"Miracles.. EVERYWHERE if you look for them!"

It's been a long time since I have written here and I am sorry I haven't been better at doing so because this is where I share my most intimate feelings and experiences I have in my life. Lately I have been through my pretty difficult times to be honest with you and through it all I have learned a few things for sure.

One of which is God never seems to amaze me with MIRACLES through out every aspect of my life. I have gotten to the point that when life starts getting difficult, I hold tight to God and HIS guidance and sit back and watch the miracles unfold. Don't get me wrong, I have days when I doubt His ability and when I think I can do it on my own or when I get impatient that things are moving along quicker and then I remember it's in the Lord's time NOT mine He promises.

One of the things I used to be soo good at and need to get back in the habit of doing is every single night I wouldn't go to bed until I wrote out 5 miracles.. or "GOD THINGS" that happened that day. A couple of things I noticed with this exercise was that it seems like more and more miracles started to show up. Interesting... there is some kind of POWER in acknowledging God for the blessings he gives me on a daily basis. I guess that makes sense. Think about it, when you do something nice for someone and they acknowledge you for it.. maybe with a thank you or something along those lines, you naturally WANT to do more for them. I don't think God is any different!!

I am so grateful to see His hand in my life and even for those days I forget to thank Him or remember the source of my blessings, He never gives up on me. I am grateful that every single day I wake up, God gives me yet another opportunity to serve Him, to be better, to trust Him more and to rely on His strength. Somedays I am better than others but there is one thing I know about me.. I WILL NEVER GIVE UP TRYING.

"Tears of Healing" - Cracking OPEN my HEART!

I spent just about the entire day crying. 'What is going on with me' I asked myself several times. First I was sitting in church listening to the young woman talk about their inner light and how important it is to share it with the world when I was overcome with this feeling of gratitude that they are getting opportunities to really know their worth  at this age. Then it was onto working on a video for a friend of mine of him and his 4 children. As I watched it over and over again I couldn't help but feel the love that not only he has for them.. but the love that was expressed to him by them.

It's almost like God has unlocked the flood gates to my heart when it comes to Children. Several months ago, I went over to a friend of mine's home where she had 2 small children and as we were just finishing up a workout, she asked me if I wouldn't mind taking care of her kids for about an hour while she went to a meeting she had forgotten about. Her two girls were 3 and 8 months at the time. She explained to me that her little 3 year old would sit in the bathroom watching her show on the ipod and that if I wouldn't mind feeding the younger one and then put her to sleep afterwards. No problem I thought. So I did just that, left the older daughter alone in the bathroom while I fed the younger one and then rocked her to sleep. I didn't expect what happened next. As this 8 month old baby fell asleep in my  arms, I couldn't help but see the gift she was to the world. I thought of how innocent she was. My heart melted as I starred at her laying in my arms. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, this was the first time I had ever held a baby this close to me before. I know what you are thinking.. huh? Yes, after losing 130 lbs, holding children is just different. I no longer have to struggle with hanging on to them or feel like they are sliding off my lap. This was different, this baby I held close to me. A feeling I had never experienced before. I went home that day with a part of my heart cracked wide open. After many years of battling with fertility problems, I felt in my heart that God was telling me that I get to experience this closeness with a baby of my own. That started me down this road of emotions when it comes to children.

As many of you know, I have been divorced for over 2 years now and while during my 7 1/2 years of marriage, I wasn't able to hold a pregnancy, I have always longed to be a mother. I have been so focused on building a career for myself, this very well might be God's way of helping me put my priorities into check.  Finding myself single again and not getting any younger, I find this desire within me growing at a much faster pace. Not sure why just about anytime I hold a child or talk about having children, I begin to cry. I know that in time I will have that opportunity and know that I will be an amazing mother in whatever way that looks.

I always say to others when they begin to cry.. "Let if flow, because your soul is healing.. and healing is a wonderful thing." It's true for me to. Although I have done a lot of work on myself, I still have a lot more to get through. The healing process doesn't just end. Healing can sometimes be very painful and through the pain comes the victory. Rainbows only show up after the storm and it's the same with our lives. Once I understood that, it made life a lot more manageable.

I think one of the keys to working through the "tears of healing" is to have someone whom you trust help you. Today, a dear friend of mine shed light and feedback and at times, I found myself closing up but then I had to consciously DECIDE to stay open to the process and look within for answers and eventually the peace returned.

Now after a full day of tears, contacts out and feeling a need for sleep, I am going to allow my mind to drift off to sleep and know that tomorrow brings new light and knowledge to it... New creation.. New HOPE!

If there is one thing I have learned in life is to be tenacious. NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

Life Lessons Riding a Motorcycle??

Amazing experience I had tonight as a friend of mine took me for a ride on his motorcycle. I always try and be aware of the lessons I need to learn and tonight seemed to be one of those times where I felt I was starting to really understand some key concepts I have been working on.

One of the things I have struggled with in relationships is the ability to let go and trust in masculine strength and step fully into my feminine energy. I have always LOVED adventure and in the past couple of years have come to really enjoy riding motorcyles. Now I say.. ride because I don't have any desire to drive them but that awareness didn't come to me until tonight when we were on the road and it hit me why. I have spent most of my life in the driver seat taking control and doing what needs to be done. I realized tonight in such a huge way, how much I appreciate and honor that masculine energy to lead me and how important it is and comfortable it is for me to trust in that energy.

So as we began our ride, my friend pointed out that I was a little tense and was trying too hard to lean one way or another during the turns. Once he pointed that out to me I worked on just following his lead and surrendering to him. Soon I realized how comfortable and easy it was. I didn't have to work at it at all. Most importantly it made his job as the driver much easier because he wasn't having to correct my every move.

Of course once we got somewhere he could floor it.. he did. I noticed a couple of interesting things in me. First off, my fear kicked in immediately, then as he sped up, I intentionally allowed myself to let go of that fear and be TOTALLY present in the moment. What an incredible feeling it felt to completely LET GO and feel absolute surrender. This happened several times during the night and the more I practiced it, the easier it got for me. How in the world could I really explain what that feels like?

Something else I noticed was my soul just comes alive when there is adventure and being in nature. I know I have mentioned this on several occasions, but for me, I NEED that time to get out and be with nature. Standing out by the water of Utah Lake.. and looking 360 Degrees around me at all the beautiful mountains just filled my soul in so many ways. Not to mention the sun was just setting and I had the opportunity to thank God for the blessing of living in such a beautiful country where I have the freedoms to be who I want to be and do what I want to do. As my friend and I talked about how important it is to be present, I couldn't help but be grateful for that very MOMENT in time. Several times, I thought to myself  'Could life get any better than this and how did I find myself here tonight when this wasn't my plan.' Isn't that just incredible. I try everyday to not be too attached to who I get to connect with, what I am doing and where I am suppose to be. I just allow myself to be lead in whatever direction I need to be lead.

