told me how much this has affected them and many times was a huge factor in their divorce.

What is it about us women that doesn't accept and love ourselves? I have to admit that I struggled a lot with this very problem while I was married too. My former husband would tell me I was beautiful and I would just throw his comments to the curb. I also remember my old boss giving me praise for all the hard work I was doing and every single time I would down play it or minimize the comments. I can't say I thought much of myself back then. Although if I didn't get the praise, I also became resentful. I would often ask repetitively to my former husband why he didn't show more affection towards me or tell me he loved me more. It was almost like I had a hole in my soul that never could get filled. I remember him telling me that even if he did compliment me, it never was enough. Ever feel like you are always asking .. and asking.. and never getting enough to feel fulfilled? As many of you know, I have come a long way. Being in the relationship I am now, I am soo grateful to know that I don't NEED his affection, his praise or acceptance, although it's nice. It's a totally different way of living. I am here to tell you that you CAN recover from this hole in your soul. You CAN get to the point where you KNOW deep inside of you your value whether anyone else ever tells you so. I found it by going straight to GOD. He is ultimately the only one who can truly validate me.

It is really hard on men to watch their women whom they love very much.. not love themselves. They keep asking me how they can get their ex wives involved with me or their wives without hurting their feelings. I don't have an answer to that other than, someone has to want to want help and be ready to begin the journey of loving themselves in order to make the necessary shifts.

I am developing content on a program called "Falling in Love with yourself, one body part at a time." I woke up the other day quite early with my mind racing with content around this subject. I couldn't fall back to sleep so I got writing. I couldn't help but think what a difference our lives would be like if we really truly learned to fall in love with ourselves. I am not talking about in a selfish way.. I am talking in a very authentic appreciative way. If you feel you are ready to make that journey, let me know. I will be introducing some online communities here soon and some other programs to help you along the way.

"There is something brewing in the UNIVERSE for sure!"

As I walked away for the last time from a job that I held for 6 1/2 years last year, I couldn't help to feel a bit of trepidation wondering if I had lost my mind. I had been a property manager over a large apartment complex working with college age kids and had very much enjoyed many aspects and at the same time I have to admit it was one of the most challenging jobs I had ever experienced at the same time. I grew a ton, personal and professionally and was grateful for every moment of it.

At the time, I had just recently got a divorce, hit my goal weight and of course felt the distinct message that it was finally time for me to walk away from my very stable income to jump into a world of uncertainty. Although I felt a great amount of encouragement and faith, there was this feeling that everything was going to be ok. I guess you have to have known me to know what a HUGE risk and leap of faith this was for me.  So I began my walk down life where I started to connect with all these like minded people. I would attend conference after conference meeting more and more people who felt like they had been called to some higher purpose in life to help others. You mean I wasn't the only one? It astounded me as day in and day out I kept meeting more and more people who felt exactly as I did. I started seeing a pattern of how God speaks to me as well to many others whom I was meeting. It's not a quiet little voice of some sorts.. it's more like a HUGE SHOVE. Yeah.. that's right, a force to be recon with. As I started to contemplate my departure from my former marriage, life and job, it almost felt like I literally had NO CHOICE to stay where I was. It almost felt like I was bursting at my pant seems to get out of what I was doing at the time and step into a whole new pair of pants. Pants I had never thought I could or would fit into. These are the BIG GIRL PANTS.

As scary as that has seemed at times, I also am in such gratitude for the support not only God has given me but the people he has put into my life to help me along the way. It was almost like He called me to this work of helping and inspiring others... and then threw all these tools, inspiration, people... trainings in my way to show me the way. I can't say it's always been easy but God has provided me exactly what I have needed at the exact time I needed it.

So, the point is, I am NOT alone. I am not the only one who has walked away from a stable job to pursue this dream of inspiring others. I am not the only one out there that feels this force shoving me into the healing world. I am not the only one who has this message to share that WE MATTER. I am not the only one who has been given gifts to help guide people into stepping into the light and waking up.

It's awesome to see the gathering happen. There is a literal gathering that is happening on this planet. If you don't see it, start looking for it. It's a matter of time that we start healing this world, one soul at time.... one family at a time.. one community at a time. Be open to what God has to teach you because you never know when it will be your time when he calls you to this work of reaching out and lifting someone else.

"Knowledge is NOT power. Knowledge put into ACTION is Power on SPEED!"

We all love to say "I KNOW!" But do we really? Know what? If you aren't living it, how can you possibly think you know it let alone believe it. I think back of how many times in my life that I have gotten to a point where I think I know something only to look at my results to see that I am missing something. For instance, someone might say to me.. "Becky, it's really vital that you get your 8 hours of sleep a night to be healthy." This is something I have struggled with for quite some time. My common answer to them is. "I know.. I know!" If I really knew, I would be doing it. How many times do we all do that? We all know it would be better for us to eat healthy, take better care of ourselves and put ourselves first but how many of us actually do it and what stops us from doing those things that we know better? Well, that is a loaded question.

For me it all came down to falling in love with myself and learning how important I am to me. Most people who have struggled with weight issues or been on diets their entire life.. up and down and up and down are EXPERTS at what we should or shouldn't be eating. I remember once being in the gym after many years of working with all kinds of different personal trainers telling a friend of mine that I would be an amazing personal trainer but who in the heck would listen to me. I was well over 100 lbs overweight. I could also tell you all the different diets out there.. what you should be eating, how much as well as what NOT to do .. so why wasn't I doing it? Back then, I remember wondering the same thing. What was stopping me? Why was this losing weight so dang hard and why does it sound so easy but so dang hard?

