Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Asking for comments....

So some of you have told me that you read my blogs each day but I have no idea who you are. Please I would love to hear from you and what it is that touches you in your life and your experiences that you have to share. I started blogging more often because a good friend of mine told me she was reading my blogs. I had no idea anyone was even out there listening.

Please, if I can be of any service to anyone, share this blog with them. Let them know that there is hope. It doesn't have to be just weight loss. That just happened to be what my vehicle was to gain the success I have but any of the principles I have learned will work in assisting others to getting what they want out of life. We all have struggles and things that get in our way from getting everything that we want. My weight was a big one. I will be blogging a lot more as I am writing my book and please if you have any comments, share them with me. I would love to hear from you.

Live in the Moment... JUST FOR TODAY.

For the longest time, I have had a long list of things in my life that I have "WANTED." It seems at times that those things would never come to fruition. They were always somehow out of reach and for me, being the weight I am now seemed unthinkable. I used to look at someone at this size and think to myself, 'I wonder what it would feel like to be able to tuck clothes in or be comfortable in my own skin.'  See to me, everyone who was thin had their life together and was happy or if they weren't they should be. I thought if only I could get to that point everything will be perfect. I have never lived in the moment until now.
I always had clothes in my closet that were too small thinking that someday I will fit in those clothes. Over the years, I accumulated really high quality nice clothes and carried them with me for 14+ years. Finally this year as I approached that size 8, I found myself moving too quickly through the sizes and suddenly these clothes that once looked sooo small were too big for me.

How often in life do we hold onto things and carry them with us that we never use. I was living in the future - a future that I passed through so fast that I didn't get to be in. I am learning to live in the moment. I can honestly say now that there is not one piece of clothing that I own that doesn't fit me. I have to admit though it's taken awhile for me to get used to the fact that I won't be losing anymore weight and that this is who I am going to be the rest of my life. I don't ever remember a time in my life that I didn't have this on my mind.
Last night I went on a hike and when it came to a steep hill, I couldn't help but revert back to the thoughts of  'I can't hike that.. I will be out of breathe. I better not go or at least if I do,  I have to hide the fact that I am out of breath.' These are thoughts left over from when I carried around an extra 130 lbs. Just like my clothes, I am still living in the past or the future. A large part of my past still lives in me when I find myself having those kinds of thoughts. To help heal from this negative thinking, I do my best to stay in the present by looking around and thanking God for what it is that I DO have in life. "Gratitude is the acceptance of things as they are." I also like to add  "Gratitude is accepting who I am EXACTLY where I am right now." I can't say its easy but it releases me from the heavy weight of the shame that holds me down.

Needless to say, I have no control over the past nor the future so I am learning one day at a time to take life as it comes and enjoy the journey. Life is a journey... not a destination.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Look to God and Live

Finding my Own Voice

As I went on my run this morning, a song came on my ipod which made me reflect on life. The name of the song is called "My own Voice." At first I thought I would just run the shorter 2 mile run but then I got thinking how many times I take the easy road out so I decided to push myself today. When I was filming my audition video for Oprah I kept telling myself that I had to do the 12 lines perfectly in order for me to feel good about my video but it wasn't until after about an hour of starting over and over again that the guy shooting the video suggested me working on 3 lines at a time and then he would cut and edit the film. I look back and think of all the time I wasted trying to do it perfectly on the first try. He helped me realize that in order to succeed at anything in life, I needed to learn to do it just one baby step at a time. Suddenly the pressure of my perfection came to a screeching halt and the weight of what seemed like an impossible task became manageable. It's not that I didn't know this concept but now it was something I was experiencing. Then I thought of this huge undertaking I had just taken in losing 130 lbs. I didn't just wake up one day and poof... the weight was gone. It took me being willing to take ONE STEP AT A TIME.. and my steps took the form of the 12 steps of recovery from food addiction. What a blessing the 12 steps are for me in my life.