I wasn't going to go tonight at first because I had too much going on but then another friend of mine suggested it would be good for me to get out and when it comes to adventure like that, it's really really hard for me to resist.

You know I am the only one who can change things within myself or in any relationship. I can choose to surrender and trust .. or I can choose not to.. it's up to me. I can choose to forgive, I can choose to serve or to love. I have learned that love is a choice and who I choose to spend my time with is intentional. I try my best to make sure the relationship is equally beneficial.  One of the gifts I find giving to these amazing men is to acknowledge them for their goodness and their strengths and the value they bring to my life. They need to hear it and I tell them often.

I am in no hurry to jump into any kind of serious relationship and am enjoying developing true deep meaningful friendships. Just as in any relationship, there has to be a sure foundation built and I feel a lot of gratitude for the men in my life at this time.  Thank you .. Thank you .. Thank you.. you know who you are!!

"We are MASTER Co-CREATORS!"

What does it mean to be a creator? I have come to realize over the past couple of years just how incredibly powerful we are. We truly have the power to create Heaven or Hell in any given moment. What do I mean by that? Think about it, you wake up and from the first conscious thought you begin your day. Some may say.. "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed," and they let that determine the rest of their day. I say, no matter what we are feeling or thinking in any given moment we can shift it if we want. Take for instance, an emotion that sometimes is uncomfortable like fear. Sit and think deeply about something that is causing you a lot of fear. Notice how you feel. Notice the train of thoughts you are having. Now think of a bright, sunny, happy day and what it feels like to be outside with a cool breeze softly brushing through your hair from one side to the next. Notice how you feel now. Our minds are sooo powerful.

I remember when the day I began my journey of releasing 130 lbs. I turned to my friend of mine and said to her "Seriously.. no sugar .. no flour FOREVER?" I remember feeling the immense amount of weight on my shoulders of the thought of not only having to lose 130 lbs but doing it without sugar and flour.. two things that had been my friend for over 35 years. She turned to me, smiled and said "Just not today!" All of a sudden my reality shifted and I felt I could do it. I could do anything for 24 hours. Soon I realized that that 24 hours.. turned into another 24 hours.. and another.. and sure enough.. almost exactly 3 years later, I am where I am today. The other HUGE lesson I got from this experience is God, who is the master creator was going to help me and He did.

Because I made a small but significant decision, I, along with God of course, created some massively AMAZING results. I always include God in what I am able to create because as powerful as I am, I couldn't have done it without Him. What I had to realize and continue to realize is that together, God and I, are co-Master creators. Where I am weak, He is strong and He carries me through those difficult times.

I have to say though, there are times where I fall back into my stinky thinking that I can do it on my own. Until I have hit my head up against the wall enough times and fall to my knees and surrender, I realize I can't do it alone.

I started reading a book this morning called "Believing Christ." This book is sooo amazingly good at illustrating the fact that I was never meant to live this life alone and take on the battles of life by myself. There was one, Jesus Christ, that went before me, paid the price and knows and UNDERSTANDS first hand the struggles I face. All He asks of me is to turn to Him. Why is that so hard to do sometimes? I don't know. The only answer I have is I am human.. and mortal and I seem to have a mind that tends to forget and has to be reminded often. This is why it's so important for me to keep my mind active and always searching to learn more. This is why I pray often and read scriptures, to be reminded that God is the POWERFUL one, who sent His son to go before me to show me the way. I just have to remember to follow His example and do my best to live righteously to the best of my ability and then He makes up the rest.

You know the guy I was dating last year and I would have this conversation all the time. It seemed like every single thing he would plan for us to do was always turning out PERFECTLY. We would get to the exact right place at the exact right moment to watch a beautiful sunset. It seemed like everything we experienced was perfectly orchestrated. The (2) four leaf clovers just magically appeared out of nowhere, I would in that moment turn to him and ask, "How the heck did you create this? You are a MASTER CREATOR you know?" I think he loved it when I said that because I wanted him to realize just how powerful of a creator he was and how much I appreciated it... in turn that helped encourage his AMAZING ability to create even more incredible experiences.

"One of the hardest things to do... FORGIVE YOURSELF!"

Why do you think forgiving ourselves is so hard sometimes? Well, at least for me, I grew up thinking I needed to be perfect at everything I did or else I wasn't acceptable. I spent a lot of time comparing myself to others and I never seemed to measure up. I would always think "What's wrong with me that I can't seem to figure things out like everyone else. Everyone else is happy when I am literally dying inside." I couldn't figure it out til many years later when I realized that I wasn't born to be perfect. It wasn't even part of the plan. I was given weakness in order to learn and grow. Otherwise what would be the purpose of this mortal life? 

So once I realized I was placed here with weakness, I had to accept my imperfections as being PERFECT in and of themselves. Wow.. that was a challenge to let go of that reality. I had to start with not beating myself up. I had to start with allowing myself to make mistakes and to show patience as I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. I am really really good at making pages and pages of TO DO lists and setting myself up for overwhelm. Recently it's been a practice of mine to allow myself to think .."I do my very best and let go of the rest." I had to think that way or else I would find myself back in that place of self pity. 

So.. I make certain choices sometimes that stop me from progressing in life, SO WHAT. I say.. so what not because I give myself permission or justify my actions but rather allow myself to look at what I have done or not done as a learning opportunity and move on. Sometimes that requires me asking others for forgiveness, sometimes it's just a matter of recommitting to myself and moving on. I have always been someone that moves on pretty quickly once I have noticed my wrong doing. I don't care to stay in that negative place very long. Although I do have to say, there is a difference between shutting a door and moving on .. and taking the time to look at what happened, take responsibility for my actions and then asking for forgiveness and THEN moving on. 

I always like to say.. "I am IMPERFECTLY PERFECT!" Meaning I am perfect just the way I am. Forgiving myself has been a process of learning to LOVE myself and accept my imperfections. The quicker you forgive, the quicker you can move on to better things. I like what a good friend of mine says.. "Fail faster so you can success quicker!" Isn't that true? Don't allow yourself to beat yourself up. It doesn't do you any good. By the way, this also applies very much to relationships too. As I was talking to a good friend of mine last night, I realized how important it is to forgive quickly the other person for their imperfections. I don't believe we wake up in the morning with the intention to hurt ourselves or others, we just do sometimes. Take a good look at it.. take responsibility and then move on. 

Find the true Gift in "BE"ing Present!

You know I have thought often of what an AMAZING gift it is to learn to be present. I have to give credit to my dear former fiance who taught me how to be present. He taught me how to slow down and to just BE. He taught me to allow myself to shut out the world, the chatter in my mind and all the electronic devices and to be 100% with him in the moment. At first, it was difficult for me to shut all that out but after awhile I found the great value of truly allowing myself to give him and others my 100% attention. This was not an easy task for me. It took me practicing, falling on my face at times but after awhile it got easier. Every time I would find myself wanting to so call "Check out," I took a deep breath and allowed myself to get grounded.