I get the question all the time.. "What was the defining moment when you decided enough was enough?" It wasn't just one moment. It was a series of events that brought me to the point where I was ready. It took one small decision or step in the right direction and then just staying the course one day at a time til I got to where I am today.

Knowledge is just knowledge until you put it into ACTION. That is why I say ... A.C.T. = Action Creates Transformation. It was once said by someone "God can't drive a parked car!" It's true. You have to choose to get in the car turn it on.... and TAKE YOUR DARN FOOT OFF THE BRAKE in order to get moving. The problem is so many of us allow all our fears and doubts as well as past failures to keep us from moving forward. I love to think of that as us sitting in the car with your foot on that brake and your hand with the emergency brake pulled back as far as it can go. It's so silly what we do. I know when I took a HUGE step back and looked at what I was doing to myself.. no wonder I was stuck. No wonder I couldn't move forward and create different results. If you find yourself in the same place than take a look at those areas in your life where you have your foot on the brake and TRUST God to show you the HOW of letting go. Once you move that car, even a little tiny bit, God now can help. Get into action.. decide right this very moment to get into action and to trust. Believe me it's soo much easier than you think. Believe in yourself... I believe in you. Let me know how it goes.

"Your RESULTS in life are a direct reflection of your Beliefs!" What beliefs are holding you back?

Ever wondered how much your self talk (inner dialogue) really affects your outside world and your results? Well, studies have shown what you believe has a DIRECT affect on your results. I will show you. This is not new and many people teach in all kinds of different ways but this is what resonates for me.

So say your RESULT that you are not happy with is being overweight.

RESULT = Being overweight   

ACTIONS = Over eat, don't eat, Eat unhealthy Foods, don't exercise, Isolates 

FEELINGS = Discouraged, lonely, stressed, hopelessness, self pity, fear

BELIEFS = "I am not good enough"  or "I'll never succeed" or "Losing Weight is HARD"

Can you see how when you have an underlining belief of "Losing weight is HARD" that you are creating the very result of making losing weight difficult by your belief? People that have positive results, think differently .. act differently have different feelings and most importantly have completely different beliefs.

Now, for me when I changed my core belief around weight loss it TOTALLY changed my results. So let me take you through the same exact equation using a healthy positive belief.

 RESULTS = Healthy Body, Mind and Soul

ACTIONS= Exercise, Eat Healthy foods, Meditate, Mindful of themselves and their bodies, Productive, Organized, Peaceful

FEELINGS = Joy, Fulfilled, Peace, Inspired, Contentment, Passion, 

BELIEF = "I am of Great Value" or "I Matter"or "I am Enough" or "I am POWERFUL"

So to answer the question, 'Do our beliefs dictate our results in our lives?'... ABSOLUTELY! If you don't believe it, take any result in your life and plug it in this equation and check it out.  Work this formula for things you are experiencing in your life and you will find that these faulty core beliefs are at the very root of the problem and when you choose to change those beliefs, you change your results. I have seen this happen several times over in my own life. Again this is no destination, it's just a matter of getting to the very core.. choosing to shift the belief and then watch how your results shift. There is no right or wrong with this. We all have beliefs that are causing us to get undesirable results. We pick them up along the way in life. It's just a matter of being willing to do the work and then watching the miracles to happen and you begin to experience great RESULTS. 

"Attitude is EVERYTHING"

So tonight as I was leaving a Doterra Oil event, I was explaining to a friend of mine a few real challenges I am experiencing right now and she turned to me and said, "And you have a smile on your face." I got thinking. You know just as I wrote last time on the fact that I create my own life, it goes for my attitude as well.

I could be home crying and cursing God for some of the greatest challenges I have ever experienced but instead I show my gratitude for each moment in the way I choose to live my life. It's really your choice. I guess the one thing that keeps me going each day is that I know that everything in life has a purpose and how I choose to live it will determine whether or not I am living in Hell or Heaven.

I can't tell you just how incredibly grateful I am for the peace I have felt the last week. I live for that peace... even when everything seems to be crashing all around me. I am in the process of writing a blog about the struggles I have had with anxiety and how I have used essential oils in working through them. I am a huge believer in using more natural ways .. some may say alternative ways to helping me through life's challenges.

‎"Hold on, be patient for just a tiny bit longer. It's almost here.  Take a deep

breath and believe!" - Dawni  Christensen

So my challenge to you tonight.. as I sit here swinging on my porch, listening to beautiful music and hearing the beautiful sound of crickets is to check your attitude and if you find that it may be time for an adjustment just decide to adjust. It comes down to a conscious decision. Decide RIGHT NOW to choose peace over war and you will find the necessary balance you are looking for. God desires for you to feel peace. It's His heavenly way of giving you a huge HUG & KISS. Well.. at least that is how I see it. You are SOOO worth the God Kiss so SHIFT and create a whole new attitude if you need to.

"I Create my Life.. My Life Doesn't Create Me!"

