Monday, February 28, 2011

"SURRENDER.. Let Go.. Let God!

Ever felt like your life was spinning out of control and you felt as though you are paralyzed by everything that needs to get done? I know for me I am getting used to how that feels and am learning those are the times I need to just surrender. Surrender doesn't mean to give up, actually surrender means to Let Go! When we try and control things, we are telling God that we don't trust Him. He is just waiting for us to surrender it to take it. The funny thing is He will not take anything that we are unwilling to give Him. See we try and control soo may aspects of our lives and especially people or situations that are way beyond our control. In those moments when I can feel myself spinning, I am learning to go to what I know works.

A couple of things come to mind when I choose to surrender. I sometimes will make a list of things that I need to get done with of course little boxes off to the left hand side of each item. See.. I like the feeling of putting a check mark next to the action showing that I have completed the task. When I am done with that, I look down the list and ask myself, "If I were to only pick one thing off this list, what would it be?" Then I repeat that several times until I have my NEXT RIGHT THING to do.

I also use my surrender Box. Last year sometime I bought this beautiful box that I use as my so called "GOD BOX." This is a box that I use to surrender things I know I can't control but find myself TRYING to control. I put a stack of 3 x 5 Cards next to the box and when I need to surrender things I have a 2 step process that I do. I write on the card the following...

I date it (I like to do this because every once in a while I check to see what I have surrendered and if I have taken it back and am still trying to control that in my life)

Dear God..  (Like he doesn't know who he is ;) lol)

I surrender......... then list that thing or things that you need to surrender to him.

Then I like to put 5 gratitude's on there so I can acknowledge his hand in my life.

Then I sign it with my name (Like he doesn't know who I am ;) lol)

So once I have written everything out..... I then get on my knees and surrender it spiritually. I pray and ask God to take this obsession from me to control.

This process takes time like with anything to get down. It takes practice. For me it took me being willing to do it. It does make a difference. There are times I have had to surrender the same things multiple times. I know that as I have gotten better at doing this more often, it has made all the difference in the world for me.

So Surrender Physically (Cards in Box) and then Spiritually  (In Prayer on our knees).

Now you don't have to have some fancy box... I just picked mine up from Ross. They have some beautiful cheap boxes. Some people use a jar or a shoe box. Doesn't really matter. Just try it and let me know how it works.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Victoria and I down at camp Jan 2011

"Accountability Partners... Why have them?"

As I look back on the last 6 months of my life, it's been really evident to me  how important accountability partners have been. What do I mean by this? Well, what I have discovered it doesn't really matter who the  accountability partner is but rather that I have put them in place as I have wanted to get certain things accomplished. If I was left to doing it on my own in isolation, I can guarantee I most likely wouldn't do it. I am just like most of you out there. Yes.. it's important that you are motivated from inside to do things AND it's vitally important to be accountable to someone and learn to keep your word.

For instance, back when I ran my first marathon I actually... went about telling people I was going to do it before I even believed it myself. It was what got me going. I love what many people say in the world of motivation is.. "ACT AS IF.." Well, that is what I did. I still do that today. In order to be a thin person, you need to act like a thin person. In order to be wealthy.. you gotta hang with the wealthy.. in order to be successful you gotta seek out successful people and do what they do.

People come to me because they want what I have and what I always tell them is.. "You want what I have you gotta do what I do." I love what I heard from an audio cd today.. he explained that you don't wait to lose 15 lbs to start doing what healthy people do.. ... it's just the opposite. You need to start doing what healthy people do and then your results will show it. It's the same with anything.

As I train for this upcoming marathon, there are days that I don't want to go out and run. I put it out there on Facebook and therefore on those tough days, I know I am now accountable to run it and that when I see people now they ask me how the training is going. I can't give up. I won't give up even on the days that I just don't want to do it. Today was a bit scary for me because I ran 8 miles. I haven't done that in 10 years. Although this time my body is completely different, I am noticing my mind tends to like to play tricks on me and make me think I can't do it. My experience in training for a marathon is it's 10% challenging on the body.. and 90% challenging of the mind. I guess that is why I want to do it. It's mental toughness.

I have gone through some pretty tough things the last 10 years AND I have grown a ton from it all. I want to be as strong as I can mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. If this is one vehicle to getting that .. then so be it I run. As I approached my last mile today, a friend of mine texted me. We had made a previous arrangement with each other that we would text each other when we were done with our workouts. She finished, I got the text then told her I had just a mile left and she texted me. "You got this one Girl!" That gave me the strength to not give up and keep going. I soon found myself repeating those exact words outloud so that I REALLY GOT IT. I was so grateful for my cute accountability partner because she kept me going and gave me a reason to not give up.

ACT NOW: What is ONE thing in your life that you want to accomplish that you haven't yet? By when do you want to have that done? Who in your life can you have as your accountability partner? For me texting when I am done with something works really well. I committed 3 people this week to texting me when they accomplished their goal. There is AWESOME power in doing this. JUST DO IT! If you would like me to be your accountability partner, email me at I would love to apart of your support group. Email me your goal and a BY WHEN and I will put it on my calender.

Friday, February 25, 2011

"Importance of Emotions"

Isn't it frustrating and very frightening at times to feel emotion? For women I think it's easier to feel it and express it but either way it can be scary. I found this great content on a website that I wanted to share with you on Emotions. If you want to read more on it, click the link and it will take you to the page where I found the information.

Importance of Emotions

Here are a few of the reasons our emotions are important in our lives. By the way, the first few chapters of Goleman's 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence, have a good presentation on evolution and emotions.

Nature developed our emotions over millions of years of evolution. As a result, our emotions have the potential to serve us today as a delicate and sophisticated internal guidance system. Our emotions alert us when natural human need is not being met. For example, when we feel lonely, our need for connection with other people is unmet. When we feel afraid, our need for safety is unmet. When we feel rejected, it is our need for acceptance which is unmet.

Decision Making
Our emotions are a valuable source of information. Our emotions help us make decisions. Studies show that when a person's emotional connections are severed in the brain, he can not make even simple decisions. Why? Because he doesn't know how he will feel about his choices.

Predicting Behavior
Our feelings are also useful in helping us predict our own, and others' behavior. Here is an article on the idea that feelings predict behavior.

Boundary Setting
When we feel uncomfortable with a person's behavior, our emotions alert us. If we learn to trust our emotions and feel confident expressing ourselves we can let the person know we feel uncomfortable as soon as we are aware of our feeling. This will help us set our boundaries which are necessary to protect our physical and mental health.

Our emotions help us communicate with others. Our facial expressions, for example, can convey a wide range of emotions. If we look sad or hurt, we are signaling to others that we need their help. If we are verbally skilled we will be able to express more of our emotional needs and thereby have a better chance of filling them. If we are effective at listening to the emotional troubles of others, we are better able to help them feel understood, important and cared about.

The only real way to know that we are happy is when we feel happy. When we feel happy, we feel content and fulfilled. This feeling comes from having our needs met, particularly our emotional needs. We can be warm, dry, and full of food, but still unhappy. Our emotions and our feelings let us know when we are unhappy and when something is missing or needed. The better we can identify our emotions, the easier it will be to determine what is needed to be happy.

Our emotions are perhaps the greatest potential source of uniting all members of the human species. Clearly, our various religious, cultural and political beliefs have not united us. Far too often, in fact, they have tragically and even fatally divided us. Emotions, on the other hand, are universal. Charles Darwin wrote about this years ago in one of his lesser-known books called "The Expression of Emotion In Man and Animal". The emotions of empathy, compassion, cooperation, and forgiveness, for instance, all have the potential to unite us as a species. It seems fair to say that, generally speaking: Beliefs divide us. Emotions unite us.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

"Relationship with Self...Are You at War or at Peace?"

