Saturday, April 9, 2011
"Baiting the Hook"
I can't stress enough the importance of getting a support team of people around you to help you achieve what it is you want to in life. Just tonight on one of my outreach calls, I was honest in telling a friend of mine that I was struggling. It wasn't long after the call that she showed up at my door to come and support me. What a blessing she was. I cried with her and allowed my soul to leak. I tend to take a lot on myself and sometimes I just need to be still. I spent other time today just meditating trying to find my center and to find my purpose again. Seems to be a common thing for me right now. Not right or wrong.. just is. While going through this process of change and of healing it sometimes gets a bit uncomfortable. I refer to myself as a diamond in the rough. Diamonds are NOT made by applying a minimal amount of pressure. Diamonds are created by a huge amount of pressure. That is what makes them beautiful. I have to trust the process. Trust that things will come clear when they will and that the right people and the right opportunities will present themselves when they are suppose to.
Another gift I got from this day was the gift of connecting with others. I spend a lot of time in creation and not so much in recreation... meaning just getting out. I know that sounds kind of strange but it's true. I am soo focused on what I need to be doing that I don't take the time to just BE social. I am reaching out, learning to let go.. allowing others to bait my hook and learning to BE me... my authentic, beautiful, loving person that I am.
I can't say that I have always been this way. As I have written many times before I have allowed little things hold me back from me being me and allowing myself to be seen by others. I was so afraid of so many things that it kept me in hiding. Hiding from myself and others. I didn't want to be seen for fear of rejection. That darn rejection thing comes up for so many of us.
I was talking to a friend of mine that reads my blog religiously about the little things that we hold onto that keep us stuck. Gosh, for her it's not wanting to give up the yogurt she is eating.. yogurt???.. for me it was muffins. Doesn't it just sound silly? What are you holding onto that is holding you back from making the choice to get healthy? What is it about making a decision to just let go even for one meal or one day? For me it's the lack of trust in if I will be ok. I know logically I am ok.. but it's in that deepest part of me that thinks I can't live without it. As for my muffins.. it's been over 2 years now without sugar and flour and I am totally fine. Its always a beautiful thing when I hear someone in our program tell me about the huge change they have noticed even within a few days of being off sugar and flour. It always puts a smile on my face.
Well a commitment I made to myself was to get to bed earlier so that I can get the sleep my body needs and I am not perfect at it but am heading in the right direction so I need to head out.