How many times in life do we think we are just victims of our circumstances? I have learned through the school of hard knocks that this is NOT true. I truly am the creator of my own life. I know I have written on this but it's true. When I have taken the time to plan my food, my day, my activities out, I get soo much more out of life. The days that I allow take over me... I always seem to ask myself the question .."Where did the day go?" So for me something that has worked extremely good is that if I know I am going to be gone all day away from my home, that I prepare and pack all my food and carry it with me. This way I spend about 15-20 minutes preparing it and then I am done for the day... I don't have to ever think about it again. Back in the good old days I would spend almost my entire day thinking what I was going to eat, how much and where .. oh and don't forget all the shame rockin around in my head about what others would think of me as I ate certain foods. Now I prepare.. carry it with me.. and then just EAT IT. Oh.. and by the way, I LOVE my food. For those of you out there that know me personally and get the chance to be around me when I eat my food.. I am always doing the "YUMMY" sound while eating. I never thought healthy food tasted so good til I started eating it on a regular basis. Healthy food doesn't have to be boring. I couldn't eat like this if it didn't taste good.

So I was a guest on a radio show today where we talked about this very point in how important it is to live life on purpose and prepare. I can't stress enough what a difference this has made for me in my own life. We have been conditioned to think living a healthy life or eating well is HARD. STOP IT.. .. I am here to tell you otherwise. It's as easy or as hard as you want to make it. I remember for years me having that belief that losing weight was hard. Yes it takes work and I am not going to lie about that.. but it's NOT HARD. It takes living life one day at a time and making one small healthy decision at a time then another .. then another... and eventually you make it to the place you want to be.

I am not one that tells you that there is some grandiose destination... but I will tell you that as you do make those steps in the right direction, there is a TON of peace and balance that is waiting for you. Choose to create your life... and don't fall prey to the idea that you have to deal with what life gives you. STAND UP and take charge. Just as anything in life needs a director, be the director and create the life you want one moment at a time.

"Life...PEACE be unto You!"

The ebb and flows of life are quite interesting to watch. I look back on my own life and what has happened in the last year in a half and I am just amazed at where I have come from, where I am now and where I am headed. Do you ever ask the question, "What's NEXT?" I ask that all the time. Even though I am not big on trying to predict the future I do feel very strongly that there are things on this earth I am to learn and then share with billions of people.

I was writing an email to a friend of mine today expressing to her this feeling that I have had for quite sometime but I KNOW I wasn't just placed on this planet at this time to just exist. I KNOW I have certain things I am here to do. Certain people's lives to touch and inspire and with that being said, I know it's not about me. As more and more people are awakening to this universal calling, we are gaining strength in numbers to do God's work. People need healing. What I have gotten lately is that I have had to literally walk through my own hell first in order to really KNOW first hand how to help and lift others. The greatest teachers are those who teach from experience... and as tough as life has been at times, I also just keep telling myself that it's all part of my story. Every moment, thought and experience holds with it an energy which I draw on frequently to connect with others. Keeping that kind of perspective has kept me with my chin up and my body in motion. Yes, there are times when I want to give up, but then I step back and remember the eternal perspective of things and know that as I draw on the strength of the Lord, I am on His errand and with Him, nothing is impossible.

We all have a purpose and a mission to accomplish here. It's our choice to wake up to it.. search it out.. and ask the right questions to find direction. This process for me has taken me to my knees multiple times. It's not been an easy thing for me. I have searched, I have pleaded with the Lord, I have fasted and prayed and have sought out advice from many to find what I would call my TRUE NORTH. Ultimately though the only true source of truth is from God. I can find peace through Him. I am the one living with blinders on .... He sees the whole picture. He knows what I need to learn and how I need to learn it. I am sure it is hard on Him at times to see me struggle but knowing the end from the beginning He has the knowledge that I will be ok. He sends me angels, daily miracles and impressions to help guide me through this life.

So .. if you find yourself at times wondering. You are NOT alone! Know it's a matter of time if you are willing to put forth the effort to search and be willing to have your ears open to God's message and purpose for you. More than anything I seek to have PEACE in my life. I seek to help others feel peace from whatever it is they struggle with. Peace to me is being one with God and that is where I choose to be in this very moment.

TV Show Studio 5 Segment

ACTION = "The doing of SOMETHING"

Yesterday I was a guest host of a radio show that I do each month and in the middle of the show I looked over and saw a dictionary so I looked up the word ACTION. Wow... I think how simple the definition was but how difficult we make it at times to get into action. Think about it...."the doing of SOMETHING." Isn't it ironic how simple that is.

People ask me all the time what the defining moment was for me to get the results I did of releasing 130 lbs. I have to say it's the very fact that I made one SMALL step in the right direction that caused me to head down a path that has lead to a life full of peace and joy. It doesn't mean I am immune to difficulties but overall I am grateful for the positive outlook I have on life now because of the changes I have experienced in my life.

So many of you out there may be asking yourself, 'How do I make that kind of shift for myself and why when I try and I feel like I keep failing?' Let me tell you that if you would just take a step back and be patient with yourself.. make a small step and decision to move in a positive direction and then everyday continue to take another small step, I promise you, you will experience great changes for the good. I know many of you have felt a lot of frustration and disappointment around weight loss or making necessary changes in your life. If I were right there sitting in front of you, I would ask you the question I ask everyone as I am coaching them one on one which is .."If there is ONE thing you can do that would help you live a healthier life right now, what would it be?" Think about it for yourself. What is the first thing that comes into your mind? Create a plan, find someone you can be accountable to and then MOVE one small step in the right direction. I cannot stress enough how important this is.