I was reminded again today as I laid on the floor in my yoga class this morning staring at the ceiling in one specific place for a period of time, how awesome it feels to just be silent in my mind. What a gift, to be so present that there was a nothingness about the moment other than the thoughts and emotions I was observing. Back in the day, I would have been thinking about the laundry I had to do, how uncomfortable I was with my body, what were other people thinking of me or am I doing this right? Always thinking something was wrong with me or the moment and it should be a different way. To now just be in such a place of gratitude for whatever emotions, thoughts or feelings that come and not judging them is absolutely BEAUTIFUL.

So what I have learned is when I am present, I am not fearing the future nor trying to control the past. In the past couple of years I have seen a huge shift in my perception as it pertains to fear and control. When I find myself going into this place of either, I know I am living outside of the NOW... so I breathe and bring myself back to the NOW and know that all I have is the NOW .. the present moment.

So here are a few things I do as I find myself drifting whether I am with others.. or by myself. I take a couple of HUGE breathes. These are breathing from the core of my belly not from my chest or shoulders. It's amazing the amount of tension that is released just from doing this. I also meditate. It is not uncommon for me to just stop what I am doing, lay down on the floor of my office or in bed in the middle of the day and just sit. Wipe all the thoughts from my mind as if I were staring at a totally blank white board. At first, I felt uncomfortable with this as my mind was full of all kinds of different thoughts, but soon I learned to turn those off for a bit. Sometimes I want to think NOTHING.. and other times, I want to receive inspiration.

Short story, about a month ago, I was right in the middle of a HUGE creation spurt where I was really needing to get all the content that I have built up over the past couple of years out on paper. I was in the need of creating content for workshops, books, blogs, speaking gigs.. and etc. So I found myself laying on the floor of my office with the warm sun shining down on me through my office window and while listening to Shamanick music, asking the question in my mind.."God, please help me purge all these different concepts I have had racing in my head for the last couple of years!" It didn't take long to open that portal of information. Here I was laying there with a pen and paper next to me and WHAM... all the content came RUSHING in my mind almost too fast I couldn't write quick enough. So I would write and then go back to meditation and more would come and I would lean over and write some more and then repeat that several times. It was soo AMAZING to experience this. Next thing I knew I had 4 pages chalked full of content. It didn't stop there, I didn't go anywhere the next week without my binder with a couple of more empty pages to fill and as soon as another idea popped into my head, I wrote it down. 3 pages later, I was shocked to see so much AMAZING content that was hidden deep inside of me. It felt great to finally have it all in one place.

What I learned most from that experience is, it's important to take the time to be silent and to ask the right question and then most importantly.. LISTEN and take lots of notes. It's AMAZING what incredible knowledge and power we have within us when we take time to slow down and allow it to flow freely from us. From all that content I got written down that week, will come everything I need to finish my books, tv show ideas and concepts, radio themes, blog entries.. etc. What a gift! What a blessing I have been given when I learned how to be present and in the moment.

When it comes to relationships, my dear former fiance taught me how to truly BE present with him and what a gift that was for us to have had that type of connection. When you can look into each others eyes for an hour without speaking a word but communicate in such a way that there was no question in our minds about the gratitude we feel for each other.. it's INCREDIBLE. It's a spiritual connection, one more deeply than any words can convey. Just like with anything in life, I KNOW for a fact that everything happens for a reason and with each relationship and friendship we have, we are given nuggets of gold.. gifts from above. I am grateful for him and what he has taught me about me.

My Recent Challenge...with Weight Gain

I am sorry I haven't blogged in quite sometime. It seems as my life pushes forward, I am getting busier and busier which is good but I value very much my time to write and to express my deepest feelings about where I am in my life. I know that many of you feel similar feelings because I meet with you everyday. I hear your stories, I hear your struggles and I am no different.

This last few months has been a roller coaster of emotions for sure. As I always say, it's PERFECT because I am learning more about who I am and picking up new tools to aid me in living a healthy life and in order to help more people. 

Even though I have released 130 lbs, it doesn't mean that I have somehow arrived. In my own mind,  I think on some level, I felt that but life has shown me recently that working the basic simple principles are what sustain healthy living. As I sit here in bed, pondering about what to share with you, my mind wonders to how important the little things are and to be patient and loving with ourselves. 

In the last 4 months, I have gained 20 lbs which has been an interesting journey for me. I found myself back in the "I don't care" thinking. "Where did that come from? ...What triggered it?... and What am I suppose to learn from it?" These questions have been heavily on my mind. 

I felt in someway that obesity and the thoughts of it all where in the past and were going to stay there FOREVER. I didn't start to eat sugar or flour again because in my mind, those things are evil but I did start eating more of the food that I normally eat and justify eating "Sugar FREE" items and too much of that too. Soon the weight started to creep back on. Suddenly, my clothes became tight and I didn't feel so good inside. Everyday I would recommit to myself and others and sometimes for a day or two I would do well. As for now, I am feeling ok but there for awhile, I felt as though I couldn't control it. 

Just recently, friends of mine have introduced me to other tools to help aid me in dealing with these negative behaviors. I just started using "Tapping." In my mind, I thought that tapping was too simple but I am starting to realize that most things we strive for are EASY.. well, maybe not EASY but SIMPLE. In my mind, I thought, this is too simple and it kept me from using it. I am trying it out and in the last couple of days it has given me great relief. I know that my perfectionism was keeping me from doing it too because I wanted to do it perfectly and instead, I just decided to relinquish the fact it doesn't have to be perfect, I just have to do it. 

So there.. this is where I am right now and am headed back down the scale 15 lbs to where I want to be. The difference this time is I know my value isn't determined by the number that is on the scale and that I have the tools I need, if I choose to use them, to be where I want to be. Before I would have just given up and allowed myself to go back to the life I lived but now, what I do in helping others get healthy, keeps me on my toes. 

While I was in the process of releasing my weight and then maintaining it for a year in a half, I remember people asking me.. "did you every cheat?" for the most part, I just went for it and didn't look back and to many people I felt they couldn't relate to me because of that. Now, knowing I got back into the food and have struggled the last few months has been PERFECT because it's given me true empathy for those struggling. It's not that I can't remember what it was like back then.. but time has a way of really making it hard sometimes to remember what it felt like. I KNOW and am experiencing the pain that goes with not feeling like I can control my desire to eat. 

Thank God, today I am at peace about it and am choosing to make healthy choices. I will write more about this and feel free to share your feelings and thoughts. We are all in this together and it's important to get out of isolation. These struggles DON'T make you bad.. they just are what you get to experience in life and teach you to dig deep to get healthy. 

My Savior... My Friend!