& Our Bodies are the Battle Ground ... - Morwenna

Been thinking a lot about this lately. Ask yourself that question... are you are war or at Peace with yourself? Depending on the answer it could be showing up with how well you treat your body. As I reviewed a video tape last night of me in my bathing suit at 265 lbs, I can't help but think of how at war I was with who I was and with this body of mine. To be honest with you, watching myself now, I looked drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk on unhealthiness. I was in no way taking care of my body or my soul for that matter. The reason I was video taping myself was because I was just about to start Weight Watchers for the millionth (if that is even a word) time the next day and I wanted to document what I looked like in case I never was that weight again. Well, sadly that time was not the last time I would hit that weight and felt complete despair about trying to fight this war and losing over and over and over again.

I think of how many times we do go to war with ourselves and then turn to the food and use our bodies as the battleground. It's not fair. Our bodies don't have a fighting chance. As we get more and more unhealthy, we go deeper into our shame and many times just give up and surrender to what is. We are too afraid to pick up the weapons of war for fear we are going to get beat yet again and get thrown to the ground. How many times can we stand to go through this cycle? I know for me it took many battles and more battle wounds to finally say .. "Enough is Enough." I couldn't do it anymore. I would venture to say most of us are lying near dead on the battle field beaten down so many times around all this dieting. How about changing the way you look at it. Instead of thinking that you have to be on the defense.. you shift your way of thinking of being on the offense. Playing the offensive role you realize that you determine how the game is played. It's not what happens to you .. but more what you choose to create.

Your "WHY" has to be big enough. Why do you want to be in better shape? Why is it important to you to take care of this only body you been given? Ask yourself these questions. Are you finding yourself answering them to please someone else or are you wanting to take care of you.. for you? How many times do you fight for peace for everyone else in your life and not you? WHY???? WHY not you?? When you choose to go to War with your Body, ultimately you only hurt yourself. Yes it affects others but ultimately you are killing you. When you are not at your best, it makes it difficult to truly be there for those who you love around you. Stand up and take an active role in your life. It's a choice. You are willing or you are not.

Someone asked me today what the magic pill is that everyone is looking for.. I will tell you what I have found it to be.. ready...?? It's your willingness. Yes, I sound like a broken record but it's true.

Just like being at War, you gotta be willing to fight for the peace. The peace never comes unless you are WILLING to fight the fight. I will tell you I believe this war that we have created inside of us, will kill us if we let it. Be willing to pick up the weapons (Tools) and fight for Peace. It will come as you get into action. I know this because of my own experience.

I guess as I write this I am seeing two sides of this war concept. One being... are you always at war with your body.. treating it with such disrespect.. or are you putting your energy into fighting this WAR to create peace? There is a difference. The first way of looking at it in reality we become prisoners of War within ourselves. When we pack on the weight.. or even the mental weight, we put ourselves in bondage and that starts to restrict our abilities to live a life of total freedom. When we decide to stand for what we know is right, we use those same weapons to create peace. Which war are you fighting?

ACT NOW: Get your journals out and write about this war and which part do you play?  Are you at war to continue being at war or do you choose to go to war to create PEACE? Write as much as you can about this to go deep. The deeper you go, the more you will get out of it.  

Lost Generation

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"No Doubt About It... We All Want to Be Loved and Accepted!"

When we peel away the layers of our onion, we find the same needs across the board. We all seek to be loved and accepted by others. At what age in life did we begin to believe that we were not loved and not accepted? Who was it or what experience imprinted that faulty core belief in us? I know for me it had a lot to do with the fact I grew up in a family of over achievers. I wanted sooo badly to be like them but instead I felt rejected and unwanted. Now listen, when I look back on the family that I grew up in, I can't seem to see much wrong with any of them but as a child my reality was all messed up and I created some pretty horrible beliefs. These beliefs of mine affected how I saw myself and others in those informative years. I really did grow up with amazing siblings and given a lot of opportunities that others didn't get to have. So why did I feel so alone, unaccepted and not loved? Well, that is a good question. I guess when I had a few things happen like being pulled out of my so called "Normal" class in 2nd grade to attend a "Special" reading class, I decided right then and there that I was STUPID. With that kind of belief, nothing anyone else said to me mattered... it was blocked by what I now believed about myself.

So, as I was writing my story for my book, I realized what a HUGE impact this time of my life had on me. Here I was a 7 year old girl who just wanted to be loved and accepted by mostly my older brother who was a high school basketball star and I stunted my ability to find happiness because I didn't feel like anyone wanted me to be around. Looking back now what 16 year old kid wants his 7 year old sister hanging out with him and his popular basketball friends. It's sad really that I went to a place of darkness and even worse to an addiction to food to fill that void of just wanting to be loved and accepted.

Everyone in life deserves to be loved and accepted. It's part of who we are. Think about it, many times when we don't get that love as a child, we spend the rest of our lives seeking it.. almost begging for it from others through out our lives. I know for me up until recently I was unhealthy about it. I since have done a lot of work where I don't NEED that validation.. rather I appreciate it. There is a difference. I simply say "Thank you" to people when they compliment me when I used to always shy away from people saying nice things about me or I would crave for them to tell me more almost like my heart was an bottomless pit. Dealing with this part of who I am was almost more difficult than my food addiction. This is called love addiction and at times it is much more difficult to recover from but I am starting to see what recovery looks like. I am incredibly grateful to know who I am and know that no matter what anyone else says... I know my value. As I am healing from this love addiction,  it has helped me point out and love others in such a deeper way than I could have ever before.

I was talking to a new friend of mine tonight about the fact that it is sometimes soo hard to see our own light and how important it is to have great people in our lives that help bring our greatness out of us by them sharing what they see is our strengths. It's like we travel through life with blinders on. I couldn't have made it to this point without these so called angels of mine that have kept me going when I felt I couldn't see my own light.

ACT NOW: Take a few moments out of your day and look for a few people in your life who you know really need to hear that they are loved. Write a note, make a phone call or go visit them and let them know what a gift they are to you in your life. Look for their great qualities you see in them and share that with them. We all need encouragement and acknowlegement for the light that shines within us.

Monday, February 21, 2011


This is a blog entry from someone else's site that I wanted to share with you. If you would like the link to it click here. I guess I thought it was appropriate tonight to talk blog about loneliness because I feel all of us feel it at times. I am grateful to say as I work my program and as I have learned to stay connected with others, loneliness is not something I feel much anymore. Although when I was in my marriage, in my addiction and in my isolation, it was previlent in my everyday life. Some people would argue the fact that you can't feel lonely when you are married and I would beg to differ. For me almost from the very get go of our marriage, I went into isolation from just about everything and everyone that had meant something to me in my life. No wonder I packed the weight on even more. I believe I was just eating away all those feelings of guilt, shame, loneliness, and anger really. I actually found a video of me at my heaviest weight in my bathing suit that I took the night before I was going to start weight watchers. I will see if I can pull it off my tape and YouTube it. I was living it and I can't believe what I see.

Even though my husband at the time encouraged me to get out and spend time with friends. I didn't want to. There were a lot of reasons but I would say one of them is because I was ashamed at who I had become. I was in a lot of denial about my weight. It just kept creeping up the longer I was married. I wasn't sure what was going on at the time but now looking back I was eating my emotions and it was causing me to get bigger and bigger til I didn't recognize the girl in the mirror. Funny thing now is I am on the opposite spectrum and am  having to learn who I am now in this body I have today.

So.. I wanted to include this blog on loneliness because I believe it's a huge part of dealing with body image issues as well as weight problems. I loved how this is written and hope you enjoy. .......

Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise we hear. Yet often it’s a loneliness of our own making, almost like heart disease, diabetes and stroke which are largely self-inflicted diseases.

We long to be accepted, loved, cared for and held. We curse our timidity and other complexes that fence us in and keep us from touching others. We often feel like we are in a crowd, and no one understands our language.

We over-spend on beauty aids and stylish clothes. We desperately diet. We feverishly work out. We enroll in seminars and groups, hoping to remake our personalities. The intense self-absorption often results in a sleekly engineered person – much like our sleekly engineered foods – high on appearance, but empty of important values.

When we feel depressed, when our children rebel, when our jobs are threatened, when friends we’re losing our homes, we need friends who care. Without friends, it’s a short road to despair.

We also need friends as we struggle with bad habits and endeavor to change to a more wholesome lifestyle, and various others through various support groups, learning together how to live without their crutches. Persons who are changing their taste buds as well as their habits also need the understanding and encouragement of supportive people.