I created a PDF file of action steps called... "Key ACTION STEPS to Getting Lasting Results" and you can download it at www.CreatingHealthyLiving.com. These are tangible ACTION STEPS that you can do to overcome and deal with things that are holding you back from what you really want in life. 


I just launched my website www.CreatingHealthyLiving.com where you will find my different packages that I offer for people who are wanting to work with me. I made if possible for everyone to take advantage of what I have to offer. For me personally, the greatest value is working with me one on one as I realized for my own success, I needed to work directly with someone where I could be accountable to and to work through those key issues that were holding me back from lasting results. 


If you NEVER take ACTION in a positive direction, you will NEVER get the positive results you are looking for. It's easier than you think and I am here to help you in such a loving way to get there.

Obtaining "Balance" in Your Daily Life!

Wow.. a lot has happened with me the last week or two in my life and I, along with many of you, are doing my best to keep it all balanced. Here are a few things I have realized as I am learning how to keep balance in my life at any stage. We all have things that come and go in and out of our lives. As for me there are key things that I need to start my day off with in order to keep that balance in check. Here are my dailies that seem to work best for me.

Start off day with what my friend calls...

"Morning Pages" This is when I first wake up I have next to me on my bed a journal where I begin to write out my thoughts, dreams and anything else that really comes to my mind. Many times, I don't remember what it is that I write on other than I allow my mind to go where it is going to go not thinking before hand what I am going to write. Grammar doesn't matter nor spelling and sometimes it's even hard for me to read what I have written but the key is that I get writing. I allow my soul to be expressed on paper until I feel drawn to stop. I don't go back and read it for a few weeks. I want to just allow myself that freedom of expression. It really helps me get my thoughts out and on paper.

"Prayer" This is a great way for me to get my day started as I ask for help in directing me to the people who I need to serve and be in contact with. I ask to feel peace in my decisions and in what I choose to do.

"Scripture Study" I try most days to get some scripture study in. I believe that I speak to God through my prayers but He speaks to me through my scriptures. I love them dearly and am grateful for the power and direction they give me in my life. I read mostly out of the Book of Mormon but am just beginning a serious study of the New Testament as I have not yet really dove into that before. It's fascinating what I learn on a daily basis.

"Meditation" I try and spend some quiet time.. just pondering and allowing my mind to go where it needs to go and then listen to the thoughts I have. I learn from the messages I believe I get in those quiet moments.

So... for me balance is obtained when I put the things of the Lord first in my life. Everything else just seems to fall into place. For me, my testimony of what I know is true may not be your truth but it sure does bring me a lot of peace in having answers to those core questions I have longed answers for my entire life. Where did I come from?? ... Why am I hear?? ... and Where am I going??

If you would like a FREE copy of the Book of Mormon....  CLICK HERE and fill out the form and they will send you one. I have such a strong testimony of the Book of Mormon and the amazing answers it has brought me in my life as to how God sees me and what are the things I need to be learning while I am here in this life time. I have received so much direction and peace in reading the different stories from ancient prophets and I look forward to learning more about Christ and His ministry as I begin my study of the new testament.

ACT NOW: Find those things that help you find balance in your own life. Write them down and start a plan of action to put them in place so that you can create more balance in order to feel more peace. 

Update... Long Time NO Blog.. Back on the track.

I realized I hadn't made an entry on here for a bit. Life is getting busy now that I launched my "30 Days to a Healthier You" Program (www.30DaysToLife.com). It's been an AMAZING experience and a lot of learning for me as I am coaching a large group of people in their journey of releasing weight and truly finding themselves. It's been a pleasure and a delight and even at times, I have shed a tear or two because I remember like it was yesterday how I felt many of the times when I felt there was no hope. 

I found myself weeping the other day at the thought that there are people out there that truly don't understand or even can comprehend the amount of love God has for them. I just want to carry the message to the world that God is always there. There is NO need to ever feel alone or unworthy of His Love. It took me most of my life living in the dark and feeling distant from Him.. to now appreciate His unconditional Love I have felt flow freely from Him as I learned to turn my life over to Him and His will for me. I can't express enough my gratitude for for the knowledge I have of that now. 

I know that life can be difficult at times and many times we don't know what to do other than what we find necessary at the time. Sometimes we turn to unhealthy behavior... sometimes we turn to the Lord and ask for His assistance and sometimes we just plain don't know what to do. As I have struggled with Anxiety over the past couple of years, it's been tough for me to understand at times what I am to learn other than to learn to trust the Lord with all my heart and that He will carry me through anything. I can't say that at the time it is at all pleasant but when I look back, I can't help but see His hand as he has carried me through some very very difficult situations. 

As I am now stepping into a whole other stage in my life and beginning to formulate programs, develop systems and work more with large groups of people, my heart is being stretched. I am learning more about me and how I am.. what my strengths and weaknesses are. It always amazes me how God provides those people into my life who are good at what I am not good at to help me along the way. I tend to think I have to do it all by myself and then I am reminded when someone shows up with exactly the support I need. I shake my head and in great appreciation, I give thanks to the one who created me and all things beautiful. 

