Saturday, July 31, 2010

Being of service to others

Have you ever thought how interesting it is...that when we are in the service of others we end up receiving soooo much more back. I love how much fun it is to serve and inspire and know it's not me that allows for those opportunities. Each day I run into mini miracles as I come in contact with people who get inspired by my story. My story is just God's story through me of hope and of love for all people. I am learning through my own experiences that I am only able to see in others what it is that I see within myself. As I got inspired today to do more volunteer work, it just filled my soul with excitement about what I will be able to experience.

I remember once talking to my homeopathic about this absolute Joy I felt as I woke up every morning and looked at the mountains. I asked him if there was something wrong with me for being so Joyful. I explained to him that my father was bipolar and I was worried that this joyfulness was somehow manic he replied saying to me.. "Don't you get it... we are suppose to feel those feelings?" I was taken back by that. Was I somehow dying a slow death where I thought feeling joy in my life was somehow bad or manic? Well, that was the beginning of a long journey of joyful moments in my life. I still thank God for these beautiful mountains that surround me. There is an energy about them that brings life into my life. Being in nature for me is healing. This is why I am so passionate about bringing people to nature and allowing them to experience for themselves the healing power that is there for them.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Absolute Surrender

So within one month, I hit my goal weight, finalized my divorce and quit my job of 6 1/2 years. All three of which are huge in and of itself. It's a miracle I feel amazingly invigorated and excited about where my life is taking me. The three feelings that have addressed me today are the feeling of Sadness, Excitement and Peace. All at the same time.

I have been listening to a series called DreamUCamp at It's been amazing to hear all these different people who have all come to the same conclusions as I have but have come by very different paths in life. I am just thrilled to know in the bottom of my soul that there is soo much abundance in this life to go around if only we care to partake of it all.

My new mantra is "I am enough..I have enough.. and there is enough to go around in this world." What I discovered this week was that my whole life of dieting it's always been about scarcity.. not enough...can't have ..etc. As I eat today, my life if full of food - good food which fills not only my body but also my soul. I spend a lot of time in abundance when it comes to my recovery. I feel so blessed to know and feel the peace associated with that abundance. There is a real shift happening with me in the last couple of weeks and it's going to be exciting to see where I go.

I am in TOTAL surrender to God and His will for me. It will be a blast seeing what he does with me and where he leads me because I am wide open to possibilities. Few things I am very clear about and am now waiting for God to fill in all the details of it all. Life is Good.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Gifts life gives me

Life sometimes gives us things that are painful for us to experience but through that pain is how we grow. For me, for many years I used food to cover up those painful feelings and now I just allow those feelings to address me and then hold on as they pass through me. I can't say it's always easy ... but at least I feel them, acknowledge them and then surrender them to God. I come out the other end of it all stronger. It has helped me in many ways to have an amazing support team and many tools I have picked up along the way to help through it all. Core emotions are God given and until I realized that I didn't need to shame myself for feeling what I was feeling.. I am FREE! Free from the bondage I was keeping myself in. No one can make me suffer. It is my choice only to allow myself to stay in that place.

I was listening to an interview last night as I drove home late from Salt Lake where the lady said that she has learned to just say "NO MORE" to self hatred, to self doubt to pitty and to other negative thoughts we have. I love that. There is power in saying "NO MORE!"

Today I am in such gratitude for these lessons I am learning on a daily basis. It's these beautiful gifts of self love that I am learning were always there for me to partake of... I just wasn't ready to pick them up and embrase them into my life.