Reach out. Include stressed co-worker, or your distressed neighbor in your circle of friendship where comforting happens, and where affirmation flourishes.

How about your physician? your nurse? your priest or pastor? They, too, grieve and hurt, even as they heal other.

That’s how God works, through people touching other people, through friends reaching out to friends. Become a partner with God: busy yourself on His errands. As you minister to the needy and alienated around you, your own despair will begin to melt. Likewise, your own loneliness will begin to melt, and in its place, echoing joy will fill your void with peace and serenity.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

"Emotions are a Funny Thing" ... Oh and Men Have Emotions Too!

We all have many emotions we feel daily. It's always surprising to me to watch how we deal with them when we feel them. Some of us go into panic mode if we feel fear and some of us get conscious enough to not allow them to take us down. How do you deal with them? So back in the good old days of my life... I don't even think I thought twice about turning to unhealthy behaviors when I felt uncomfortable emotions. It was evident this last week when I was feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety that in the past I turned to food, watching tv, going to a movie, shopping among other things to avoid having to feel those feelings. Not that any of those things can't be healthy but for me they were ways for me to numb out. Now.. because of my choice to face these emotions head on it's a bit more scary AND I have come to realize that "This to shall pass." It's true, eventually I get feeling better and I get through it.

For my recovery writing lately, I have been writing on my own history of fear. I didn't realize just how much I made most of my decisions for why I did things out of fear. I don't do that much now only because of the work I have done around my life, but it still creeps in once in awhile. Fear is the opposite of faith and I am learning to really lean into my faith that God will provide the light I need on my path. Stepping into the dark can be scary at times and at the same time knowing that I am not alone has been what has kept me going.
We all have been given emotions for a reason. Accepting of them when they come can bring a lot of peace. For me it's been when I don't want to feel them or go into shame over me feeling them is when I get into trouble. Some may say that women are too emotional.. .I would say society allows space for women to express emotions but I would venture to say that men have an equal amount of emotions but  don't feel as safe to express it and to me that is a shame. If there is anything that draws me closer to a man is when he can show emotion regardless of what that emotion is. I do not judge the emotion.. rather I embrace his efforts in accepting that he has them. I have seen tooo often how men hold these emotions back because they don't feel safe or accepted. I intentionally do my best to create that open space where it's ok to be who they are and to feel what they feel. It's not mine to judge or tell them they should or should not being feeling what they do. My experience is men are starving for women to give them that space to feel safe to share openly.

As I look for just the right person to facilitate a men's retreat I am very sensitive to this subject of Men and their emotions. Sometimes I can hear that voice inside them that so badly wants to come out and speak authentically about this deep need they have to be loved and accepted too. It's not the same for them as it is for us women. We have outlets all over the place where we share our feelings and emotions and many times don't put any kind of healthy boundaries around who we share them with. Men.. where do they go to let it out.. to share and process. It's just not widely acceptable. I would love to see that change. They need healing as well.

You would think, what I have been through in my life I would have garbage around men but in fact because of the work I have done, I am in pure gratitude for men and for who they are. Men are unique in their own strengths and when we figure out what each other's roles are in a healthy way, I know we can share a beautiful life together.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

"Comparing Yourself to others is Deadly"

Talking to a new friend of mine today about this very topic. Comparing ourselves to others is by far one of the worst things you can do in damaging your spirit. For me, I have struggled my whole life doing that. I am sure it started when I was very very young. I was always comparing myself to others in ways like, if they were thinner, prettier, smarter, more popular, more acceptable and of course more worthy of everything in life. Because I didn't value myself I never thought I was ever going to be good enough. I watch people compare themselves to me as well. My success is what it is and it doesn't make a bit of difference to what someone else's experience is. It all comes down to accepting ourselves and our lives EXACTLY where we are. That's true gratitude. I am learning for myself we are equal and absolutely unique. It's embracing the uniqueness in ourselves and then sharing those gifts with the world.

A quote that has come to me the last couple of days is "Do your very best and let God do the rest!" This reminds me that I am not expected to be perfect. Even in my desires to want to compare myself to others. I am never going to be perfect at looking to others but boy have I come a long way. First off, we NEVER know what that other person is going through at any given time and we only end up hurting ourselves thinking they have it all together and somehow they are blessed and we have been punished. God knows each and every single one of our hearts and loves us all the same.

I am saddened to share that one of my sponsee's lost her brother to obesity last week. I called her today knowing she had attended the funeral and was wondering how she was doing. She expressed to me the great amount of guilt she felt for not sharing more of her recovery with him as she has lost a total of 70 lbs. I suggested to her that his choices were not her burden to carry. It's hard to watch our loved one's die from anything let alone obesity. I decided as I was out running yesterday, that I will be running this marathon for the fight against obesity. Even as I write that it's hard for me to admit that I was obese but the facts don't lie. I wrote a few emails to Michele Obama a couple of days ago. Not sure they will get to her but someone shared with me the other day her passion for doing something about obesity. I told her I wanted to connect with her and see what we could do. It's no laughing matter. We are literally, as a country, eating ourselves to death. This is preventable. My mission and vision in life is to spread the word that it is possible as we all come together and unite our efforts.

Another saying that came to me tonight was "Get out of your FAT brain and into your BIG Heart." I know I have mentioned this before but it takes time to clean out the FAT brain I have lived with so long. Talked to a lady today that lost 70 lbs and she told me that it took her 10 years to get rid of all the garbage she had going on in there. That made me feel like giving myself a bit of break. There really is FAT BRAIN thinking. I hear it when I talk to people and others help me recognize it in myself as well. The other night while I was dancing a guy shorter than me told me to jump so he could lift me above his head.. I  just about fell over thinking 'who does he think he is?' Yeah... well to him it was nothing.. to me it was everything. I had to jump and trust. See, my Fat brain was taking over thinking I was going to flattening him to the ground. I have to laugh at myself sometimes. I feel like a little kid discovering a whole new me.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Whitney Houston "I Didn't Know my Own Strength"

Some of you may not know but I was in a very abusive marriage for 7 1/2 years. This song came on while I was running this morning and it gave me such hope. This was one of the many songs that carried me through one of the darkest times of my life. I wanted to share it with you because it goes to show we all have it in us to make it through the tough times. I know because I have come through some pretty tough things in my life as have many of you out there have. Don't ever give up.. mostly don't ever give up on yourself. You are more powerful than you give yourself credit for being. I love this song because I KNOW Whitney knows this first hand because of what she has experienced in her life. It's not easy to get away from unhealthy relationships. It wasn't easy for me to take responsibility for my part in the abusive relationship and now it's time for me to start the real process of healing from it. I am grateful for the people in my life that will lead me down this road of recovery as it is part of my journey as well.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

"All the Answers You'll Ever Need are Right Inside of You!"

I was reminded of this yet again tonight as I was talking to a dear friend of mine. I keep trying to look to others to give me the right answers rather than trusting that I have all the answers inside of me. I think it comes from years and years of self doubt and fear. I know I can't be the only one that struggles from this. I keep having to remind myself as I develop my workshops and mentoring programs, to stay true to what I have gone through and as I do that, that is where I am most powerful. It's true. You get me talking about recovery, loving and accepting yourself, facing your fears and pushing through them, finding joy in the journey, goal setting and personal empowerment and my passion can't be hidden that is for sure. I just love being in my truth and as I stay in that place, is where I will be most inspiring.

As for this awesome picture above.. it's true as we remember just how "SPECIAL" we all are, we will find in us our unique and amazing qualities we all have. The coolest thing of all is no 2 of us are the same. It's crazy how that works. During my own journey, I have discovered the real Becky. The Becky I knew was inside but I was soo scared to stand in my uniqueness and embrace that part of me that shines. I think a lot of us struggle with that. Gosh.. I wish I could swing my magic wond and in a second have you see your brilliance as God sees you. I pray everyday that I may see people as God sees them and then as an instrument in God's hands, help bring that brilliance out of them. How do you put a label on that kind of work... for me I just call myself a Mentor. If anyone has any better title for it, please let me know.

