So this morning was a tough one for me for several reasons but the lesson I got was to endure and push through it. Life sometimes gets tough and it's in those moments that make us who we are. I am grateful that for today, I pushed through it and had the support around me to carry me through it. I believe life gives us opportunities to get stronger. Although what I was dealing with today was tough, it helped me to remember it had a purpose and that it is all part of the plan of stretching and growing.
As I am beginning this training for a marathon, I am seeing all these mind games I am playing with myself. My goodness. Just aware.. not good or bad just aware of the crazy thoughts I am having. I was talking to someone else that trains for races and he mentioned he had the same issues. What is it about training for a marathon that brings out all this garbage? By the way.. I am grateful for it because yet again it is giving me the opportunity to address this negativity and push through it.
So .. my philosophy is that because training for a marathon is very challenging, it brings out stuff in me that sometimes has been hidden. For instance, I just have noticed how many times this week as I have been running that I have wanted to give up. It's like my old self coming up again when I used to give into all that. I am a different person these days and learning to push through that and set mini goals for myself has helped me beat this negative thinking going on in my head. Each day I finish my allotted run distance, I feel amazing. I feel I have accomplished something. I feel I am getting stronger and on the days I feel weak, I pace myself.
It's interesting to me that I have decided to train for this marathon at this particular time in life because it's causing me to dig deep into my heart and soul to find the grit to NEVER GIVE UP. It's something I have had to learn to practice over and over again. I realized the other day when the thought came to me that it's my choice how fast or slow I go. I could choose the easy route at 3.5 miles an hour and yes.. I wouldn't sweat too much but I would be there all day .. or I could take the temporary pain and push myself between 5.5 - 6.5 and get things done quicker. My mind drifted in comparing that to life. It seems the people that are the most successful in life are the ones that are willing to take the plunge even though they know it will be painful because the rewards are much greater if they do. They move through life much quicker and in the same time are getting stronger. The faster you go, the higher heart rate you have which in turn strengthens your heart. We have to be willing to push ourselves in order to get that reward.
Something else that came to me was one thing they teach you when you run is to lead with your chest. What do we have in our chest is our HEART. Leading with our heart is vital. First we need to know what is in our heart.. and then learn to lead with it. As I lead with my heart it then put my feet behind me and allows me to get into the flow of running. It is all mechanics from that point on. Once I got in my groove.. I was able to get out of my head and enjoy the run. Getting out of my head in the sense.. I didn't care what speed I was going or if I should quit or how long I still had to go. It's soo interesting to me what thoughts are coming to me during this process.
I believe there are no accidents. It feels like this all came at the exact time I needed it to. Some of the places my life is taking off to are way out of my comfort zone. Being out of my comfort zone is going to allow me to stretch and ultimately be able to help others in a such a huge way. My deepest desire is to inspire others to love and accept themselves so that they can in turn take care of themselves in a way that they can breath life back into their souls and feel what life is like having felt peace. If that means, I get to step into the unknown and the uncomfortable.. then so be it. I am willing and as I am willing, God will support me.