Even as I am writing this, I am listening to this AMAZING piano music that I am grateful for. For me this writing is a way for me to share my heart with the world one subject or day at a time. I joke that I wish every person out there had an online blog where they shared their inter most beautiful thoughts so we can all live with such authenticity. I often ask myself why so many people want to hide their true feelings? Why are we soo afraid to be ourselves? What it is about ourselves we are unwilling to accept and share with the world? For me, I am learning more and more everyday to do that. 

I started dating someone the last few weeks and what a blessing he is in my life. He is teaching me how amazing I am and what a blessing I am in the world. Although I don't NEED his validation, it's nice to be acknowledged for the path I have taken and the work I have done on me. If I am totally honest it's more the work God has done on me because of my willingness to surrender to Him. To be experiencing such an authentic and open communication with someone I find to be so sincere is a beautiful thing. I don't share much of dating life but I have to admit that I feel inspired to share with someone out there that  may need to hear what it is that I am experiencing. 

I have NEVER in all my years, felt this type of connection with another as I do with this guy I am dating. Some may look at what we have experienced in the short month that we have known each other and think.. it's impossible to be as close as we are at this point.. but I can't deny the absolute miracles.. ONE AFTER ANOTHER.. that have happened. It seems like everyday we see more miracles. As we sat at dinner last night and started making the list of each miracle each day since we have been together it took hours for us to get through a couple of days. Yes.. it's true, when we both got aligned with our purpose and acknowledged God for the blessings He shows us daily.. it's incredible the abundance that is there. 

I think sometimes..  God is just waiting for us to acknowledge Him.. so He can bless us with MORE. Really it's that simple. The smallest things. For instance, as I was leaving his house last night,  I looked up and the moon was flowing quickly through an abundance of beautiful clouds. It was beautiful! We acknowledged His creation and the opportunity we had of being there to see it. Both of us felt so much gratitude for those things. It's like that every single day since we started dating. It always seems to be a beautiful sunset or sunrise, birds, deer, the stars, the moon..etc. Every single thing comes from God and we have found soo much joy in acknowledging all of it. Both of us love nature. Nature brings me soo much joy it's beyond words at times. 

I am just soo grateful for life right now. Doesn't mean I still don't have tough days but I feel like I have been gifted the tools I need to help me deal with life as it comes as I turn to the Lord to teach me. Life is all about learning and growing and I am grateful for the growth I have experienced over the past few years. It's been beautiful. My hope is by me sharing my heart and my journey with you that you see what is possible for you. 

I released 130 lbs but seriously I have LOST MY MIND!!

YES... Its true! My program that I was offering at $497 is now $11.00. So some may say.. "What the heck?" Well, in the last 24 hours I have received a lot of emails from people who want so badly to do my program.. that honestly need what I have but couldn't afford it so ... God said to offer it to people at the $11.00 price.... so since I am getting really good at following directions even though it sometimes doesn't make sense.. I trust Him. I just want to help the most people I possibly can so take advantage of this. This is a no brainer. If you know of anyone.. I mean ANYONE.. who has struggled with weight issues, self esteem, stress or even total out of balance life, send them my website www.30DaysToLife.com and have them sign up. I say .. give me 30 days and I will give you a whole new life. So if you think you are ready, make sure to sign up and then please pass the word to your friends and family. You are welcome to email me if you have any questions.

I look forward to working with all you faithful followers of mine. This is more fun than I ought to be allowed to have. See you Friday!

"Trust in thyself and in others"

Isn't it so true that TRUST is something a lot of us struggle with? How often do you find yourself second guessing yourself, struggling with knowing whether or not to trust someone close to you or even trusting that gut feeling deep inside your heart? I know for me I have had to have several experiences that have helped me to learn what that voice inside of me is saying and then trusting it in order to make important decisions. It's just like anything... it takes time to develop that muscle.

As I sit here in my PJs on my porch swing and listening to celtic music, I can't help but reflect back on the many opportunities that I have had over the last couple of years where I had to learn to listen and then trust that inner voice, I call God's Spirit to help guide me.

There was a time in my life that I felt so distant from God although I was going through the motions. At times, I thought I was somehow different than others as I heard them tell stories of how powerfully connected they were to God's direction. I felt, somehow left out, not worthy or just not connected. I wanted to know that God was there and that I knew what he desired for me but it was more of a void than anything. Not knowing exactly how to find that true connection, I figured I would just live life the way I had for so long until one day I started the journey of recovery from my food addiction. EVERYTHING began to change almost over night.

It was so interesting to me that almost immediately after I got off of sugar and flour and started working the  12 step program, I felt an AMAZING connection with God. It seemed almost like the food that I was eating and putting into my body was directly affecting that connection. Suddenly this clarity of mind came and life just seemed easier. I have heard time and time again people in our program experience the exact same thing. Is it possible that for the last 30 some odd years, I had been the one that was, with my choices in what I was eating, keep me from the very source that I needed most in my life?

Trusting others... what is there to say about that? Well, people will be people and haven't we all been let down from time to time? I know the more I trust myself, the more I can trust others. Trust is a funny thing. In my opinion it's something that needs to be earned. Earned in the sense that as I experience someone I look for attributes of trust in them. I keep really aware of how I feel when I am around them. I ask myself the question often are they adding to my well being or are they constantly sucking energy from me. You know what I mean .. Leaches.. or lilies. Well, as I have learned to trust my gut it usually is right... and if it's not or I choose to go against it, I find there has always been a lesson for me to learn from it. Not good or bad.. just is!