I know now that I am special but not in the negative energy I put around the word special for many years. I didn't want to be special. I thought "Special" meant I was stupid. I am learning what my own unique qualities are and it's looking inside and taking a good look at the many gifts God has given me. It takes courage to find those gifts and then share them with the world.

A friend of mine and I were talking about this very thing today as we both agreed that our choice to go public with our stories is NOT the easy road. We could stay quiet and go on with our lives but we are choosing to make a difference in this world by giving back, by sharing the message of hope and by following where our hearts lead us to .. and our hearts lead us to you. You, the reader, that sometimes sits silently out there hoping to be inspired to the point where you can then have the courage to take positive action in your life. Well, I am telling you, there are soo many of us out here.. just waiting for you to ask for help. I love that I now surround myself with soo many people that have the exact same passion I have to make a difference and assist others to find the joy they have found. It's fun.. and exciting to be on this side of life rather than where we all came from.

As I was on one of my sponsee calls this morning the following quote came to me. "I create my own Life.. Life doesn't Create Me!" So dang true. You are influencing or being influenced by EVERYTHING that you choose to do. Might as well be proactive and Create your own life or someone else will.

ACT NOW: What answers are you seeking in your life right now that you feel you look to other's to answer for you? In what areas do you not trust yourself? If you have trouble with trusting others typically that is a sign you don't trust yourself. What scares you about trusting yourself? If you did trust yourself what would happen?  What are your special and unique qualities about you? How are you holding those qualities back from sharing them with others? Why are you holding them back? How is that serving or not serving you? What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?  (<--now that is a loaded question) I challenge you to get your journal out and answer these questions and see where it leads you.

I have found it very helpful while going through this process to answer questions such as these. It helps me process through how I am feeling about myself and others.

Haven't Forgotten about you all!!

Got stuck in a huge blizzard last night and couldn't post. Today has been a busy one as I am rolling out my workshop schedule and Personal/Wellness Mentoring Program. Be on the look out for my available times for Mentoring. If you are interested in coming to an event I am putting on, email me. As for One on One Mentoring, people are starting to sign up. I want to help those who are ready and willing to do what it takes to make some serious changes in their life this year as I have done the last couple years of my life. It's possible folks.. I have done it and I want to help you do it as well. It's not as hard as you think plus I will be there for you every step of the way. The way I mentor is with complete unconditional love and at the same time challenge you to reach your goals. Email me directly at or of course you can find me on facebook a lot of the time. Love to help where I can.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

"Have courage to be imperfect!"

"What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful!" I wish that I had said that but I pulled it from a video I watched tonight. Wow did I get a response to that posting on facebook tonight. I have to say, being vulnerable has been a HUGE challenge for me over the years. Being as young as I was when I started believing that I wasn't worth much, it caused me to hide a lot of my feelings. I had to look strong. No one could know my secret that I was keeping that I thought I was stupid. The funny thing is, I wasn't fooling anyone. People could see right through me even though I didn't think they could. Isn't that usually the truth? I have to say though that I still have fear around being vulnerable and being accepted by others. I'm not going to lie. As I step into this world of public speaking, it's a bit scary for me. I know my message is powerful and I know that I have real passion for what I have learned and in helping others but it's scary to think will I say the right thing? Will people be touched in a way that will bring them hope? Will people care what I have to say? In reality this isn't about me. It's about me being an instrument for God in helping others.

I almost just want to get up there and pull back my hair.. take my make up off and put on my sweats.. and sit down and REALLY connect with each and everyone of you. Look into your eyes and tell you how special you are and help you realize your incredible beauty. I wish I that message would have gotten through to me back then. I remember a time when I went to hug a gal who was my exact starting weight at 266 and I whispered in her ear, "You are NO different than anyone else in this room," and then I just held her in my arms as she broke down and cried. I remember feeling at that weight that I was different. Asking myself the questions, "Why can everyone else seem to figure it out but me?" I could feel her pain in the deepest part of my heart and at the same time I could sense she knew I knew what it felt like. We connected at that moment. That's what I want to do while I travel and speak from that place. As I travel and tell my story, I want to hold you, tell you that I love you and that I understand you. Finding my own beauty has not come over night. It has taken me being willing to get vulnerable and stepping out and doing things that I find quite scary to be honest with you. I am a pretty confident person and at the same time have a very tender side to me. I am learning that's ok.

Funny thing was the other night it was late and I had just gotten back from Salt Lake and as I did some mirror work I ended up teaching my 7 steps to FREEDOM from what's Weighing you down to myself in the mirror. I have to say .. I have some pretty powerful stuff to say. I know my message to the world is a powerful one. Contact me directly or click on the link to the left if you would like to contact me on the possibility of having me come and speak to your organization or work. My message and hope is needed throughout the country. We need each other's support to make lasting changes.

As I recorded my first section of my life vision today to music, it hit me hard just how powerful this technique can be. I am putting it to the test. It was beautiful to hear out of my own words these affirmations of who I am and what I will become. I could almost taste the victory of already accomplishing those things as I listened to it over and over again. I have been meditating daily for a couple of weeks to another ladies affirmations and when this concept was introduced to me to do it in my own voice, it took my affirmations to a whole other level.

Much of what we deal with when dealing with being overweight or having an unhealthy body image is this battle of negative self talk. Well.. I am telling you, if you don't intentionally start working on changing that inner voice, it will be an uphill battle in achieving your goals. Change yourself from the inside out and there you will find lasting results. So many of these diets out there.. are trying to change you from the outside in and from my own personal experience after working with many people one on one is we have got to address the core issues going on between your two ears. That FAT brain doesn't just go away, you have to reprogram it.

Monday, February 14, 2011

"Pushing through the Pain"

So this morning was a tough one for me for several reasons but the lesson I got was to endure and push through it. Life sometimes gets tough and it's in those moments that make us who we are. I am grateful that for today, I pushed through it and had the support around me to carry me through it. I believe life gives us opportunities to get stronger. Although what I was dealing with today was tough, it helped me to remember it had a purpose and that it is all part of the plan of stretching and growing.

As I am beginning this training for a marathon, I am seeing all these mind games I am playing with myself. My goodness. Just aware.. not good or bad just aware of the crazy thoughts I am having. I was talking to someone else that trains for races and he mentioned he had the same issues. What is it about training for a marathon that brings out all this garbage? By the way.. I am grateful for it because yet again it is giving me the opportunity to address this negativity and push through it.

So .. my philosophy is that because training for a marathon is very challenging, it brings out stuff in me that sometimes has been hidden. For instance, I just have noticed how many times this week as I have been running that I have wanted to give up. It's like my old self coming up again when I used to give into all that. I am a different person these days and learning to push through that and set mini goals for myself has helped me beat this negative thinking going on in my head. Each day I finish my allotted run distance, I feel amazing. I feel I have accomplished something. I feel I am getting stronger and on the days I feel weak, I pace myself.

It's interesting to me that I have decided to train for this marathon at this particular time in life because it's causing me to dig deep into my heart and soul to find the grit to NEVER GIVE UP. It's something I have had to learn to practice over and over again. I realized the other day when the thought came to me that it's my choice how fast or slow I go. I could choose the easy route at 3.5 miles an hour and yes.. I wouldn't sweat too much but I would be there all day .. or I could take the temporary pain and push myself between 5.5 - 6.5 and get things done quicker. My mind drifted in comparing that to life. It seems the people that are the most successful in life are the ones that are willing to take the plunge even though they know it will be painful because the rewards are much greater if they do. They move through life much quicker and in the same time are getting stronger. The faster you go, the higher heart rate you have which in turn strengthens your heart. We have to be willing to push ourselves in order to get that reward.

Something else that came to me was one thing they teach you when you run is to lead with your chest. What do we have in our chest is our HEART. Leading with our heart is vital. First we need to know what is in our heart.. and then learn to lead with it. As I lead with my heart it then put my feet behind me and allows me to get into the flow of running. It is all mechanics from that point on. Once I got in my groove.. I was able to get out of my head and enjoy the run. Getting out of my head in the sense.. I didn't care what speed I was going or if I should quit or how long I still had to go. It's soo interesting to me what thoughts are coming to me during this process.

