You know for many years, I had no idea what was wrong with me. I just knew that I had been on just about every diet in the world and beat myself up over the fact I could never get further than a few pounds of weight loss success until I had gained it all back and went back to my old habits. It was soo frustrating to me. I would try to diet and then at the first sign of not being perfect at it, I would give up and say to myself 'why try.. I can never keep this up.' What I know now is that it wasn't my job to fix. I turned this problem over to God and realized he was way more powerful than i was at taking this obsession from me and sure enough I am a living walking testimony that this is true. God really did do for me what I was unable to do for myself. It's a true miracle. I see it everyday as I interact with people in my program. They all say the same thing. They NEVER in a million years thought this obsession over food would be lifted from them. Our obsessions our security blankets. The food became our best friend who took our pain away when we didn't want to feel it. How could we have ever lived without this best friend of ours? Many of us have carried around beliefs that if we feel any unpleasant feelings like anxiety, fear, anger etc and don't go to the food for relief that somehow we would die. Well, look at that.. of course if that is what we believe then it makes perfect sense why we don't give the food up. I still feel those feelings but now when they come, I turn to my program and make a phone call, do some writing, meditate or pray. I have realized that these feelings come to me for a reason and to teach me something and for years I stuffed them soo far down that I became numb.
Whether you struggle with overeating, bulimia or anorexia.. it's all the same thought processes. There is relief and recovery from these problems. Please know you are not alone and there is soo much help out in the world. Don't give up and think that you are different in that fact that these programs work for everyone else but you. You are no different from me. I am here to help .. as well as many others I can refer you to. Many of our stories may not be exactly the same but the feelings around unhealthy behaviors towards food are very similar. When you think you are somehow different and that nothing can work for you, you just keep yourself in denial about it which then keeps you from seeing the truth. The truth is, there is help and you CAN make the choice to take care of yourself. As I wrote about last night it takes you being willing to look at yourself and get real with what is.. and then make a choice RIGHT NOW to do things differently. It's that simple.
So I had someone call me today that has been reading my blog and she told me she wasn't sure if she was a compulsive eater. So here are the questions that we have people ask themselves when they are trying to determine if they have any unhealthy behaviors when it comes to compulsive eating.
1- Do you eat when you are not hungry?
2- Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
3- Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after eating compulsively?
4- Do you give too much time and thought to food?
5- Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
6- Do you plan these secret eating binges time?
7- Do you eat sensibly with others and make up for it when you are alone?
8- Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?
9- Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer) only to fall short of your goal and give up?
10- Do you resent others telling you to "use a little willpower" to stop eating compulsively?
11- Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet on your own whenever you wish?
12- Do you crave to eat at a definite time day or night, other than meal time?
13- Do you eat to escape from worried or trouble?
14- Have you ever been treated for obesity or food related conditions?
15- Do your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?