So as I was running this morning, there were times when I sprinted.. times when I was at a steady jog and sometimes when I just walked. Isn't that just like life. I found myself going into my shame about the fact I wasn't sprinting and pushing myself 100% of the time but then I would catch myself and say 'you can't be running full force 100% of the time, you will burn out!' In those moments, I gave myself permission to just be where I was. During the run, I also found myself setting goals to run a certain distance, and then found myself pushing myself beyond my little milestones. I believe no matter where we are in life, is absolutely perfect for us. God is very aware of where we are and wants soo much to support us, we just have to learn to turn to him and surrender to His will.

So the song that I am listening to right this second is... "Get out of your head and into your hearts!" Isn't that soo true. "Lay down your fears.. swallow your tears and look to your heart!" I believe we have all the answers to our questions right inside of us. We were created perfectly with everything that we need to succeed. It's when we believe the lies that Satan tells us about ourselves that we get stuck. It's all just information. Take the information that your life is giving you and MOVE in a positive direction ONE STEP AT A TIME. Believe when you are in partnership with God ..that the possibilities are ENDLESS.

As for "My Own Voice" I learned today that I first need to know and appreciate who I am and what my own truth is in order to live the life that I desire. This has been a huge step in my growth this past year in a half. I can't say I am perfect at it but as I spend time each day reflecting on my thoughts and my feelings I get better at tuning into my own truths and then being vulnerable to share them with others.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

"Receiving.. vs Taking"

I discovered something on a deeper level this weekend. This life is not a life of just giving giving and more giving. There are times that I get to receive. So much of my life I haven't thought I was worthy to be the recipient of service. A friend of mine is helping me see that I not only get to learn to take care of myself first but also that it is ok to ask for support from others when I am in need. When did I first learn in my life that asking for help was a bad things, let alone being "willing" to receive is even worse. We all create faulty core beliefs around certain things that many times don't make any sense. God would never give us the message that receiving is a bad thing.. or that somehow that means that we are takers. The adversary is who tells us these lies day in and day out. I choose today to take care of me and to create a support team around me that when I need them, I can call on them. I do have to clarify that I believe and know for a surety that God has brought certain people into my life to teach me and to support me. I thank God for those experiences and blessings they are in my life.

Friday, September 24, 2010

First day into this writing my book process and.......

I am up at 5 am. What's up with that? I am not a morning person at all. As a matter of fact I went to bed at 12:30 last night and usually don't wake up til one of my sponsees calls me at 6:45 am. So maybe Og Mandino's principles are in full blown motion now as I am waking up with more vigor for the day. I am not tired and ready to take on the day. I do have to admit that even though I live alone it's just more peaceful in these early  morning hours than at night. When I was writing my outline for my book last night the content just seemed to keep flowing and I could have stayed up all night filling in the gaps of the outline with stories and memories of what my life used to be like 130 lbs ago. This has been quite a journey I have been on and I am excited to see where it leads me now. I know that for me, it's all about giving back ... lifting others... and knowing that God will put me where I need to be to touch another's life.

I am having so many experiences happen daily where I have shared part of my own recovery with someone and they have come back to me and said that what I shared with them has totally changed their life. I know that these experiences I have are not of me. God has put others in my life to teach  me these simple principles and I am just passing them on.

As I have been working the Og Mandido principles... I have see yet another shift in my life. I am waking up with a new outlook on life. A life of abundance rather than scarcity. Looking back I realize much of my life, I have always felt like I would loose everything all the time so I clung onto it all. Now I am learning to let go... give away and share what it is that I have so that I can allow things to flow easily through me. I pray for opportunities to give out.... rather than to take from people. I often will send out energetically good energy to those I tend to resist. I feel this helps heal me of any judgements I may have. I believe we are all connected and that we can feel and affect others in a very real way with the thoughts we have towards them. If I gift good will to others.. I have good will gifted to me. It's just what I have experienced.

