Tuesday, February 8, 2011

"The Key to Success is Your WILLINGNESS"

Willingness. Did I even know what that really meant before I started my journey into recovery?? That would be a big FAT (No pun intended) NO! For me I couldn't progress at all in my life if I wasn't willing. The day my friend asked me to attend a 12 step meeting for the first time I was barely willing to go and begged my husband at the time to go with me because I wasn't about to do this alone.

See, in the past I NEVER responded well when people told me to do anything. If it wasn't my own idea, I would stomp my foot down and say 'NO WAY,' literally. Even as a child if you look through my school papers where I used to doodle all day long, I would write hundred of times over..  'NO WAY,' that's how much I hated people telling me what to do . Not to say I am perfect at it now but I have come a long way where now I am a lot more humble and 'willing' to take counsel from those around me. I guess it has everything to do with being teachable. How often in our lives do we have the 'my way or the highway' thinking? I know that has been me up until the last 2 years.

When I finally turned my will over to God and let him take over and help me with this weight problem did I ever find peace. I learned to take care of myself and that I was important. Up until this point, I felt as though throwing myself under the bus was a noble thing to do and something people looked up to me for. What I didn't realize was I didn't know who I was enough to even care to take care of myself in any healthy manner. I now come from a place knowing who I am and always making sure that I am giving myself the love that I need in a healthy way. It is soo important to me now that I am constantly checking in with myself and where I am at. This is all new to me and at the same time, I love knowing who I am and watching me stand for what's important to me. Talk about self discovery. I love it. I am quite fascinating. It's like meeting a new friend and discovering what they are like for the first time.

See.. I had to get willing in many areas of my life to make this major shifts. It took me being willing to be sponsored, listen to counsel, weigh and measure my food, make my calls, attend my meetings, do my writing, now exercising, do service and give back to others and work my program. If that one element of 'willingness' wasn't there, I wouldn't have gotten any of the results I have.

So how do you get willing? That is a really really good question. I don't have the magic answer to that. I guess for some people your life has to get soooo bad that you can't stand it anymore. For some people it's the constant .. trying and failing over and over and over again that finally gets them willing to try ONE LAST TIME. I hear it all the time that people had just hit rock bottom and when they heard all these amazing success stories, it gave them hope to try one last time. For some people failure is not an option. They can't give up and if they do, they will die.

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine in the program that has really struggled back and forth with her weight for years. We were talking about willingness and her comment was that willingness just boils down to your choice. You choose to be willing or NOT. By the way.. it's ok to not be willing.. it just means that you continue down the road that you are on. Until you decide you want something different and get willing to take care of yourself, will you truly start seeing a shift in your life. It's really that simple.

Again the example of me and my willingness to start training for this marathon. It took me a long time but when I FINALLY got willing to do it, the shift happened in a split second. I don't feel that resistance I have had for 2 years.. instead I feel a commitment to taking care of myself and scheduling the time to work my training schedule.

ACT NOW: Make a list of those areas in your life you have been unwilling to change. Pick one.. you heard me.. JUST ONE .. and make a choice RIGHT NOW to get willing to do something different and healthy around it. One other thing that has really helped me is to share it with someone else. Being accountable to someone if VITAL to your success... at least that is what I have experienced. There is a reason I post on Facebook that I am training for my marathon. I am now accountable to a LOT of people and that helps me stay dedicated to the goal I set for myself. When I want to give up.. I know others are rooting for me and are looking for me to accomplish the goals I set out for myself.

1 comment:

  1. Becky, those are very beautiful words. I've been thinking the past couple days. As a general guide in recovery "we willingly turn our lives over to God." then something comes along like the opportunity to be willing to eat right, exercise or whatever it is. The old lies we have told ourselves start screaming for us to listen to them. The moment we recognize them for the lies that they are; willingness to choose something new springs up. We again choose to turn this over to God, and humbly ask Him to remove this shortcoming, this lie. In that split second that you were talking about, the willingness of our hearts, turns to God and peace is showered on our souls.

    I don't know, this is just how I have started to come to understand how this works for me. I think I will talk more on this on my blog, love to have you come visit. http://my-fire-spirit.blogspot.com/