"ACT NOW Scholarship"

For those of you that are really wanting to work with me but are having a difficult time paying the full tuition. I am offering an "ACT NOW" Scholarship. Click here and you will be directed to my website to fill out your contact information where you can explain your needs. I want to help! Let me know how I can best serve you. Only a few more days til my program starts. www.30DaysToLife.com.

"Connecting with People ..is it Important?"

From a very young age I have always been intrigued with getting to know people. I remember as a little girl sitting out on my front door step asking the guy we hired to paint our garage door a bunch of questions. I wanted to know what got him into painting and if he liked it and what would he do if he didn't paint. I don't know where this desire to connect with people came from other than I just thought people were fascinating. I also remember being a teenager sitting in the dentist office striking up a conversation with someone in the waiting room. Within 5 minutes I knew just about everything about them and afterwards my mother asking me .."How do you do that?"

I want to FEEL someone's soul and I do that by communicating on a deep level. I want to know what makes them passionate. I want to know the "WHY" they are passionate. There is nothing more fullfilling for me than to see someone living their truth and for me to be part of the journey is helping them discover that true passion. I can always tell when they have hit that place where they are doing what they love when I ask them the question.. "If you had all the money in the world and didn't have to worry about any of that.. what would you do?"

True connection with people isn't hard.. it just takes being willing to open yourself to them. People only open up when you create the safe space for them to do so. I have sat down and met with hundreds of people over the past 8 months and I can say each and everyone of those people I connected with because I was intentional about wanting to know them. People love to talk about themselves. They love when people show interest in them and what they are up to. It's not just a networking process but for me has to come from the heart.

As I watched a video we did of my father 2 weeks before he passed away, it just reinforced how important it is to really genuinely care for another human being. My father was a master at this. I swear everyone felt like they were his best friend. I know growing up watching how he did this made an impact on me.

So .. I ask the question, what keeps up from connecting with others sometimes? Well if I was to guess, I would have to say that it might have something to do with not wanting to be vulnerable with people. I am finding this especially among single's. As I am venturing back into the dating world, I am seeing a lot of fear around this topic. I can see there is a lot of history with people but I believe the more confident you are in who you are the more transparent you can be in these types of relationships. For me I have had to dig deep and make sure that I really know me and what I want in order to give myself to someone in a deeper way. I have had to learn to trust myself. That didn't come over night and still takes work but I will say this go around in dating its much different and much more meaningful for me. I am healthier in mind, body and soul and it makes all the difference in the world.

Overall, all of us want to be wanted and want to know that we are important to another human being. It starts with us. We are the ones that need to allow safe spaces for people to connect with us and then be willing to care enough about the other person to show them respect in getting to know them. Connecting authentically and in a healthy way just like anything.. takes work AND is very rewarding from what I have experienced.

"Happy Father's Day.. DAD!" I miss you!

Sorry for the very very long pause at the beginning of this. I couldn't edit it out in time to get it posted. 


15 years ago today was the last time I talked to my dad on the phone. At the time I was serving a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Idaho Falls, Idaho. It was only a short couple months after then that I received a call a week before I was to fly home that my father had passed away in a sudden car accident. I remember immediately feeling a sense of relief as I know life hadn't been easy for my father in many ways. Although he was only 60 at the time, which is soo young, I also felt as though it was his time to go. I can't hardly believe it's been almost 15 years.

Some of the most important things he taught me were ..

• Don't let anyone else determine your value.. you are perfect just the way you are
• Figure out what it is that you love and make money doing it
• When you get bucked off, get right back on and keep going
• People and relationships are important
• Make everyone you meet feel like they are the most important person in your life
• Seek for truth in all things
• It doesn't matter where someone has come from.. love them all the same
• Never to give up on myself ... even when you think others have

My father was one that influenced so many people in this world. He started a summer camp for kids for the sole purpose of making a difference in the world. He had the vision of making the world a better place by teaching correct principle to the youth who would be our future generation. He had the biggest heart in the world. We used to joke with him a lot about his HUGE rib cage. He needed a huge rib cage to hold that huge heart of his. I remember at his funeral people coming up to me and telling me that they had lost their best friend. Of course, I was thinking.. "NO. he's my best friend!" That is how my father was. He made people feel so special. He took time to develop those relationships. Many people trusted him with his life. Still to this day, I hear stories of how much my father meant to them in their lives. He was someone who cared very very deeply for those around him and people could feel it to the very core of their souls. 

I know for a fact as I was struggling through my teenage years, I wouldn't have made it had it not been for the encouragement I got from my dad. I knew he was always there for me. I always knew he believed in me. One of the last things he told my grandmother before he died was that he worried least about me. He knew I was going to be ok. I can't say my father was perfect.. actually he was far from perfect however at the same time he did the very best he knew at the time and I am grateful for the influence he was in my life and still is. I know for a fact he is with me in many ways as I go through this process of healing and of creation. I feel his presents near me often. 

What a beautiful example he was of being a true blue dreamer. I got my passion from him and my drive to never quit. He lead his life from his heart. He believed in people. He was a thinker.. a very deep one at that and wanted more than anything to live in nature which is where he found his soul rejuvenated. I know for a fact that so much of who I have become is because of him. 

So today with it being father's day I want to share with the world, my appreciation for who he was and what role he still plays in my life today. Dad.. thank you for your example, your tenacity, your love and your acceptance of me at all different stages. I love you.. I miss you.. I think of you.... and I acknowledge your presents still in my life. 