I believe there are no accidents. It feels like this all came at the exact time I needed it to. Some of the places my life is taking off to are way out of my comfort zone. Being out of my comfort zone is going to allow me to stretch and ultimately be able to help others in a such a huge way. My deepest desire is to inspire others to love and accept themselves so that they can in turn take care of themselves in a way that they can breath life back into their souls and feel what life is like having felt peace. If that means, I get to step into the unknown and the uncomfortable.. then so be it. I am willing and as I am willing, God will support me.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

"Gift of being PRESENT"

What does it really mean to be present? Being present means you are not living in the past nor are you dreaming in the future. Well, all we have is the present. We NEVER get to have this moment in time back again. We get in trouble when you go back to what has happened in the past or try and control the future. That is living in fear. I used to live a lot of my life in that place. If anything went wrong in anyway, I would think my whole life was over. Now it's so beautiful to surrender to what is in life. If there is someone I want to connect with and it just doesn't happen, it's ok. It wasn't meant to be. I can't even describe how much peace that brings to me now. I used to want things to be different in my life. I didn't think in a million years I would be where I am today but surprisingly, it's the best place for me and my journey. You know I think a lot about "Finding Joy in the Journey." It is this concept of accepting things as they are and not trying to change them. I won't be the one to tell you just give into what life gives you because I don't think that way. There is a difference in surrendering to what life gives you and still staying focused in creating whatever it is that you want. I knew someday that I would figure out this weight problem of mine.. I just had no idea the "HOW" of it. Once I gave up the "How" and kept focused on the goal of looking for the answers, the answer did come for me.

Staying in the present for me means to find the gifts, the teachers and the precious moments. For instance, I am sitting here in my office listening to a beautiful song wrapping up my Sunday and heading to bed in must a minute. I am soo grateful for the peace I have in my life in this very moment, my friends who keep me grounded, for music that sings to my soul, for my warm home where I rest my head and for food in the fridge that gives me nutrients. As I work in staying present in every moment of life, I find it easier to stay out of fear and for what may or may not happen in the future or what has happened in the past.

ACT NOW: Get your journal out and make a list of the things in this present moment that you are grateful for. What are somethings that you can do to help you be present? For me, when I catch myself going into fear in anyway.... I say to myself .."For today..."  and then I start listing all the blessings I have. This takes a huge weight off and helps me show my gratitude for what I have been given. This grounds me and helps me realize I have no control over anything else but this present moment in time.

Friday, February 11, 2011

LifeVisions...Why are they so important?

As I spent the first day of a 2 day workshop with Kevin Hall, author of Aspire and Ann Webb, I can't help but get clear on what it is that I want out of my life. Being clear is vital to manifesting. I have so many different things going on in my life. I know my weight loss has brought me to a place where I have a great desire to give back and help others and in the process of finding my own path, I have come across soo many different opportunities. My greatest challenge now is to find what I am great at and go for it. I know for me I am excellent at working with people one on one in coaching them in getting what they want out of life. Whether that is weight loss, business, improvement in relationships, improvement in self care and self love and acceptance, I walk people through the steps I took to get the success I have. For the first time in my life I feel like I am in complete integrity working these steps on a daily basis myself. I believe in order to lead anyone I have to be walking the talk and like I said... I don't think there has ever been a time in my life like now where I have been able to say that. It's a true miracle to see where I have come from and where I am now. I always tell people that I work with that I can't do their work for them  but I can be the one cheering them on with unconditional love and acceptance. Most of the time that is what we all have searched for our entire lives is to have someone love us for exactly who we are RIGHT NOW. This whole process is about acceptance of self. We can't move forward without knowing where we are. "You can not change what you don't acknowledge."

My intention for taking the LifeVision workshop is to get crystal clear on my life's purpose. So far we have talked about what it is that we want spiritually and in relationships. I know for me these two areas of my life are very important to me and I plan on spending a lot more time really going deep with what it is I want in both of those areas. It's interesting when I ask people what they want out of life or in a relationship they often can tell me what they don't want but it's much more difficult for them to tell me what they DO want. Why is that? My guess is that we know the pain that comes from what we don't want but what you may not know is that whatever it is that you choose to focus on expands and if you focus on what you don't want you end up with more of what you don't want. I would venture to say also is we haven't given ourselves the permission to dig deep to figure out what it is that we want. Most people have no idea how to tap into that. Well.. good news me and other's are out here to help. I am seeing more and more people dedicating their lives and their professions to this very thing. When we are doing what we are passionate about my father always told me it won't feel like work. It's true.

ACT NOW: Start by making a list in your journal or a piece of paper with 5 areas of your life.. which are:


In each category list the things you DO want. Don't use any negatives in your language. Kevin Hall who is the word nerd would tell you there is a power in words and you NEVER want to have negative words in a place where you are trying to manifest. We want to keep everything in the positive. Just check yourself. Get as deep as you can. Keep writing until you can't write any longer. The other thing we talked about today is think BIG. This isn't a time for you to play it small. For me I NEVER in a million years thought I would be at my goal weight of 138 lbs but I am. If weight is one of your goals, be specific as to how much weight and put a "BY WHEN" on it. Get detailed because it matters... just be careful what you ask for!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Quick Thoughts

Because of my training for the marathon, I need to head to bed early enough to get up at 5am so I can't write much but I have been working on a blog entry about my running from yesterday. It's long but going to be good. As for today... something that has been on my mind is this idea of scarcity vs abundant. This mindset of scarcity has ruled me most of my life and it seems to be in a lot of people. Why is it that we are afraid to step out trust our brilliance within us? I know for me, it's taken time and at the same time I am soo grateful for the major shifts that have happened in my life that I see things differently.

2 days ago, I found out that I have another really serious break out of Candida. It's bad and it's been bad for about 2 months now. So my wonderful homeopathic doctor has got me on all kinds of stuff as well as has me now only eating 1 fruit a day. Because of the candida and the fact I just started my marathon training I have had to make some adjustments to my food plan. Back in the days.. I think I would  have freaked out about making any changes to the plan but today because of all the work I have done on my recovery.. it's no big deal. I just make the changes and check my results on Monday when I weigh in next. I LOVE THAT. It is going to take about 3 months for me to get this horrible candida out of my system. It wasn't until after I went hot tubing the other night and ended up in the middle of the night awake and scratching my back so badly did I finally get willing to go see my homeo (aka Homeopathic) about it. See.. it's just information to me that I still struggle with taking care of  myself especially when it comes to things like this.

Tomorrow I head to Salt Lake to do a 2 day workshop on LifeVision. This is where we get really clear on what we want to accomplish in our lives. I am sooo excited about all the many people who have been brought into my life that are great examples to me. I get to spend the next 2 days with 2 incredible people Kevin Hall and Ann Webb. I am very much looking forward to it.

So sorry I don't have my running blog completed but just thought I would check in the many of you that are reading this on a daily basis. You are all just amazing people. I have to admit when I hear from you whether it's in person, over the phone or email that you read my blogs daily it's kind of strange but I want you to know that writing this daily has been a great blessing to me as I know many of you struggle with the very same things I have for many years. All I desire is to share the message that there is hope and that each and everyone of you is unique in your own way and have a great purpose here on earth to accomplish.

