Sunday, May 22, 2011

"All These Things Shall Give You Experience"

You know sometimes you don't know why certain things are happening in your life til time passes and you can look back and see clearly the big picture. It always amazes me how much of the last few years I have been carried through some really tough things and I also can see how it has all played a part of who I am today in making me as healthy as I am. I look back on relationships.. friendships.. hard times.. good times... as well as all the times I doubted myself and really.. doubted God and His Ultimate Power. Truly knowing that God is all Powerful.. . why would I ever doubt Him and His Glory. A song that has carried through some of my darkest night has been one by Jeff Berry Band called "Prayer." Here are the lyrics to the song.


Thou hast said to walk on water
But I stumble in the sand
Oh, to run and not grow weary
Jesus come and hold my hand
Promise me Thou won’t forsake me
For my life depends on Thee
Engrave it on my heart reminding
That Your truth has set me free
For I believe, yes I believe
Please help my unbelief
For I believe, yes I believe
Oh Lord,
Please help my unbelief
Thou art great and full of light
That no eye can yet unpeel
Please give to me only through your might
A heart that longs to kneel

I was talking to a friend of mine last night about what comes so naturally to me now and realizing just how far I have come. Nothing in life is easy ...but it is possible to have everything you want to have and more if you stay focused on the goal and take it one day at a time. God desires us to have the deepest desires of our hearts come true. It may not be in our time table but believe me, it will happen. As we learn to better create what we want in life... heal from past wounds and then stand in a place of acceptance, we will receive ALL of our hearts desires. This is what I am learning right now. Sometimes God remembers better than I do what I desire. Something will come up and I will say to myself 'oh.. that's right, I have always wanted to do that.' It's so funny to me.

Recently as I have been stepping into the public eye more and more I realize how I have been prepared for this my whole life. I had someone who has been watching me on Facebook say to me that he thought he knew who I was until he started seeing more more goofy side of me. When I decided to join forces with Christian Jensen in doing the Radio Show, something inside of me woke up. It's this funny side of me who likes to make people laugh. I have never been confident enough with who I am to step into that place but the more and more I do.... I LOVE IT. That is WHO I am. It's soo much fun to be comfortable in my skin. I have NEVER experienced this much peace around who I am before.

I have to say, I love when I am writing and I have my piano music on in the background and the peaceful feelings I feel as I write from my heart to yours. It's almost like I know each and everyone of you and can feel what you feel. I know the pain that you all experience at times, the doubt, the questioning of your worth, the fear around what the future holds, the desire to feel like you have to control everything in your life and if you don't it will spin out of control. All of these thoughts I have.. the difference with me these days is I am getting better at just letting go and letting God take these worries KNOWING I am doing His work and He will provide for me. I can't say it's always easy....and sometimes I have to remind myself that I am ok in the moment and to re frame my thoughts to stay in the present.

Another thing that has been on my mind is this concept of being right on the edge of something HUGE happening. I have talked to many people about this. There are several of us that feel like major success is right around the corner if we can all just hang on. I don't  know if it's the SHIFT that is occurring or what but many are feeling it. So the question comes up, how do you hang in there when things get really tight? Well.. what's worked for me is to do everything I can to stay in the moment and to not try and change what happened in my life or try and control the future. It's vital for me to be in gratitude and love for the very day and sometimes the moment I am currently living.

I love the many opportunities there are in life. I am experiencing soo much right now and I am soo grateful for every day that I get to live. I am learning to take action on things quicker and then at the same time take time for me and to find the balance in all of it. I am grateful for the people I am meeting and at the same time connecting with the fact that even though some of these celebrities and high profile people are well known they are no different than I or any of you are. They worry about life too. It's kind of funny that I don't know who many of them are.. but I kind of like it that way because then I just get to know them for who they are not what they have done. It's awesome!

Well.... I guess my message to you tonight is to allow yourself to be in the moment and know that everything you are experiencing is just part of your story. The less you fight that fact, the more you will enjoy and embrace life.

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