"Triggers.....What are they?"

I have to say today has been a day of triggers for me. Not good or bad.. just is. So what is a trigger? Many times I say that word, people kind of look at me strange. The best way I have to explain what a trigger is if one minute you are feeling totally fine and at peace and then something someone says or does, triggers a strong emotion within you that doesn't feel so good. Ever had that happen to you? Well it happened to me 2 separate times to me today.

So why do we get triggered? Well, for me it usually means there is something for me to learn more about myself. Triggers have very very little to do with that other person. Many times we want to blame our triggers on others because that keeps us in a place of being a victim. To me triggers are there to teach me.. even when they are painful at times and I don't know in the  moment what they mean.

So today as I got triggered as someone was talking in church, I realized afterwards it was because what was being said sounded just like me many years ago when I wasn't in a good place in my life. Not to say that the person is where I was.. she just brought all those feelings back to me. Again not good or bad.. just is. It's all just information the feelings it stirred in me.

After I had time to reflect, make a phone call and turn to God to seek for answers to the "why," I realized  why I do what I do and why I am so passionate about it. I spend time blogging, coaching people, sharing my story with others, all because I hate to see people continue down the road of self hatred. It's everywhere. With men.. with women. I KNOW what it feels like to be in a place where I have felt like a failure and that I couldn't do anything right and that no one would ever want me. I know what it feels like to wish I could end of my life so I didn't have to worry about fitting in or doing the wrong thing. I know what it feels like to feel true rejection. I know what it feels like to not see one ounce of hope in my life regarding my weight, my worth, my relationships etc. I know and have been to the darkest of dark for me when I wanted to end my life thinking it was going to solve it all. I know what it feels like to live in such SHAME that I never thought I couldn't have it any other way.

I also have experienced the greatest amount of JOY possible for me to this point in my life. Once I experienced this abundant JOY and PEACE in my life.. there is no turning back. I now know what it feels like and when I don't feel it, I am unsettled and do everything I can to get it back. So when I got triggered today, instead of freaking out and going into the food or some other unhealthy behavior, I turned to God and to others who could help me get through it to seek for answers. It's time for me to go in and then up to God for understanding. If you think about it, God is the ultimate source of answers. So what did I learn from my triggers today...

• I learned that it's important to accept others for exactly where their at.
• I learned that if God wants me to be in service in sharing my story... he will provide the way, I don't have to force that onto anyone.
• I learned that when I get triggered to not react but instead not engage in conversation til I have had time to sit with what I am to learn.
• I learned that first and foremost I need to take care of myself
• I learned that other's problems are not mine to fix unless God provides the EASY path to do so
• I learned that God loves me 
• I learned that I am not perfect however it's ok I am perfectly where I am
• I learned to always be open and share what is in my heart as long as I am straight in my intentions
• I learned even more how important it is to connect authentically with others. 
• I learned people who I am triggered by are there to teach me something about me.. NOT THEM.

So much of life is about trial and error. I love that I get to on a daily basis discover more and more about me. I get to go deeper in my recovery.. deeper in my healing.. deeper in my connection with God. He truly is my partner and the more I include him in EVERYTHING.. the more I see His magical hand in ALL THINGS. 

"Finding PEACE with Self and Others"

When people ask me what success means to me, I don't hesitate at all in answering feeling "PEACE!" I can't stress enough how much that has meant to me in my life. I think of how much of my life I lived being at war with who I was and what I thought of myself. I honestly can't think of a time that I have felt this much peace ever. It seems sometimes so ordinary that people say they want peace but what does that really mean?

We say we want peace but what are we doing on a daily basis to find it.

For me peace is a feeling of completeness, wholeness, serenity, balanced, content, love, acceptance and being centered. Even in this moment as I sit on my bed, listening to my pandora, meditative music with my candles on, with my window open and the wind blowing through the trees, I am in gratitude for the solitude I feel in the deepest part of my soul. Sometimes I wonder if life gets any better than this.

I cherish these moments because I know they are a gift from God. So much of my life was lived with one drama after another from the people I chose to surround myself with or the negative chatter in my head. As I learned to quiet my mind, my thoughts and my emotions, I began to find this place in my soul that was at rest. It's like with anything, I had to work at learning how to get here.

If you find yourself always on edge, always trying to control things and never feeling settled, I challenge you to take some time looking at why you don't allow your soul to breathe. SLOW DOWN... take time for you. Peace doesn't come when you are at war. Where are you at war in your life? Make a list... look at it. What can you do to start eliminating negativity? Are there people you need to set boundaries around? Are there some people you need to stop hanging out with? Let me tell you, I am now so sensitive to those people around me that are in that negative energy that it's tangible when they are with me. I don't listen to their stories for too long until I excuse myself. I am not to say I don't spend time with people who are struggling in life but if you are in a place you are not willing to humbly look at things and make changes, there is nothing I can do to help. On the other hand, I thrive and enjoy very much those people who are really ready to take it on and who are truly searching for that peace. They are the ones who I delight in helping along the journey to finding peace and they are usually the ones that find it. They inspire me as I watch them shift and find healing to what they have experienced in their lives.