As I learn to understand my subconscious and conscious thoughts, I learn to make choices based on those thoughts being in balance or not balanced. This is where the Og Mandino assessment is soo important. It's a tool I am using to measure my thoughts. You can go to and take it for free if you would like. It was very powerful for me when I learned to understand my own thought processes.

Well, I am off for a weekend with the girls in the mountains so do something for yourself whether it be big or small. Learn to take care of this body that God has given you which houses your spirit. You matter to me and to God. God Bless!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Started my Book tonight

After being on the radio last weekend and committing to having my book done in 6 months I thought I might as well get started on it. A good friend of mine encouraged me to get my outline written so I put the deadline for tonight to have that done.. so here we go. I am really excited to not only share my story but to also give practical keys to what worked for me to get the results I have gotten. I didn't use any kind of drugs or diet program. This is about turning it all over to God and allowing Him to do with me what I was not able to do for myself. I am soo grateful this night for the spiritual journey I have been on and the many angels God has put in my life to carry me through it all. Once I opened my eyes and started acknowledging God for the many miracles and angels he brought into my life, it just seemed to keep expanding. Tonight I have sooo many blessings in my life and am grateful for all of you who have been by my side.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Answering the Call

Most days I am learning to first start my day off with asking God to direct my thoughts and my actions. I ask to be lead in everyway way from what to do, who to serve, who do I need to connect to, what do I need to read and so on. From that point on, I then just listen and take direction and get into action. Answering the call or the direction I get from my higher power puts me in a place of peace and joy. I can surrender to what HE wants of me and throw out the agendas I seem to impose on myself at times. I have found it doesn't work so well when I try and control any kind of outcome. Sometimes I find myself spinning in my head and in those moments I learn to just let go and let God take over. I can't say it's always easy and many times, I have to pull out several different tools to finally surrender it but it works.

See I believe that anytime I try and control anything in my life, I soon realize I have NO CONTROL over anything so I choose to sit back and listen to the direction God gives me and then go to work doing what I am asked to do. Sometimes it's those tiny little thoughts of calling someone or researching something that turn out to be the most AMAZING blessing. I can't tell you how many times in the last couple of weeks I have just been amazed with who I have been lead to. The blessings are there, you just have to choose to ask, then listen for the messages and then ANSWER THE CALL.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

This is Angel Shannon and I at KTalk am 630 Radio.

Living a life of intention

For the past few years, I have worked on living a life on purpose. For many of you that know me personally, I keep myself pretty busy in my head about what I am doing. I am seeing the results of my intentional thoughts. For me it starts with figuring out what it is that I want in life, write it down, share it with others and then get to work. In order to intentionally create I must be clear on what I want to create. I knew many years ago when people would ask me if I saw myself overweight my whole life I would say NO. I knew something would come along where I made the necessary shift to take off the weight. I never in a million years thought I would have stubbled upon a 12 step recovery program for food addiction. I have to say though, if I hadn't decided to go with my friend to a Las Vegas Conference that Friday in February 2009, I am not sure I would be where I am today.

This progam has completely changed my life forever. I now dedicate a lot of my time to sharing the message of recovery. I know that there may even be some of you that are reading this that are wondering if this could work for you. After a year and a half in recovery, I have to say I have discovered that the only real thing I have had control over, is my own will. I have had to get up every morning and be "WILLING" to work the program, "WILLING" to be honest and "WILLING" to turn my life over to God. God then did the rest in releasing the 130 lbs from my body. I used to think that I was big boned and just today a friend of mine noticed how small my wrists are. I think how many times I would use that as an excuse of why I was the way I was to hide the fact I just was overweight. Not to say there are not big boned people... I just wasn't one of them.

I am soo grateful to my higher power who I call God for his strength he has given me to follow through and to be willing. I now know it's not about my power but HIS that carries me through my toughest moments in my life.