Saturday, March 19, 2011

"I SEE YOU, Because I KNOW YOU..Because I AM YOU!"

I can't even begin to tell you the healing that I have experienced in the last 24 hours. Several times this week I have been up very very late into the night working on several things. As many of you know, I sponsor people and my calls start at 6:15 am so needless to say, I am pretty raw but maybe that is PERFECT for me right now. I find myself in a place of a lot of humility. I just cried from the deepest part of me as I work through my own forgiveness. I can't even explain the incredible amount of freedom and joy I feel as I release yet another HUGE block from my aching heart.

Last night I had a conversation with a friend of mine where I KNOW for a fact that God has brought us together to help heal each other. My issues with trusting men.. and his issues with trusting women. Let me clarify that this is NOT about romance....sexual attraction etc. This is about soul to soul connection. We all have people in our lives that play an important role in our journey of healing. Last night was one of the most amazing experiences and gifts I have ever had in my life and at the same time it showed me that I have a gift bigger than I ever imagined in helping others HEAL.

So I took this friend through a process of discovering who he is. Mind you this was all over the internet and I began to cry.. he began to cry and together we walked through this journey of connecting and healing. We all have things in our lives that hold us back. Each one of us also has angels that are places upon our path of life that are there to hold your hand through it all. I am realizing that what I thought was true about men really isn't. What I thought was true about myself.. wasn't. There is goodness in ALL people if we choose to see it. I had to SEE God in myself before I could SEE God in others. Once I got to that point, I can't help but share what it is that I see in others. What happened last night was pure.. love! I am realizing that most men have never been given the permission to feel and express emotion. It's never been accepted and at the same time they are no different than women. Me standing in my own feminine energy giving him the safe space to let things go was EXACTLY what he needed. To both of us we played the roll of past relationships. I may not ever get a chance to go back and heal what damage I have caused however, God has put people in my life to help me give back and energetically heal that part in others that have experienced similar trauma. It was beautiful this process of healing. When he expressed to me how much it meant for him to be allowed to be vulnerable and raw and authentic, I knew I was also living my life's purpose. As I have looked back on my own journey and the men who have crossed my path, there have been several of them where I have found this to be a common experience. When I was married I was scared, I didn't dare be vulnerable for fear of being continually hurt over and over again. Really it had nothing to do with him and more to do with me not trusting myself.

See for many years I was that wife that put my husband down, would constantly be pointing out the fact that he was a failure. Looking back now, I didn't know how to stop the cycle all I knew was I was scared and didn't have the answers. Like I said earlier, I can't go back and change what happened... I can hand that pain over to God and let Him do the healing. I am soo grateful for that knowledge and faith that God will heal it. I know how much he has healed my own heart.

  • Tonight I had the opportunity of SEEing my little neighbor girl who is 4 years old. Every once in awhile there comes an opportunity where I have a chance to connect with my little angel. Tonight she asked me if we could light the candles in my bedroom. Usually that creates a safe space for us to connect in a very sweet way.  So sure enough, she helped me light the candles, we turned off the lights and turned on the Josh Groban. As we layed on my bed with my canopy above us, her with her little head nestled on my arm and her blanky over us, I began to tell her what I saw in her while brushing my hands through her hair. She wasn't as quite and calm as she usually is. It almost seemed as though she was trying to avoid having to hear what I had to say to her. All of a sudden she stops me mid sentence and asks me about my contract on my wall. She wanted to know what it was. I read it off to her since she is too young to read it herself. I then helped her come up with her own. I taught her how important it is that she knows who she is so in that moment of time we came up with .. "I am a Beautiful, Loving, Caring girl!" She caught on quickly and then it came time to record. Here is her saying it while I was filming.

Well.. today has been a great day! Everyday I write my gratitude's and just thank God for absolutely EVERYTHING he has given me. I hope you do the same.

No comments:

Post a Comment