Sunday, February 19, 2012

"One of the hardest things to do... FORGIVE YOURSELF!"

Why do you think forgiving ourselves is so hard sometimes? Well, at least for me, I grew up thinking I needed to be perfect at everything I did or else I wasn't acceptable. I spent a lot of time comparing myself to others and I never seemed to measure up. I would always think "What's wrong with me that I can't seem to figure things out like everyone else. Everyone else is happy when I am literally dying inside." I couldn't figure it out til many years later when I realized that I wasn't born to be perfect. It wasn't even part of the plan. I was given weakness in order to learn and grow. Otherwise what would be the purpose of this mortal life? 

So once I realized I was placed here with weakness, I had to accept my imperfections as being PERFECT in and of themselves. Wow.. that was a challenge to let go of that reality. I had to start with not beating myself up. I had to start with allowing myself to make mistakes and to show patience as I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. I am really really good at making pages and pages of TO DO lists and setting myself up for overwhelm. Recently it's been a practice of mine to allow myself to think .."I do my very best and let go of the rest." I had to think that way or else I would find myself back in that place of self pity. 

So.. I make certain choices sometimes that stop me from progressing in life, SO WHAT. I say.. so what not because I give myself permission or justify my actions but rather allow myself to look at what I have done or not done as a learning opportunity and move on. Sometimes that requires me asking others for forgiveness, sometimes it's just a matter of recommitting to myself and moving on. I have always been someone that moves on pretty quickly once I have noticed my wrong doing. I don't care to stay in that negative place very long. Although I do have to say, there is a difference between shutting a door and moving on .. and taking the time to look at what happened, take responsibility for my actions and then asking for forgiveness and THEN moving on. 

I always like to say.. "I am IMPERFECTLY PERFECT!" Meaning I am perfect just the way I am. Forgiving myself has been a process of learning to LOVE myself and accept my imperfections. The quicker you forgive, the quicker you can move on to better things. I like what a good friend of mine says.. "Fail faster so you can success quicker!" Isn't that true? Don't allow yourself to beat yourself up. It doesn't do you any good. By the way, this also applies very much to relationships too. As I was talking to a good friend of mine last night, I realized how important it is to forgive quickly the other person for their imperfections. I don't believe we wake up in the morning with the intention to hurt ourselves or others, we just do sometimes. Take a good look at it.. take responsibility and then move on. 

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