The beautiful thing about all this is that I have learned that regardless of where anyone is at .. at any given time in their life, I have no judgement.. it's just where they are at however when it comes to my own personal boundaries, it's important that I surround myself with positivity and healthiness because ultimately it does affect my own peace. Again.. this is just what is true for me. You will need to find out what is true for you.

I want to let you know that I think of each of you multiple times a day as I am developing my programs. Hoping that I tap into what it is that you need most. I believe God allows me to go through my own journey and experiences so that I may share with you how I find peace in my own life. I first had to find peace with who I am .. what I stand for and the gift that I am to the world... afterwards I am learning how important it is to make peace with my surroundings.

"Are you Willing to Pay the Price to be Healthy?"

I know what you are thinking...."I have tried so many times to lose weight and get healthy and I am good for a little bit but then I fall off the wagon and gain it all back. I have been on every diet out there, I don't know why everyone else seems to get it but me? What's wrong with me. I will never figure it out and it's hard for me to lose weight." Well.. losing weight is as hard or as easy as you want to make it. Seriously.... you are making it WAY to hard with all the negative beliefs you have around it. Take it from me that has released 130 lbs and been dieting since I was 7 years old... not to mention was suicidal at age 15 after many years of hating myself.

So .. why do I ask the question, "Are you willing to Pay the Price to get healthy?" I can't force anyone to do anything. I know I spent years of my life thinking I could but I now choose only to work with people who are really ready. When I have a willing and ready individual, I can help create MASSIVE results. How much is that worth to you?

For me releasing my 130 lbs and most importantly being healthy and feeling PEACE most of my life, is seriously PRICELESS. I can't even begin to explain what it feels like to live the life I am living now. I am in a place now that I have learned to love and accept myself exactly where I am .. not to mention have learned to do the same for others around me. Looking back I would have paid ANYTHING to get what I have now. The problem is, I couldn't even begin to imagine me being able to be where I am now. It all started with a decision to get into action. So I ask the question again.. "Are you willing to Pay the Price?" Yes there is a price to pay. It's called getting rid of the negative self talk, putting in the time to shift your mindset and the way you think of dieting or exercise to be successful at working with me. This is not rocket science. I start everyone out on very simple practices and habits. I want you to succeed. I know for a fact that if you follow the program I have outlined for my "30 Days to a Healthier You" program, you WILL lose weight, you WILL feel more peace in your life, you WILL learn to love and accept you .. all of you and will have a greater amount of peace and love for those around you. I know this sounds wonderful and it is.. however, know that it takes work AND that work doesn't have to be hard. Actually I would argue that living a life of unhealthiness is SOOO much harder than one of a healthy one but I will save that point for another blog entry.

We all need a support team a coach and if you are ready and willing to take it on, I am here to support you.

Get signed up for my "30 Day JUMP START to a Healthier You" Program. You will not regret it as you join me and many other people on this journey of once and for all stopping the cycle of unhealthy living.

"Are you a CONTROL FREAK?"

So how many of you think it's your job to control EVERYTHING in your life? So you think if you are not in control of everything that the world will fall apart? Well, I hate to break the news to you, but it's NOT YOUR JOB. Well, I know that's how I used to be. I can't say I am rid of that need to control but I have gotten better at knowing what that feels like inside of me.. and I get better at surrendering those things that are beyond my control. I used to try and control my former husband, my friends, my family, time, my feelings, my circumstances, my boss, other people etc.

Serenity Prayer....

God.. Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change....

The COURAGE to change the things I can and

The WISDOM to know the difference

Thy Will be Done.. NOT MINE!

The number one thing I desire in life is to feel PEACE. As I attended a good friend of mine's funeral a few days ago, it was said that only a few days before he passed away, he was searching for that Peace in his own life. How important is that to you? I know for me it is absolutely vital. I know it's not possible to feel it 100% of the time, but I know I can say I am grateful that I feel it most of my life these days and I attribute that to the way I choose to live. I spend time on taking care of me and my basic spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. It helps me keep balanced and therefore I feel peace. It's when I find myself trying to control something or someone that I get knocked off center and dang it if it takes me awhile to be willing to let it go. There are several things I do to help let go of what I feel I can control. Many of these things are in my tips for the day.

I realize now that I can't control anything and that I need God in my life to help guide me in all I do. I first have to let Him in and I let Him in when I LET GO. I know I know.. it's easier said than done,. It doesn't have to be. Our natural man wants to think it's our job to control it but when we let go and let God direct our very thoughts, actions and deeds.. there is true freedom there. I can tell you I feel as though it has become easier as time has gone by as I have learned to exercise that muscle of trust and of letting go. I always say... "trust and run.." Sometimes it's a bit scary to do that but when I do, I find peace in knowing that I am not alone in whatever I am facing at that time in my life.

ACT NOW: So this is something I did several months ago to see all the areas in my life that I have tried controlling. Get a piece of paper out or your journal and start listing all the different ways you find yourself trying to control things, yourself, your children, family, your boss, your customers etc. Keep writing til you feel complete. If you need to, go back to when you first recall in your life trying to control things. Ask yourself why you think it's your job to control and what would happen if you let go of that need to control and see what comes out. Don't judge what flows out of you. It's all just information and something to look at. Once you feel you are complete, be willing to surrender it to God and let Him take it all from you. I know when I do this, there is a sense of peace that comes into my life because I feel I have acknowledged my need to control and also have realized that it's not my job.

"LET GO .. AND LET GOD!!"

"Do your very best and let God do the rest!"