Thursday, March 24, 2011
"In .. Total Humility and Gratitude"
After talking to a good friend of mine tonight, I am realizing how valuable I am and that I deserve to have nice things such as massages, pedicures, my hair done, nails, to pay full price for clothing. That is a HUGE one for me. Although some of these things I have started doing for myself but when it came to me paying full price for nice quality clothes, my mind came to a screeching halt. I just can't seem to get through the hump of thinking I am worth that. So.. I couldn't help but realize what my stretch is for tomorrow. I get to go and allow myself to be served at Dillards. I get to not look at the price tag and just enjoy trying on clothes that fit me and that make me feel like a million dollars and then walk out of the store knowing it wasn't about the money. In so doing I get to bless someone else that looks forward to serving me as well as the people that created the designs of all the clothes. I will tell you... to some people this might not seem like a big deal.. to me this is HUGE DEAL. It's time for Becky to be Becky and to accept Becky for the Beautiful, Powerful woman that I am.
Where would I be if I didn't have AMAZING friends who remind me often these days that I am worth all of it. Not just some of it... but ALL of it. When I am in the mindset of Scarcity, I cut off all possibility to abundance. God is abundance. He wants me to feel beautiful, he cares that I take care of myself.
Something else that I have been holding onto for several years are large bags of baby clothes that I have been collecting from garage sales and such. Hoping that someday I would have a baby and also feeling that I wouldn't have the money I needed to buy them when the time comes. So here I have carried these clothes around for years and am stopping the flow of abundance. My friend helped me see that it's in the giving that I truly receive so I have decided to pull out all the baby clothes and toys etc that I have been storing and give them to people in our community that are in need of those items right now. I told him.. I felt that someone tonight was praying for these things and I am feeling drawn to finally give them up. In doing this, I don't feel like I am giving up the hope of ever having a child but rather allowing the energy of abundance to flow through me to bless others who are in need.
Isn't that how the world works? For me .. I am in such a state of humility right now that I am willing to do whatever it is that God wants me to do because no matter what I know he will provide. It comes down to the trust that I have developed with Him that allows me to do these things.
So.. wish me luck as I step into this world of abundance by allowing myself to be pampered and served through clothes, massage and personal pampering. In order for me to truly teach this to others, I need to walk through my own door of abundance to know first hand what it feels like to honor the true woman that I am.