My purpose came to me recently and I have to say that it's hard at times to stay focused on that purpose and not allow others to pull me off center. It's getting to the point that there are a lot of opportunities coming my way but I have to decide which ones are aligned with my soul purpose which is truly to inspire others. Thank you for reading.. thank you for allowing me to share my inspiration with you... thank you for having the courage to step out and make changes in your life.... thank you for being you!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

15 Questions... Am I a Compulsive Eater?

You know for many years, I had no idea what was wrong with me. I just knew that I had been on just about every diet in the world and beat myself up over the fact I could never get further than a few pounds of weight loss success until I had gained it all back and went back to my old habits. It was soo frustrating to me. I would try to diet and then at the first sign of not being perfect at it, I would give up and say to myself  'why try.. I can never keep this up.' What I know now is that it wasn't my job to fix. I turned  this problem over to God and realized he was way more powerful than i was at taking this obsession from me and sure enough I am a living walking testimony that this is true. God really did do for me what I was unable to do for myself. It's a true miracle. I see it everyday as I interact with people in my program. They all say the same thing. They NEVER in a million years thought this obsession over food would be lifted from them. Our obsessions our security blankets. The food became our best friend who took our pain away when we didn't want to feel it. How could we have ever lived without this best friend of ours? Many of us have carried around beliefs that if we feel any unpleasant feelings like anxiety, fear, anger etc and don't go to the food for relief that somehow we would die. Well, look at that.. of course if that is what we believe then it makes perfect sense why we don't give the food up. I still feel those feelings but now when they come, I turn to my program and make a phone call, do some writing, meditate or pray. I have realized that these feelings come to me for a reason and to teach me something and for years I stuffed them soo far down that I became numb.

Whether you struggle with overeating, bulimia or anorexia.. it's all the same thought processes. There is relief and recovery from these problems. Please know you are not alone and there is soo much help out in the world. Don't give up and think that you are different in that fact that these programs work for everyone else but you. You are no different from me. I am here to help .. as well as many others I can refer you to. Many of our stories may not be exactly the same but the feelings around unhealthy behaviors towards food are very similar. When you think you are somehow different and that nothing can work for you, you just keep yourself in denial about it which then keeps you from seeing the truth. The truth is, there is help and you CAN make the choice to take care of yourself. As I wrote about last night it takes you being willing to look at yourself and get real with what is.. and then make a choice RIGHT NOW to do things differently. It's that simple.

So I had someone call me today that has been reading my blog and she told me she wasn't sure if she was a compulsive eater. So here are the questions that we have people ask themselves when they are trying to determine if they have any unhealthy behaviors when it comes to compulsive eating.

1- Do you eat when you are not hungry?
2- Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
3- Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after eating compulsively?
4- Do you give too much time and thought to food?
5- Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
6- Do you plan these secret eating binges time?
7- Do you eat sensibly with others and make up for it when you are alone?
8- Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?
9- Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer) only to fall short of your goal and give up?
10- Do you resent others telling you to "use a little willpower" to stop eating compulsively?
11- Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet on your own whenever you wish?
12- Do you crave to eat at a definite time day or night, other than meal time?
13- Do you eat to escape from worried or trouble?
14- Have you ever been treated for obesity or food related conditions?
15- Do your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

"The Key to Success is Your WILLINGNESS"

Willingness. Did I even know what that really meant before I started my journey into recovery?? That would be a big FAT (No pun intended) NO! For me I couldn't progress at all in my life if I wasn't willing. The day my friend asked me to attend a 12 step meeting for the first time I was barely willing to go and begged my husband at the time to go with me because I wasn't about to do this alone.

See, in the past I NEVER responded well when people told me to do anything. If it wasn't my own idea, I would stomp my foot down and say 'NO WAY,' literally. Even as a child if you look through my school papers where I used to doodle all day long, I would write hundred of times over..  'NO WAY,' that's how much I hated people telling me what to do . Not to say I am perfect at it now but I have come a long way where now I am a lot more humble and 'willing' to take counsel from those around me. I guess it has everything to do with being teachable. How often in our lives do we have the 'my way or the highway' thinking? I know that has been me up until the last 2 years.

When I finally turned my will over to God and let him take over and help me with this weight problem did I ever find peace. I learned to take care of myself and that I was important. Up until this point, I felt as though throwing myself under the bus was a noble thing to do and something people looked up to me for. What I didn't realize was I didn't know who I was enough to even care to take care of myself in any healthy manner. I now come from a place knowing who I am and always making sure that I am giving myself the love that I need in a healthy way. It is soo important to me now that I am constantly checking in with myself and where I am at. This is all new to me and at the same time, I love knowing who I am and watching me stand for what's important to me. Talk about self discovery. I love it. I am quite fascinating. It's like meeting a new friend and discovering what they are like for the first time.

See.. I had to get willing in many areas of my life to make this major shifts. It took me being willing to be sponsored, listen to counsel, weigh and measure my food, make my calls, attend my meetings, do my writing, now exercising, do service and give back to others and work my program. If that one element of 'willingness' wasn't there, I wouldn't have gotten any of the results I have.

So how do you get willing? That is a really really good question. I don't have the magic answer to that. I guess for some people your life has to get soooo bad that you can't stand it anymore. For some people it's the constant .. trying and failing over and over and over again that finally gets them willing to try ONE LAST TIME. I hear it all the time that people had just hit rock bottom and when they heard all these amazing success stories, it gave them hope to try one last time. For some people failure is not an option. They can't give up and if they do, they will die.

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine in the program that has really struggled back and forth with her weight for years. We were talking about willingness and her comment was that willingness just boils down to your choice. You choose to be willing or NOT. By the way.. it's ok to not be willing.. it just means that you continue down the road that you are on. Until you decide you want something different and get willing to take care of yourself, will you truly start seeing a shift in your life. It's really that simple.

Again the example of me and my willingness to start training for this marathon. It took me a long time but when I FINALLY got willing to do it, the shift happened in a split second. I don't feel that resistance I have had for 2 years.. instead I feel a commitment to taking care of myself and scheduling the time to work my training schedule.

ACT NOW: Make a list of those areas in your life you have been unwilling to change. Pick one.. you heard me.. JUST ONE .. and make a choice RIGHT NOW to get willing to do something different and healthy around it. One other thing that has really helped me is to share it with someone else. Being accountable to someone if VITAL to your success... at least that is what I have experienced. There is a reason I post on Facebook that I am training for my marathon. I am now accountable to a LOT of people and that helps me stay dedicated to the goal I set for myself. When I want to give up.. I know others are rooting for me and are looking for me to accomplish the goals I set out for myself.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

"TODAY is the first Day of the rest of your Life"

So, today on the radio we talked about this fact that "TODAY is the first day of the rest of your life." It's true. We make life altering decisions in a split second.

I remember sometime ago last year a friend of mine was going through a particularly difficult time. She turned to me and said, 'These things take time to get over." I had watched her struggle for quite sometime so I said back to her, 'If you say so.' At first she didn't want to hear that but eventually she saw the truth in that statement and shifted. How many times do we not want to look at what's holding us back from what we want the very most in life? We think that life is just the way it is. I am here to tell you .. NO.. Your life is the way it is because you created it that way. Are there unfortunate things that happen .. sure but we choose how we react to it. When you start taking responsibility for your life, you now have all the power in the world to CHANGE IT.  We are the ones that put limitations on ourselves... so decide to STOP that TODAY.. right this second.  

For instance, I have been talking about running another marathon since last summer. I have struggled wanting to get back into running because of my past experience. Well, my past experience is based on me being 227 lbs and in the food. I am a totally different person and I was allowing that old stuff to keep me stuck. I am now 89 lbs lighter than that now and will have a completely different experience. You see how that makes no sense? So I made a split second decision the other day that I was just going to do it and print off a training schedule and get into action to completing this next marathon. I start my training tomorrow morning.

When you sit and stew over SOMEDAY.. I will start a diet. or SOMEDAY .. I will clean my house or SOMEDAY.. I will take care of myself.. SOMEDAY.. never comes! It's today .. and today only that you have. Decide right now to make the decision to make a change. THE TIME IS NOW! This is the reason I made my tag line as it is.. "Why Weight...ACT NOW!" If you never get in positive action, you will NEVER get the positive results you are looking for. If I could sit down with each and everyone of you and share with you my story in detail and how I did it, you would realize that it wasn't rocket science. My decision to make a major shift in my life didn't come from months and months of prep thinking to get there, it took ONE SECOND .. a split second decision to work a program today. For me it was the 12 step that worked... for you, it maybe something else.

I am finding the very same process with the many people I am connecting with all over America that have accomplished this same result of losing massive amount of weight naturally. It's NOT as hard as everyone is making it out to be. Sure, you do have to put some effort into it but think of the effort you are putting towards living an unhealthy life as well if that is where you are right now.