This year has been one of great reflection and learning for me. I have always been a religious person but to be honest with you, I have NEVER in my life gone to the depth of spirituality that I have in this last year. As many of you may know I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and have been my whole life. I even was a full time missionary in 1995-1996 where I served in the Pocatello Mission. I have attended church weekly, even graduated from seminary. Even through all those years of being religious thinking it was complicated, I have come to realize just how incredibly SIMPLE God's love is for me.

I think I had this idea in my head that if I was perfect enough by checking off my "TO DO" list that I would be worthy of His love and acceptance. So I served my mission to the best of my ability and the very last day, when I found out my father had died in a car accident and I was being sent home the following day, I remember questioning if I had really done my best. Little did I know, I was an incredible missionary. Someone who served diligently with her heart and influenced many lives. At the time though if you asked me, I would tell you all the things I did wrong that made it not so. I couldn't accept that my imperfections were enough. I remember very clearly, the day I got released as a missionary and the man who released me said... "You were a great missionary." He didn't know I was questioning if I had done enough, he didn't even know me personally and let alone understand what it felt like to have just lost my father to a tragic accident. Again, I didn't accept that truth of me being enough just the way I was.

So this was a common theme throughout my life... am I enough? ... will I ever be enough? Is there more that I can "DO" to be acceptable in God's eyes? I have discovered for the first time in my life.... NO. I am already enough. I am already worthy of His love and acceptance just the way I am. There are things I choose to do on a daily basis that draw me closer to Him.. and further away from Him. God's Love, Mercy and Grace are exquisite. I now understand and continue to understand just how AMAZING this love is He has for me and for each one of you.

As for the Savior, since I have experienced a total transformation from the inside out, I have come to discover the incredible power of the atonement. I used to think the atonement was for people who had done horrible things, now I understand that the atonement is a GIFT for me to utilize each day to bring me closer to my Heavenly Father.

I was in church the other day and made a comment about how I have been reading a lot in the scriptures about Repentance. The scriptures counsel us OVER and OVER again.. "If they would only repent and keep the commandments.. then they shall have ALL that God has and more." So I have been on this journey to understand and ask what it is that I need to repent of so I may become more like the Savior and closer to God. Another comment from someone in the room was we needed to stop beating ourselves up. Although I agree 100% with that, I don't see repentance as a way to beat myself up, I see it as an incredible blessing and opportunity to draw closer to my Savior and to learn to accept His Sacrifice and service He rendered for ME.

My Savior.. My friend! I have learned and developed this amazing trust with my Savior. Our relationship is like any other relationship, I had to learn first who my Savior was then through many experiences, I learned to trust. As I trusted more my respect and love grew. My understanding of how he communicates with me expanded. This picture below is the picture I have up in my bedroom and I look at it each morning when I wake up. I spend time meditating to it. I see it as the Savior with His arms stretched forth towards me encouraging me to come to Him. It also reminds me that I need to be open to receiving. I struggle with that at times. As with many of you, we are so good at giving .. giving.. and giving more to others but when it comes to having to receive, it's hard. I have been on the receiving side many times this year and I am grateful for those in my life that have carried me and lifted my own soul as I have struggled. Isn't that what this life is all about anyway. The Savior has lifted me... I lift others.. others lift me. It's all one eternal circle of service.

So during this time of the year, I can't help but give thanks to the very one who gave me life, God. He also provided me with the most incredible gift my brother, my Savior, my friend who is teaching me by His example who I must become. I am grateful for this journey I have been on and for the knowledge I have now.

I KNOW that my Savior died for me and most importantly, lives today so that I may be forgiven for those choices I make that draw me further away from God. I know that God lives and knows me intimately.. my heart .. my soul.. my desires. He loves me and guides me each and every single day. I know when I am inspired to make a call, connect with a certain person or to serve that all that comes from Him. I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ is REAL. I know that because I have experienced the mighty change of heart in my own life and continue to feel it's power as I learn to turn my life over to Him. I know there is a living Prophet Thomas S. Monson that stands as the mouth piece for the Lord. I am grateful for His guidance and counsel He gives me. I know that the scriptures were written for OUR day and to help me understand how God works and His love for me. I live in such an incredible time where I have been given soo much.

I pray that each one of you finds peace in your heart.. and healing. I will say, even though my life is not perfect and there are days I still struggle, I feel because I have learned better to rely on the Lord it makes those challenging times easier. I pray for the same to be for you as well. God bless and always remember that you are important, you have a purpose here on earth and that you are LOVED.

Year End Review of 2011 - List of things I have learned......

This year has been one of the most growing years of my life for many more reasons than some may think. I haven't written in awhile and partly that is because I have been so busy in helping people with Sponsor Me Slim and been involved in my own personal relationships. I felt as though I have grown SOOO much by all the amazing experiences I have had that I can't help but be in such gratitude. Even the really tough times, I knew things would work out just the way they were suppose to. 

Here are a few things I have learned from this past year. 

... I have learned I don't need a lot to survive

... I have learned that I create my peace and balance wherever I am 

... I have learned that it's important to have good friends and acknowledge the good in them often

... I have learned to lean solely on God for my strength and trust in His almighty wisdom

... I have learned how to better listen to the counsel of the Lord

... I have learned how important it is to put the Lord First before anything else

... I have learned that even though I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel... to keep walking with Faith. 

... I have learned that I come from one of the most amazing families.. I am blessed to have them in my life.

... I have learned to appreciate the small and simple things in life

... I have learned that my story doesn't define me

... I have learned to serve others with No attachments. 

... I have learned to love unconditionally not being attached to the result of the relationship

... I have learned that I am beautiful and have great value

... I have learned to BE PRESENT in the moment

... I have learned to let go and TRUST God with all my Heart 

... I have learned just how incredibly Tenacious I am

... I have learned that I am experiencing life exactly as I am suppose to do.. Challenges and all

... I have learned in order to inspire I had to create value in other's lives

... I have learned that being healthy is RARE. 

... I have learned to see the GREAT in all people and acknowledge it to them

... I have learned how sensitive Men are

... I have learned what's most important to me

... I have learned how to follow my heart and speak my truth

... I have learned to appreciate and embrace the teachings in the scriptures

... I have learned to ACT NOW when opportunities present itself

... I have learned how fragile life is and to tell people I love them because I never know when they will be gone

... I have learned how incredibly blessed I am

... I have learned to appreciate every aspect of myself

... I have learned to be confident

... I have learned I create massive value in all my relationships

... I have learned to love more deeply

... I have learned to heal and utilize the atonement more

... I have learned to have NO JUDGEMENT towards others who think differently than I

... I have learned to be grateful when I am in the Flow and to take advantage of that time

... I have learned to accept what is

... I have learned how to forgive.... wow this one was a big one. Starting with me.. then forgiving others

... I have learned to trust more

... I have learned to take more time in making big decisions

... I have learned to not rush into things

... I have learned that things are just things

... I have learned to look for miracles on a daily basis

... I have learned to ask for help

... I have learned to receive love and affection

... I have learned to be honored for who I am and my beauty and intelligence I have to bring to the world

... I have learned to be open to others opinions

... I have learned to create safe spaces for others to share

... I have learned to better communicate

... I have learned that God knows me intimately and wants me to feel JOY & PEACE

... I have learned how important the temple is to my spiritual growth

... I have learned how important it is to be teachable 

... I have learned how to help others heal and the gift I have been given to do so

... I have learned that I am very intuitive

These are just a few things I have learned over this past year. Although it has flown by and we are just about to go into a brand new year, I have to say, I am humbled by the many blessings I have in my life at this time. Some may say, "I don't know how you did it!" I say to that.. I don't either.. but with the Help of my Savior Jesus Christ and my belief in God as my partner, I made it. I know for a fact that God has held me in His hand many many many times.. and even carried me on His back when I wanted to give up. He sent people into my life to help me through challenging times and lifted my spirits when they were down but through it all, my testimony grew, my knowledge in His existence is STRONG. 

