"Have courage to be imperfect!"

"What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful!" I wish that I had said that but I pulled it from a video I watched tonight. Wow did I get a response to that posting on facebook tonight. I have to say, being vulnerable has been a HUGE challenge for me over the years. Being as young as I was when I started believing that I wasn't worth much, it caused me to hide a lot of my feelings. I had to look strong. No one could know my secret that I was keeping that I thought I was stupid. The funny thing is, I wasn't fooling anyone. People could see right through me even though I didn't think they could. Isn't that usually the truth? I have to say though that I still have fear around being vulnerable and being accepted by others. I'm not going to lie. As I step into this world of public speaking, it's a bit scary for me. I know my message is powerful and I know that I have real passion for what I have learned and in helping others but it's scary to think will I say the right thing? Will people be touched in a way that will bring them hope? Will people care what I have to say? In reality this isn't about me. It's about me being an instrument for God in helping others.

I almost just want to get up there and pull back my hair.. take my make up off and put on my sweats.. and sit down and REALLY connect with each and everyone of you. Look into your eyes and tell you how special you are and help you realize your incredible beauty. I wish I that message would have gotten through to me back then. I remember a time when I went to hug a gal who was my exact starting weight at 266 and I whispered in her ear, "You are NO different than anyone else in this room," and then I just held her in my arms as she broke down and cried. I remember feeling at that weight that I was different. Asking myself the questions, "Why can everyone else seem to figure it out but me?" I could feel her pain in the deepest part of my heart and at the same time I could sense she knew I knew what it felt like. We connected at that moment. That's what I want to do while I travel and speak from that place. As I travel and tell my story, I want to hold you, tell you that I love you and that I understand you. Finding my own beauty has not come over night. It has taken me being willing to get vulnerable and stepping out and doing things that I find quite scary to be honest with you. I am a pretty confident person and at the same time have a very tender side to me. I am learning that's ok.

Funny thing was the other night it was late and I had just gotten back from Salt Lake and as I did some mirror work I ended up teaching my 7 steps to FREEDOM from what's Weighing you down to myself in the mirror. I have to say .. I have some pretty powerful stuff to say. I know my message to the world is a powerful one. Contact me directly or click on the link to the left if you would like to contact me on the possibility of having me come and speak to your organization or work. My message and hope is needed throughout the country. We need each other's support to make lasting changes.

As I recorded my first section of my life vision today to music, it hit me hard just how powerful this technique can be. I am putting it to the test. It was beautiful to hear out of my own words these affirmations of who I am and what I will become. I could almost taste the victory of already accomplishing those things as I listened to it over and over again. I have been meditating daily for a couple of weeks to another ladies affirmations and when this concept was introduced to me to do it in my own voice, it took my affirmations to a whole other level.

Much of what we deal with when dealing with being overweight or having an unhealthy body image is this battle of negative self talk. Well.. I am telling you, if you don't intentionally start working on changing that inner voice, it will be an uphill battle in achieving your goals. Change yourself from the inside out and there you will find lasting results. So many of these diets out there.. are trying to change you from the outside in and from my own personal experience after working with many people one on one is we have got to address the core issues going on between your two ears. That FAT brain doesn't just go away, you have to reprogram it.