I don't know if you can tell but .. I am very passionate about this. With love of course and knowing what it's like to be in a place of total despair thinking I have tried everything out there and there must be something wrong with me. I don't know if that is what you are thinking but I remember feeling that way when I saw that other people had done it.. why can't I. I sometimes can't hardly even believe that I am where I am because I have dreamt about living this life for as long as I can remember and now it's like waking up joyful every single day because I FINALLY have peace around who I am. I love that I care soo much for others and that I seek to inspire in such an authentic way.. it is what drives me to serve. I am learning to love unconditionally.. regardless of your choices. I just stand as an example and fellow struggler. People that I work with have given me feedback that they really appreciate that they know I will love them regardless. That brings joy to my heart because there was a time in my life where I held A LOT of deep judgements towards others. Really what it was were my own deep judgements of myself that I had to heal. Once I did that then I was open to giving that love to others. It's a beautiful thing. Every single one of us wants to be loved and accepted. What I have discovered is it starts inside of me.

When I coach people, I help guide them to make decisions and then allow them to set the "BY WHENs do you want that completed?" This is your life.. not mine. I just help you get out of life what you want.

I had to believe in TODAY and had to be willing to work a program TODAY. That's it. I can't think about tomorrow or try and change the past. If you don't work with me.. work with someone. Find someone who you trust and who has what you want and then have them coach you or mentor you. Ultimately it comes down to you making a choice. It's as simple as that.

I have coaches and mentors in my life. I set myself up for success surrounding myself with people that have what I want and have figured it out. It keeps me reaching and stretching.

ACT NOW: Get your journal out or a piece of paper. Write down one thing (promise me you only right ONE thing) that you want to change in your life and if you changed that one thing in what ways would that positively impact your life? Get someone who you can share that with and create a plan to check in with them regularly. I check in daily at the same time to my support. My call to her is structured so I return and report on what I did the following day. We review the gratitudes as well as those things I need to work on. It keeps me accountable. "When you fail to plan.. you plan to fail." ACT NOW and make a decision to change for good. YOU CAN DO IT! Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you as well. I am here for you.. cheering you on!!

Friday, February 4, 2011

"That was EASY"

As I took my sponsee calls this morning it was evident to me how important it is to get to the very root of our beliefs. So for instance if so if you say to yourself, 'it's "HARD" for me to take care of myself,' than God says back ... 'As you wish!' Another one.. if you say .. "I HATE to exercise ," than... God Says .. "As you wish.' It's vital that you take a look at those messages that you have in your mind because....

Thoughts---> Feelings ----> Actions = RESULTS

What you store in your thoughts will always turn into your results. So if you want to make a change in your life.. check your results and work your way back and find the core thoughts or believes that are driving the negative results. So here is another way of taking that first example and turning it to working to your benefit.

It's "EASY" to take care of myself and hold healthy boundaries with others.
It's "EASY" for me to take care of my body by exercising.
It's "EASY" to attract and maintain healthy relationships into my life.

And if you are really having a difficult time with something add REALLY in front of the "EASY."  Trust me.. it works.

So.. take for instance what most people say about losing weight. I am sure you have heard people say ... "it's hard to lose weight." Well.. if you say so. Does losing weight take effort? Yes.. but think of the amount of effort you put into maintaining the unhealthy lifestyle. I used to spend thousand and thousands of dollars on fast food, on higher insurance premiums, junk food and not to mention the amount of energy I put towards thinking about what I was going to eat next. I used to think.. 'Why is it that I have no problem eating the same junk food over and over and over again when I could put that same energy into healthy food over and over and over again.' I couldn't figure it out. Both lives take effort. Being healthy takes being aware and a place of acting where as being unhealthy usually means that you are being reactive. I am serious when I say that losing weight is not as difficult as you may think it is. All the drug companies and diet plans out there want you to think it's HARD and that you have to rely on them or their diet plan to do it but let me tell you, I am connecting with people from all over the country right now that have lost over 100 lbs that haven't used any form of diet pills or surgery to do it. I am living testimony of this. It MATTERS how we think of things. I feel like a broken record when I keep quoting....  "Change the way you look at things and the things that you look at change."

Whatever it is that you find yourself saying is difficult in your life.. turn it around and first change the energy you put around it and see if you don't feel a difference. I know for me it has been a great blessing for me to use this tool. I have my EASY button right here next to me in my office among a lot of other tools that I will be writing about in my book.

For me the tools I use to work my "7 steps to FREEDOM from what's WEIGHing you Down," have been essential to my success. I will share them with you and again take what works for you and leave the rest. Some of the tools I have in my tool box of life I use more than others just because they mean more to me. This concept of a toolbox came into my life when I hired a now very good friend of mine. We only worked together for a few months but within that time, she taught me so many foundational lessons for my life.

I came into work one day to find a few monkeys hanging around my office and a bunch of transformers. I asked her what it all meant. She proceeded to tell me how the monkey's were all about hangin in there and the transformers were to represent the fact that I was going through a lot of transformation in my life. I still have those monkeys that I have hung up in my place. When I see them, they remind me of what I have been through to hang in there one day at a time.

ACT NOW: Get a piece of paper and write down a few things that you are having a hard time getting done. This could be exercising, a certain project, a relationship that you are avoiding, or simply taking care of yourself. Write down the message that you are telling yourself about that then turn it around. Start the sentence off with .. It's "EASY" for me to... and then finish the sentence in a positive way. Repeat it a couple of times til it really sinks in. Some people think this kind of stuff doesn't work and I say.. "As you wish." Try it and let me know how it goes.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

12 Step Program

So my 12 Step program consists of 7 tools that I use every single day.

1. Weighing and Measuring my food (In many ways... I weigh and measure my life)
          I commit my food for the day, stay committed to it and do not deviate from it.
2. I do program Reading and Writing
3. Practice anonymity - Meaning I don't talk about anyone else and their program. I don't gossip.
4. I call 4 people a day in program. One is my sponsor and make 3 other calls to other people in the program.
5. I attend 3 recovery meetings a week.
6. I practice service. Staying abstinent and working my program is the greatest service to myself.
7. I am willing to be sponsored and I am a sponsor to others in the program.

When I first started this program that was a lot for me to add into my life. After awhile it's part of my life like anything else. I am not perfect everyday but do my best to get it all in. A good indication for me to know if I am healthy or not is if I look at these 7 tools as a burden or that I "HAVE" to do it..vs these 7 tools being a blessing and a I "GET" to do them. It does make a huge difference for me and is a good gauge for me to know where I am. I am soooo grateful for these tools because as I have put them into my life and worked the program I have gained a tremendous amount of peace in my life that I had never known before.

So I usually do my writing at night before I head to bed and try and make my calls during the day at some time. This 12 Step program I do is a world wide organization and so there are a lot of people I call and connect with that I have never met. To me it's a great support to connect with other people who have struggled with the same compulsive eating patterns. It helps keep me out of my isolation. When I was in the food, I wanted to hide. I didn't want anyone to ask me what I was eating. In fact, after working with a personal trainer twice a week for 2 1/2 years, she asked me about what I was eating. I hadn't lost weight after all that time, I had in fact gained a TON of muscle and got very strong. She was trying to figure it out and finally decided to ask about my food and right there in the middle of the men's section of the gym I broke down in tears. My husband at the time came over and asked me what was wrong. I told him I didn't want anyone asking me about my food. See.. at the time my food was serving the purpose in the fact that it was my comfort. When I felt my whole life falling apart I knew I could always rely on it being there. I couldn't imagine what it would be without it and I wasn't about to give it up. Interesting enough though I spent thousands of dollars and several hours in the gym so it at least look like I was making an effort at losing the weight. I never wanted to look like I had given up. 2 1/2 years is a long time to go keeping up on that kind of workouts to not have any weight loss results. I was sabotaging myself just as I had done many times before. Obviously, my unhealthy habits around the food was the answer, I was just unwilling to look at it at that time.