It's interesting to me how similar the journey has been of releasing the 130 lbs.. is to building a career. It's the same exact process.. putting the same exact habits in place. It's all about staying focused on the goal.. focused on staying present.. one day at time.. and not allowing myself to get discouraged. 

God never said it would be easy but that it would be worth it and that is soo true. As I kneel in prayer each day and plead with the Lord to be my partner for the day, I am overcome with the spirit as I watch how he leads me to different places and to connect with different people. As an example, today I knelt beside my bed asking the Lord to be with me and to show me miracles and boy did he provide. It was one after another as I kept a log of them in my notebook. Every time I recognized another miracle I would let that person know that they were part of me experiencing a miracle. who says.. miracles don't happen anymore? I experienced about 7 of them today and I know EXACTLY where they came from. I have said this many times, but God desires to be acknowledged too. 

I hope that at the end of this year, you take time to make your own list of things that you have learned. Also take the time to give yourself a pat on the back for all the wonderful things you are accomplished. I will be starting up my blog here a lot more now and in the new year. Feel free to share it with whomever you would like. 

God Bless.. and remember how incredibly valuable you are to this world. 

"Sponsor Me Slim" Helping people Lose weight... saving lives!

It's been awhile since I blogged.. my life has just taken off. A lot of different thoughts I have had lately as I have begun this journey with a program called "Sponsor Me Slim." I had been looking for the last year for some way that I could help the most amount of people when it came to their weight. As many of you know I have released 130 lbs and in the process of doing that, my entire life has changed. I don't think there is much of my old life yet. Although I feel AMAZING, I have often felt in my heart this longing to help others reach this level of success and after trying several different avenues, I feel I finally found the right vehicle in order to see REAL success.

See, it's not a matter of just going on some diet to lose weight, it's about having success in releasing the weight and then literally changing the thoughts and behaviors so you NEVER go back. I have been maintaining my weight loss for over a year. In order to have lasting success you have to make changes but my message to the world is it doesn't have to be HARD to make the changes .. it really just comes down to making a decision.

Over the last couple of months, I have had the privilege to interview a lot of different people and to hear their own life stories of their struggles with weight. My heart goes out to them because I understand EXACTLY the frustrations they are facing and at the same time I know I have a solution if they want to take hold of it and do it. See weight loss and transformation doesn't happen overnight... it takes putting one foot in front of the other taking it one day at a time. We can allow any number of excuses to creep into our thoughts convincing us that it's too hard, I can't do it, I will never be successful. The truth of the matter is, what you think about .. comes about. I say .."IF YOU SAY SO!" It is soo true.

There are several ways to lose weight, all I know is if you don't give your body the nutrients it needs, you will always be craving and then end up in the unhealthy food which will then trigger eating more unhealthy food. It's a crazy cycle. No wonder a lot of people fail. For me, I had to get RID of the unhealthy food and give my body what it desperately wanted and needed, then it started to function the way it was suppose to be and I was satisfied. That's the idea behind "Sponsor Me Slim." We give you the nutrients that you need so you don't have the cravings, your body is satisfied so you can get on with your life and stop thinking about food all the time.

In a nutshell, "Sponsor Me Slim" is a program that helps people lose weight quickly and very healthy and while doing so we raise money to help feed children that would otherwise die of starvation. It's a WIN WIN. It's balancing out the scales of injustice.

I can't tell you the joy it brings to me to see just about every night, testimony after testimony of these amazing people and how their lives are changing. This is about transformation and truly it's a blessing to be apart of their journey. I can literally SEE the changes not only physically but most importantly the changes in their countenance. I love what I do. I love knowing that we are literally saving lives on both sides of the scales.

If you are interested in getting more information on Sponsor Me Slim, visit my website at www.CreatingHealthyLiving.com and click on the "Sponsor Me Slim" tab. There are videos for you to watch, testimonies and then you can fill out the form and I will personally call you to set up an interview to see if it's the right fit for you.

Mark my words that this program will literally change this country's problem with obesity as well as save millions of children's lives as well. I am proud to be apart of such a huge movement.

MIRACLES.. in the works

The last couple of days I have spent hours on the phone interviewing people who have struggled with weight their entire life. Can I just say .. my heart breaks for them as well as I remember so clearly like it was yesterday how it felt to live a life in such bondage. I have to say, I am humbled greatly by the opportunity of being a support for this first initial group of NEXT SUCCESS stories. It's just amazing to me as I read more and more statistics of the millions of people suffering. I find myself often the last couple f days, having to take a deep breathe and realize that I am just ONE person and that in order for me to help I need stay very close to God because he is the ultimate miracle worker... I am just a mere instrument.

I tell people when I start working with them that this is their journey to take .. not mine, meaning I am not going to do the work for them but I will support them in anyway I can. Often times I think we want to take other's problems onto ourselves but what that ends up doing is then weighing us down and keeps us from truly taking care of ourselves.

**

The beautiful thing about Miracles is that they are all around us everyday if we choose to open our eyes to them. We tend to think that Miracles have to be huge. There are soo  many little tender mercies I experience all the time. As it pertains to weight loss, I tend to believe that any success is a miracle. I can't wait to start hearing the stories of the people as they begin to discover who they truly are and wake up to their absolute brilliance in them. It's like unwrapping a PRICELESS GIFT. When I speak to groups I tell them that I had no idea that this pretty girl was in me. It's true. All the weight was hiding who I truly was. I believe there is beauty in ALL people. I am excited to see the transformations and what a gift it is for me to be apart of that.

I also have to mention what I am learning as I begin this new journey. Just as I had to have the support around me to be successful at my weight loss, I am learning it's just as important for me to have the support around me to succeed in other areas of my life. I have found an AMAZING group of people who are helping me be the best I can be so that I can help more people. It's so important. I am so grateful for the man in my life who encourages me, who supports me and who helps me remember who I am when my doubts and fears come up. I can't stress enough what a gift it is to know that these angels in my life will hold me up as I reach down to help others up.

