I found myself weeping the other day at the thought that there are people out there that truly don't understand or even can comprehend the amount of love God has for them. I just want to carry the message to the world that God is always there. There is NO need to ever feel alone or unworthy of His Love. It took me most of my life living in the dark and feeling distant from Him.. to now appreciate His unconditional Love I have felt flow freely from Him as I learned to turn my life over to Him and His will for me. I can't express enough my gratitude for for the knowledge I have of that now.
I know that life can be difficult at times and many times we don't know what to do other than what we find necessary at the time. Sometimes we turn to unhealthy behavior... sometimes we turn to the Lord and ask for His assistance and sometimes we just plain don't know what to do. As I have struggled with Anxiety over the past couple of years, it's been tough for me to understand at times what I am to learn other than to learn to trust the Lord with all my heart and that He will carry me through anything. I can't say that at the time it is at all pleasant but when I look back, I can't help but see His hand as he has carried me through some very very difficult situations.
As I am now stepping into a whole other stage in my life and beginning to formulate programs, develop systems and work more with large groups of people, my heart is being stretched. I am learning more about me and how I am.. what my strengths and weaknesses are. It always amazes me how God provides those people into my life who are good at what I am not good at to help me along the way. I tend to think I have to do it all by myself and then I am reminded when someone shows up with exactly the support I need. I shake my head and in great appreciation, I give thanks to the one who created me and all things beautiful.
Even as I am writing this, I am listening to this AMAZING piano music that I am grateful for. For me this writing is a way for me to share my heart with the world one subject or day at a time. I joke that I wish every person out there had an online blog where they shared their inter most beautiful thoughts so we can all live with such authenticity. I often ask myself why so many people want to hide their true feelings? Why are we soo afraid to be ourselves? What it is about ourselves we are unwilling to accept and share with the world? For me, I am learning more and more everyday to do that.
I started dating someone the last few weeks and what a blessing he is in my life. He is teaching me how amazing I am and what a blessing I am in the world. Although I don't NEED his validation, it's nice to be acknowledged for the path I have taken and the work I have done on me. If I am totally honest it's more the work God has done on me because of my willingness to surrender to Him. To be experiencing such an authentic and open communication with someone I find to be so sincere is a beautiful thing. I don't share much of dating life but I have to admit that I feel inspired to share with someone out there that may need to hear what it is that I am experiencing.
I have NEVER in all my years, felt this type of connection with another as I do with this guy I am dating. Some may look at what we have experienced in the short month that we have known each other and think.. it's impossible to be as close as we are at this point.. but I can't deny the absolute miracles.. ONE AFTER ANOTHER.. that have happened. It seems like everyday we see more miracles. As we sat at dinner last night and started making the list of each miracle each day since we have been together it took hours for us to get through a couple of days. Yes.. it's true, when we both got aligned with our purpose and acknowledged God for the blessings He shows us daily.. it's incredible the abundance that is there.
I think sometimes.. God is just waiting for us to acknowledge Him.. so He can bless us with MORE. Really it's that simple. The smallest things. For instance, as I was leaving his house last night, I looked up and the moon was flowing quickly through an abundance of beautiful clouds. It was beautiful! We acknowledged His creation and the opportunity we had of being there to see it. Both of us felt so much gratitude for those things. It's like that every single day since we started dating. It always seems to be a beautiful sunset or sunrise, birds, deer, the stars, the moon..etc. Every single thing comes from God and we have found soo much joy in acknowledging all of it. Both of us love nature. Nature brings me soo much joy it's beyond words at times.
I am just soo grateful for life right now. Doesn't mean I still don't have tough days but I feel like I have been gifted the tools I need to help me deal with life as it comes as I turn to the Lord to teach me. Life is all about learning and growing and I am grateful for the growth I have experienced over the past few years. It's been beautiful. My hope is by me sharing my heart and my journey with you that you see what is possible for you.