Now I almost have the opposite issue. My food it perfect but I don't work out much. I know what my hang up is which is I am afraid if I workout I will get hungry and I don't want to get hungry. Typically in the past when I workout, I workout hard which yes the body needs more food to rebuild itself. That is where my all or nothing thinking comes into play. I need to find a balance with that as well. I am asked the question a lot from people if I worked out hard while losing the weight and my answer is always no. I did some walking... occasional running and weight lifting but nothing like I was doing before. I believe one reason I got such good results with the weight loss and don't have a ton of extra skin is because of those 2 1/2 years of hard work I put in. Don't get me wrong, I am not one to say ..."Don't exercise," I  just know for me what my hang up is and when I am ready to take that on, I will.

I want to set a goal to run my second marathon this year. Although this time I would be running it with 90 lbs less weight on me, I know what it will take to train, so we will see. It's amazing to me now when I run how awesome it feels. The inside of my legs don't rub against each other, I feel like I am running on clouds and I am never out of breath. I love it.

Since I lost 130 lbs I reapplied for my life insurance to have them lower my premium. It's been a bit of a process and finally after they took my new weight, took blood and urine, I got word back that I was given the very highest rating that New York Life had to offer. Both my agent and I rejoiced in how far I had come. When I first started this program, my hormones were all out of wack and I was not in good shape. Now, to have the tests come back with all my hormone levels PERFECT.. is a true miracle. This is not just my story. There are many people here locally that have gotten off medications and lowered their cholesterol. Doctors are really interested in what we are doing. It just goes to show what we choose to put in our body has a HUGE affect on all these symptoms we suffer from.

I remember asking someone on one of my outreach calls what she had noticed most about being in this 12 step program and she answered, "The clarity of mind." I couldn't agree more with that. Since I got the sugar and flour out of my system and started working on the core of what got me into the food, I have truly seen a HUGE difference in the way I think and see the world now. I had no idea that the food I was eating was affecting me as badly as it was. I don't think I had EVER experienced being this clear because even when I was dieting in the past I would allow myself the sugar a couple of times a day and now I can see how that kept me in the fog.

So..not everyone is going to need to do a 12 step recovery program. It is exactly what I needed. The best thing about it is I didn't do it alone. I always felt like it was my job to tackle this on by myself instead now I see how important it is to include God in this recovery process. God is the ultimate source who has all power and I know that without Him, I would have never been able to finally get out of the food and feel the amount of peace I do in my life now.

Here are the 12 Steps I work

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over food-that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Step 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive eaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Typical Day in the life of Becky Sampson

Someone asked me to blog on a typical day of mine so here goes. I work for myself these days developing  things like my book, my speaking career, my workshops and retreats and my personal coaching. Some days when I am really working intentionally on creating my content, I spend quite a bit of time meditating to music.. with my vision board and sometimes just pure silence. All of which get me connected to my source which is God to get direction as to the next right step for me.

A typical day of mine begins at 5:30 am when I start getting sponsee calls from people in my 12 step program. I allow 15 minutes for each sponsee and during this time they commit their food to me and then read me their writings and then if we have any time left over, we talk about things that they may be struggling with or set daily goals. The calls are fairly structured. I find that that helps both of us stay focused and on track. I like to ask if they have one thing they would like to get done that day or something they want to work on. It helps start the day off with intention. I take calls from sponsees til 7:30 when at which time, I call my own sponsor and commit all my food to her and read my daily writing to. Then once I get off the phone with her, I eat breakfast.

Breakfast typically consists of a protein (2 eggs.. or 1 egg 1 oz cheese or I will make a smoothie with 4 oz milk, 4 oz of yogurt and 1 cup frozen fruit) I then have 1/4 cup of raw oat bran with 1/2 cup of water and then add 1 tsp of butter. Yum... can I just say... "I love my breakfast!!"

Lunch I have another full protein, a fruit and I weigh out 16 oz of veggies. A lot of the time for lunch if I am patient that day, I make my favorite butternut squash fries. OH. my .. they are my favorite.

Before and after  - BUTTERNUT FRIES
Spray the pan with olive oil spray and then also on top and then salt them with Sea Salt. I put them on the top oven rack and then cook them for about 45 minutes in a 500 degree oven. You will want to watch them carefully to make sure they don't burn to badly. They are by far one of my favorite things to eat. Gotta be patient.. but they are definitely worth it!

Dinner I have another full protein which consists of 4 oz of chicken, 16 oz veggies, a grain and 2 TLBS of ranch dressing.

Over the last couple of years I have come up with some really awesome recipes and have made them for many of my friends. Even my cute little neighbor kids LOVE to eat what I make them. I don't eat any sugar and flour. If I have either one of those things, it causes me to want more.. so I stay away from all of it.

I will be working on putting together a series of little cooking shows on how to make the meals I do. I have to say I eat a lot of food. A friend of mine who is over 200 lbs was eating a meal I made him one night and turned to me part way through the meal and told me he couldn't finish it because he was stuffed. With me being the size I am now, he was surprised, as most people are, that I could finish it and without feeling stuffed. I guess I am just used to the larger amounts of food I eat. The belief that you have to starve yourself in order to loose weight is such a lie. There have been many times I have been in a meeting where someone in our group has mentioned how grateful they are for the amount of food they get to eat on this program and how they no longer have these crazy cravings for food. It's a great blessing of the program. If you want more information on the specific program I am working, please email me. I can't give that information out publically because of the anonymity of the 12 step but if you email me I would love to share with you the FREE program I am working. Email me at

I think the key for me is that I commit the exact amount of food I am going to eat to my sponsor in the morning and just eat what I say I am going to eat and get on with my life. I didn't realize before I got into recovery, how much I thought about food. Food consumed me and took up most of my thoughts during the day. It's amazing now to not feel hungry and to not have cravings. I was so used to always craving things that I couldn't stop myself from eating and I am grateful that that compulsion has been lifted from me. Never thought it was possible until now. I feel .. so called "Normal." I just have to remember that I am one bite away from being back in the food so I work my program one day at a time.

For me having a plan and being willing to stick to the plan has brought me so much peace. For me I FINALLY found answers to what was going on with me that caused me to go up and down for years with my weight and my many attempts at different diets trying to find what was going to work. This 12 step program that I have been with for almost 2 years now has TOTALLY changed my life. It is very little about the weight and very much about spiritually healing from what caused me to compulsively overeat to begin with. I thank God everyday that I am not in the food and that food no longer rules me.

I have been at my goal weight since June 2010 and now am maintaining a weight of 138 lbs. It's a MIRACLE to me that I along with God I have been able to do this. I take this one day at a time and with that kind of mindset my one day has turned into two and then three and now almost 2 years. You know I would venture to say that most of us have lost a lot of weight over the years, if we were to add it all up. For me I know that's true. The tricky part of it all is the maintaining the weight loss. Because I have now dealt with the root cause of my compulsive eating and have a sure plan, I have set myself up for success. I will be posting soon my "7 Steps to FREEDOM from what's WEIGHing you down," which will give the 7 steps I took to gain the success I did.

Other things I do I on a daily basis is do a lot of writing, whether that is on my blog or recovery writing. I commit each day to do reading in my recovery literature and to answer questions. This helps me stay focused on my program and out of the food. I also pray, connect with other people working the same 12 step program I am working and sponsor. I also, while listening to piano music, go over my vision board. This helps me stay aligned with my goals and my dreams. All of these things keep me engaged and connected rather than isolating me which is what I used to do when I was into the food. I can't say I am perfect everyday but I do my best. My program is VERY important to me and the it brings me great peace as I work it to the best of my ability.

I end my day with prayer and meditation. Lately I have been doing a hypnosis series with affirmations. I love how it centers me and prepares my mind for a good night's rest. I sometimes fall asleep during the meditation but I don't worry too much about it since my subconscious is still listening. I always remember to thank God for the many blessings He gives me. The more I acknowledge him for everything I have, the more I see His hand in everything I do.

Then I get up the next morning and do it all over again. It amazes me though how each day is different in its own special way. I can't believe how quickly I am moving through this path that I am on. I am constantly shifting and I believe it's because I am open to being taught. I am open to allowing myself to receive and God is pouring down His blessings and direction. My job is to just stay open to receiving and then be willing to act on the promptings and that is what I am doing and dang it .... I am having a blast.