"FAST FOOD KILLS"

Ever thought about how fast food is contributing to so many issues in our society? I am NO expert at all the stats out there but as I sit here in a very well known fast food chain, I can't help but think about how much we rely on this over processed and under nourished food that we consume soo much of on a daily basis. I am sure you have seen from time to time someone on TV pile up the amount of unhealthy food we eat in a year in efforts to make a point to how much we really are consuming and how it affects us. I think back when I used to come to this particular fast food restaurant twice a day.. Lunch and Dinner and how I used to eat 2 full meals of at least 60 grams of fat each. When I used to go to 2 or 3 drive thrus in a 15 minute span to get my fill of fries. I was killing myself. I have eaten out in a restaurant only 3 times in 2 1/2 years. I am not saying that that is right for everyone but it works for me it's just not worth the money and it's hard to find places that are willing to give me the amount of vegetables I am looking for.

Sitting here and watching children who are overweight at such a young age, it just fuels my desire to make a difference in this world, even more. It's up to us individually to start taking responsibility for our health and if we are parents, for our kids. Yes, fast food restaurants can be really convenient but in the long run, visiting these type of places, sets us up for horrible habits that eventually lead to all kinds of diseases and ultimately death.

I have been meeting with people who see what I see and have a great desire to reach out and help others. We can't expect to hand off our personal well being off to anyone any longer. If we don't start taking our health seriously, we will continue to suffer from the 43,000 diseases out there that would otherwise be preventable. Yes. that's right.. most diseases that people are dying from these days are PREVENTABLE. Some of you reading this may say.. "Well, I have bad genes and I got cancer because my mother had cancer." Of course there are diseases that are passed down from generation to generation but let me tell you just from my own life story is all the health problems I went into the doctor for a couple of years ago are GONE now that I have gotten healthy. My hormones used to be all over the place, I was tired all the time, my back hurt, I had irritable bowel syndrome, Poly cystic ovarian syndrome, blood in my stool, skin irritations, Candida, stinky and sweaty feet and many other little things that were bothering me. I remember just 3 years ago going into the doctor and giving him a list of 8-10 items of things I wanted him to advise me on. Now, I don't even know what I would ask him about. It just goes to show that when I started taking an active role in my own personal health and wellness, how quickly the body repaired itself. Think about it 36 years of damaging it, not caring, throwing garbage down my throat and then within as little as a few months of healthy eating, I could totally shift that. It's a miracle. Our bodies are miracles. They know how to heal from extreme abuse. Sadly to say but that is what I have done to myself for so many years is abuse the hell out of this body which carries me through life.

So... choose your death... or choose your life. What you choose to put in your mouth on a daily basis and how you treat your body will determine which road you are headed down. For me once I started to make better choices and take care of myself is when I think I really understood what it meant to BE ALIVE. It's a beautiful thing.

"ACT NOW.. and Follow Your Heart!"

Ever find yourself thinking too much when it comes to opportunities to only find out that you missed out on something that could have been huge for you in your life? Well, this is what I have been thinking a lot about lately. As many of you know, I meet and connect with sooo many people on a daily basis. So many, that people have a hard time keeping track. If you have met me in person, I tend to ask people to take a picture with them only because I have learned that if I don't, it's harder for me to remember them. The reason I bring this up is not because I expect that you take pictures with everyone you meet like me, but I want you to think how important it is to connect with others. 

Today as I was driving to my back to back appointments, I got thinking. I tend to be the type of person that when someone gives me a name of someone they think I need to connect with, I don't question it.. or take time to really think about it.. I ACT. Meaning, I get on the phone and call them right away. I can't say I am perfect at this all the time because life keeps me busy but most of the time I act pretty quickly on things. As I did that yesterday with a name, it took a couple of times of playing phone tag to finally get connected with this one man. We talked briefly and then quickly set up a time to meet first thing this morning to see if there is any chance of us working together on our different projects. As we met today, I couldn't help but tear up as we both felt there were no accidents. I explained to this man how I feel strongly about the fact that I literally work for God and as I start my day off by asking God where I need to be and who I am to be in contact with, I feel him direct me. I need to say here that I NEVER know what I am going to experience when I meet with certain people. I always just keep myself open to all possibilities and literally watch things unfold before my eyes. Today was one of those times, when I knew for sure that I was in the right place at the right time, talking to the right person. I felt as though he was an old friend whom I hadn't seen for awhile. What he has been working on is exactly what I have been working on. He had been praying for me and I had been praying for him.  When I left there, I thanked God for the connection.

The point of this experience I share with you is that you never never never know what God has in store for you. If you keep yourself so busy in life that you don't hear the direction from God, how is he able to direct you to certain people or experiences? So this got me thinking. Thinking back on the 2 most pivotal experiences I have had in the last 3 years. One was a time when a girlfriend of mine told me I needed to go to California and go through some training with her back in June of 2008. When I asked her what it was all about she just told me to trust her and go soo.. I did. I went and that started me down a road of waking up to some serious realities in my life. The second was when a friend of mine in February 2009 asked me to jump in her car and drive 6 hours to Vegas to go to a 12 Step recovery conference for Food Addiction. I didn't even know what 12 step was nor anything about food addiction. Again. .. I jumped in the car and just went.

Both of these experiences have had a HUGE impact on my life. If it were not for those 2 pivotal events, I don't think I would be where I am today.. even writing this blog. This gets me to my point of how important it is to follow our hearts. First we need to learn to trust our hearts....live a life clear of the mental clutter enough to hear the still small voice of God so we can be directed and then be willing to take action. Today, I am so grateful for blessing of following my heart and for the soo many experiences I have had witnessing to me that I am truly being guided to meet the right people. Stay open, listen to your heart.. trust your heart and then ACT NOW!

"Men NEED women to LOVE THEMSELVES!"

Think it doesn't matter how you feel about yourself women.. THINK AGAIN! I proposed the question on Facebook the other day asking men how important it is that women in their lives love themselves. I got immediate reaction.. in private of course through Private messages as well as chats. This is a HUGE deal for Men. I can't tell you how many men have come to me and told me how much this has affected them and many times was a huge factor in their divorce.

What is it about us women that doesn't accept and love ourselves? I have to admit that I struggled a lot with this very problem while I was married too. My former husband would tell me I was beautiful and I would just throw his comments to the curb. I also remember my old boss giving me praise for all the hard work I was doing and every single time I would down play it or minimize the comments. I can't say I thought much of myself back then. Although if I didn't get the praise, I also became resentful. I would often ask repetitively to my former husband why he didn't show more affection towards me or tell me he loved me more. It was almost like I had a hole in my soul that never could get filled. I remember him telling me that even if he did compliment me, it never was enough. Ever feel like you are always asking .. and asking.. and never getting enough to feel fulfilled? As many of you know, I have come a long way. Being in the relationship I am now, I am soo grateful to know that I don't NEED his affection, his praise or acceptance, although it's nice. It's a totally different way of living. I am here to tell you that you CAN recover from this hole in your soul. You CAN get to the point where you KNOW deep inside of you your value whether anyone else ever tells you so. I found it by going straight to GOD. He is ultimately the only one who can truly validate me.

