Wednesday, June 22, 2011

"Connecting with People it Important?"

From a very young age I have always been intrigued with getting to know people. I remember as a little girl sitting out on my front door step asking the guy we hired to paint our garage door a bunch of questions. I wanted to know what got him into painting and if he liked it and what would he do if he didn't paint. I don't know where this desire to connect with people came from other than I just thought people were fascinating. I also remember being a teenager sitting in the dentist office striking up a conversation with someone in the waiting room. Within 5 minutes I knew just about everything about them and afterwards my mother asking me .."How do you do that?"

I want to FEEL someone's soul and I do that by communicating on a deep level. I want to know what makes them passionate. I want to know the "WHY" they are passionate. There is nothing more fullfilling for me than to see someone living their truth and for me to be part of the journey is helping them discover that true passion. I can always tell when they have hit that place where they are doing what they love when I ask them the question.. "If you had all the money in the world and didn't have to worry about any of that.. what would you do?"

True connection with people isn't hard.. it just takes being willing to open yourself to them. People only open up when you create the safe space for them to do so. I have sat down and met with hundreds of people over the past 8 months and I can say each and everyone of those people I connected with because I was intentional about wanting to know them. People love to talk about themselves. They love when people show interest in them and what they are up to. It's not just a networking process but for me has to come from the heart.

As I watched a video we did of my father 2 weeks before he passed away, it just reinforced how important it is to really genuinely care for another human being. My father was a master at this. I swear everyone felt like they were his best friend. I know growing up watching how he did this made an impact on me.

So .. I ask the question, what keeps up from connecting with others sometimes? Well if I was to guess, I would have to say that it might have something to do with not wanting to be vulnerable with people. I am finding this especially among single's. As I am venturing back into the dating world, I am seeing a lot of fear around this topic. I can see there is a lot of history with people but I believe the more confident you are in who you are the more transparent you can be in these types of relationships. For me I have had to dig deep and make sure that I really know me and what I want in order to give myself to someone in a deeper way. I have had to learn to trust myself. That didn't come over night and still takes work but I will say this go around in dating its much different and much more meaningful for me. I am healthier in mind, body and soul and it makes all the difference in the world.

Overall, all of us want to be wanted and want to know that we are important to another human being. It starts with us. We are the ones that need to allow safe spaces for people to connect with us and then be willing to care enough about the other person to show them respect in getting to know them. Connecting authentically and in a healthy way just like anything.. takes work AND is very rewarding from what I have experienced.

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