It is really hard on men to watch their women whom they love very much.. not love themselves. They keep asking me how they can get their ex wives involved with me or their wives without hurting their feelings. I don't have an answer to that other than, someone has to want to want help and be ready to begin the journey of loving themselves in order to make the necessary shifts.

I am developing content on a program called "Falling in Love with yourself, one body part at a time." I woke up the other day quite early with my mind racing with content around this subject. I couldn't fall back to sleep so I got writing. I couldn't help but think what a difference our lives would be like if we really truly learned to fall in love with ourselves. I am not talking about in a selfish way.. I am talking in a very authentic appreciative way. If you feel you are ready to make that journey, let me know. I will be introducing some online communities here soon and some other programs to help you along the way.

"There is something brewing in the UNIVERSE for sure!"

As I walked away for the last time from a job that I held for 6 1/2 years last year, I couldn't help to feel a bit of trepidation wondering if I had lost my mind. I had been a property manager over a large apartment complex working with college age kids and had very much enjoyed many aspects and at the same time I have to admit it was one of the most challenging jobs I had ever experienced at the same time. I grew a ton, personal and professionally and was grateful for every moment of it.

At the time, I had just recently got a divorce, hit my goal weight and of course felt the distinct message that it was finally time for me to walk away from my very stable income to jump into a world of uncertainty. Although I felt a great amount of encouragement and faith, there was this feeling that everything was going to be ok. I guess you have to have known me to know what a HUGE risk and leap of faith this was for me.  So I began my walk down life where I started to connect with all these like minded people. I would attend conference after conference meeting more and more people who felt like they had been called to some higher purpose in life to help others. You mean I wasn't the only one? It astounded me as day in and day out I kept meeting more and more people who felt exactly as I did. I started seeing a pattern of how God speaks to me as well to many others whom I was meeting. It's not a quiet little voice of some sorts.. it's more like a HUGE SHOVE. Yeah.. that's right, a force to be recon with. As I started to contemplate my departure from my former marriage, life and job, it almost felt like I literally had NO CHOICE to stay where I was. It almost felt like I was bursting at my pant seems to get out of what I was doing at the time and step into a whole new pair of pants. Pants I had never thought I could or would fit into. These are the BIG GIRL PANTS.

As scary as that has seemed at times, I also am in such gratitude for the support not only God has given me but the people he has put into my life to help me along the way. It was almost like He called me to this work of helping and inspiring others... and then threw all these tools, inspiration, people... trainings in my way to show me the way. I can't say it's always been easy but God has provided me exactly what I have needed at the exact time I needed it.

So, the point is, I am NOT alone. I am not the only one who has walked away from a stable job to pursue this dream of inspiring others. I am not the only one out there that feels this force shoving me into the healing world. I am not the only one who has this message to share that WE MATTER. I am not the only one who has been given gifts to help guide people into stepping into the light and waking up.

It's awesome to see the gathering happen. There is a literal gathering that is happening on this planet. If you don't see it, start looking for it. It's a matter of time that we start healing this world, one soul at time.... one family at a time.. one community at a time. Be open to what God has to teach you because you never know when it will be your time when he calls you to this work of reaching out and lifting someone else.

"Knowledge is NOT power. Knowledge put into ACTION is Power on SPEED!"

We all love to say "I KNOW!" But do we really? Know what? If you aren't living it, how can you possibly think you know it let alone believe it. I think back of how many times in my life that I have gotten to a point where I think I know something only to look at my results to see that I am missing something. For instance, someone might say to me.. "Becky, it's really vital that you get your 8 hours of sleep a night to be healthy." This is something I have struggled with for quite some time. My common answer to them is. "I know.. I know!" If I really knew, I would be doing it. How many times do we all do that? We all know it would be better for us to eat healthy, take better care of ourselves and put ourselves first but how many of us actually do it and what stops us from doing those things that we know better? Well, that is a loaded question.

For me it all came down to falling in love with myself and learning how important I am to me. Most people who have struggled with weight issues or been on diets their entire life.. up and down and up and down are EXPERTS at what we should or shouldn't be eating. I remember once being in the gym after many years of working with all kinds of different personal trainers telling a friend of mine that I would be an amazing personal trainer but who in the heck would listen to me. I was well over 100 lbs overweight. I could also tell you all the different diets out there.. what you should be eating, how much as well as what NOT to do .. so why wasn't I doing it? Back then, I remember wondering the same thing. What was stopping me? Why was this losing weight so dang hard and why does it sound so easy but so dang hard?

I get the question all the time.. "What was the defining moment when you decided enough was enough?" It wasn't just one moment. It was a series of events that brought me to the point where I was ready. It took one small decision or step in the right direction and then just staying the course one day at a time til I got to where I am today.

Knowledge is just knowledge until you put it into ACTION. That is why I say ... A.C.T. = Action Creates Transformation. It was once said by someone "God can't drive a parked car!" It's true. You have to choose to get in the car turn it on.... and TAKE YOUR DARN FOOT OFF THE BRAKE in order to get moving. The problem is so many of us allow all our fears and doubts as well as past failures to keep us from moving forward. I love to think of that as us sitting in the car with your foot on that brake and your hand with the emergency brake pulled back as far as it can go. It's so silly what we do. I know when I took a HUGE step back and looked at what I was doing to myself.. no wonder I was stuck. No wonder I couldn't move forward and create different results. If you find yourself in the same place than take a look at those areas in your life where you have your foot on the brake and TRUST God to show you the HOW of letting go. Once you move that car, even a little tiny bit, God now can help. Get into action.. decide right this very moment to get into action and to trust. Believe me it's soo much easier than you think. Believe in yourself... I believe in you. Let me know how it goes.

"Your RESULTS in life are a direct reflection of your Beliefs!" What beliefs are holding you back?

Ever wondered how much your self talk (inner dialogue) really affects your outside world and your results? Well, studies have shown what you believe has a DIRECT affect on your results. I will show you. This is not new and many people teach in all kinds of different ways but this is what resonates for me.

So say your RESULT that you are not happy with is being overweight.

RESULT = Being overweight   

ACTIONS = Over eat, don't eat, Eat unhealthy Foods, don't exercise, Isolates 

FEELINGS = Discouraged, lonely, stressed, hopelessness, self pity, fear

BELIEFS = "I am not good enough"  or "I'll never succeed" or "Losing Weight is HARD"

Can you see how when you have an underlining belief of "Losing weight is HARD" that you are creating the very result of making losing weight difficult by your belief? People that have positive results, think differently .. act differently have different feelings and most importantly have completely different beliefs.

Now, for me when I changed my core belief around weight loss it TOTALLY changed my results. So let me take you through the same exact equation using a healthy positive belief.

 RESULTS = Healthy Body, Mind and Soul

ACTIONS= Exercise, Eat Healthy foods, Meditate, Mindful of themselves and their bodies, Productive, Organized, Peaceful

FEELINGS = Joy, Fulfilled, Peace, Inspired, Contentment, Passion, 

BELIEF = "I am of Great Value" or "I Matter"or "I am Enough" or "I am POWERFUL"

So to answer the question, 'Do our beliefs dictate our results in our lives?'... ABSOLUTELY! If you don't believe it, take any result in your life and plug it in this equation and check it out.  Work this formula for things you are experiencing in your life and you will find that these faulty core beliefs are at the very root of the problem and when you choose to change those beliefs, you change your results. I have seen this happen several times over in my own life. Again this is no destination, it's just a matter of getting to the very core.. choosing to shift the belief and then watch how your results shift. There is no right or wrong with this. We all have beliefs that are causing us to get undesirable results. We pick them up along the way in life. It's just a matter of being willing to do the work and then watching the miracles to happen and you begin to experience great RESULTS. 

"Attitude is EVERYTHING"

So tonight as I was leaving a Doterra Oil event, I was explaining to a friend of mine a few real challenges I am experiencing right now and she turned to me and said, "And you have a smile on your face." I got thinking. You know just as I wrote last time on the fact that I create my own life, it goes for my attitude as well.

I could be home crying and cursing God for some of the greatest challenges I have ever experienced but instead I show my gratitude for each moment in the way I choose to live my life. It's really your choice. I guess the one thing that keeps me going each day is that I know that everything in life has a purpose and how I choose to live it will determine whether or not I am living in Hell or Heaven.

I can't tell you just how incredibly grateful I am for the peace I have felt the last week. I live for that peace... even when everything seems to be crashing all around me. I am in the process of writing a blog about the struggles I have had with anxiety and how I have used essential oils in working through them. I am a huge believer in using more natural ways .. some may say alternative ways to helping me through life's challenges.

‎"Hold on, be patient for just a tiny bit longer. It's almost here.  Take a deep

breath and believe!" - Dawni  Christensen

So my challenge to you tonight.. as I sit here swinging on my porch, listening to beautiful music and hearing the beautiful sound of crickets is to check your attitude and if you find that it may be time for an adjustment just decide to adjust. It comes down to a conscious decision. Decide RIGHT NOW to choose peace over war and you will find the necessary balance you are looking for. God desires for you to feel peace. It's His heavenly way of giving you a huge HUG & KISS. Well.. at least that is how I see it. You are SOOO worth the God Kiss so SHIFT and create a whole new attitude if you need to.

"I Create my Life.. My Life Doesn't Create Me!"

How many times in life do we think we are just victims of our circumstances? I have learned through the school of hard knocks that this is NOT true. I truly am the creator of my own life. I know I have written on this but it's true. When I have taken the time to plan my food, my day, my activities out, I get soo much more out of life. The days that I allow take over me... I always seem to ask myself the question .."Where did the day go?" So for me something that has worked extremely good is that if I know I am going to be gone all day away from my home, that I prepare and pack all my food and carry it with me. This way I spend about 15-20 minutes preparing it and then I am done for the day... I don't have to ever think about it again. Back in the good old days I would spend almost my entire day thinking what I was going to eat, how much and where .. oh and don't forget all the shame rockin around in my head about what others would think of me as I ate certain foods. Now I prepare.. carry it with me.. and then just EAT IT. Oh.. and by the way, I LOVE my food. For those of you out there that know me personally and get the chance to be around me when I eat my food.. I am always doing the "YUMMY" sound while eating. I never thought healthy food tasted so good til I started eating it on a regular basis. Healthy food doesn't have to be boring. I couldn't eat like this if it didn't taste good.

So I was a guest on a radio show today where we talked about this very point in how important it is to live life on purpose and prepare. I can't stress enough what a difference this has made for me in my own life. We have been conditioned to think living a healthy life or eating well is HARD. STOP IT.. .. I am here to tell you otherwise. It's as easy or as hard as you want to make it. I remember for years me having that belief that losing weight was hard. Yes it takes work and I am not going to lie about that.. but it's NOT HARD. It takes living life one day at a time and making one small healthy decision at a time then another .. then another... and eventually you make it to the place you want to be.

I am not one that tells you that there is some grandiose destination... but I will tell you that as you do make those steps in the right direction, there is a TON of peace and balance that is waiting for you. Choose to create your life... and don't fall prey to the idea that you have to deal with what life gives you. STAND UP and take charge. Just as anything in life needs a director, be the director and create the life you want one moment at a time.

"Life...PEACE be unto You!"

The ebb and flows of life are quite interesting to watch. I look back on my own life and what has happened in the last year in a half and I am just amazed at where I have come from, where I am now and where I am headed. Do you ever ask the question, "What's NEXT?" I ask that all the time. Even though I am not big on trying to predict the future I do feel very strongly that there are things on this earth I am to learn and then share with billions of people.

I was writing an email to a friend of mine today expressing to her this feeling that I have had for quite sometime but I KNOW I wasn't just placed on this planet at this time to just exist. I KNOW I have certain things I am here to do. Certain people's lives to touch and inspire and with that being said, I know it's not about me. As more and more people are awakening to this universal calling, we are gaining strength in numbers to do God's work. People need healing. What I have gotten lately is that I have had to literally walk through my own hell first in order to really KNOW first hand how to help and lift others. The greatest teachers are those who teach from experience... and as tough as life has been at times, I also just keep telling myself that it's all part of my story. Every moment, thought and experience holds with it an energy which I draw on frequently to connect with others. Keeping that kind of perspective has kept me with my chin up and my body in motion. Yes, there are times when I want to give up, but then I step back and remember the eternal perspective of things and know that as I draw on the strength of the Lord, I am on His errand and with Him, nothing is impossible.

We all have a purpose and a mission to accomplish here. It's our choice to wake up to it.. search it out.. and ask the right questions to find direction. This process for me has taken me to my knees multiple times. It's not been an easy thing for me. I have searched, I have pleaded with the Lord, I have fasted and prayed and have sought out advice from many to find what I would call my TRUE NORTH. Ultimately though the only true source of truth is from God. I can find peace through Him. I am the one living with blinders on .... He sees the whole picture. He knows what I need to learn and how I need to learn it. I am sure it is hard on Him at times to see me struggle but knowing the end from the beginning He has the knowledge that I will be ok. He sends me angels, daily miracles and impressions to help guide me through this life.

So .. if you find yourself at times wondering. You are NOT alone! Know it's a matter of time if you are willing to put forth the effort to search and be willing to have your ears open to God's message and purpose for you. More than anything I seek to have PEACE in my life. I seek to help others feel peace from whatever it is they struggle with. Peace to me is being one with God and that is where I choose to be in this very moment.