As many of you know I got divorced a year ago and was in a very abusive marriage for 7 1/2 years. As with anyone there is a lot of healing that one has to go through in order to come out of that kind of relationship and be ok. Well.. tonight's experience showed me that there are miracles to be experienced if we allow ourselves to be open to experiencing them. Although there are soo many horrible divorce stories out there, I look back on my own personal journey and know that there are no accidents. It's true. Many people have asked me how I was able to heal from such a horrible experience so quickly. Well, of course when I was going through it it didn't seem to move quickly but looking back it was a blink of an eye. I know that all healing takes time and as I threw tons of energy into it, one day at a time, I found myself where I was tonight which allowed me to be open to experiencing a miracle happen.
It just so happen that my neighbor and I were sitting on my porch swing tonight when my former husband came by whom I haven't seen for over 4 months. He needed to bring by something so I let her know that he was on his way. Soon enough he ran up the stairs and greeted us, surprised to see us sitting outside. Immediately I could sense his discomfort with the situation as he engaged in a e conversation with my neighbor mostly until he realized it was safe to open up to me as well. We had had conversations back in December where we had made amends towards each other and so I knew the doors had been opened to healing between us. Although since then, he has remarried and my life seems to be taking off in a completely different direction.
Soon the conversation lead to him explaining what he was up to and how he had come a long way and was feeling for the first time in his life, peace. We were both genuinely excited for him . There was no judgment towards him nor did I feel any kind of negative or resistant emotion. I remember tonight sitting there looking at him and feeling this HUGE surge of love and appreciation for him as he explained where he was in his life. I also felt a lot of gratitude that we were no longer together. Not good or bad.. just was. At some point in the conversation, it turned to me and he was interested in knowing what I was up to. Was I really having this conversation after many months of not communicating? This was my thought. I almost felt as though I was having an out of body experience but instead was feeling a huge amount of love in my heart for him. It was strange.
Finally we got to a point in the conversation where we acknowledged what a gift our 7 1/2 years of a marriage was to each of us. It was beautiful to watch how we both thanked each other for the gifts we were in each other's life. He went to shake my hand and I couldn't help but get up and give him a huge hug. My heart was sooo full of love we just stood there and embraced one another as he told me that he would always love me and I said the same back to him. My eyes welled up with tears as I felt the purest love flow from me to him. We held each other for awhile as the tears ran down my face. As I finally backed away from him I could see that he was touched by the gesture. At that very moment I can say I know what true forgiveness feels like and I knew we had both been freed from the bondage we kept ourselves in for so long. He left and my neighbor and I were left with tears running down our faces and silence in the air. I finally turned to her and said, "We just witnessed a miracle... Did you see that?" We agreed and without saying anything knew without a shadow of a doubt, we had just seen a literal miracle.
I can't thank my former husband enough for making the effort and being willing to forgive. I truly married a great man. In many ways.. I couldn't see it nor would I allow that side of him to shine. At the same time I can be in full blown gratitude that we have both gone our way and now live very different separate lives. Thank you.. Thank you .. Thank you to God for allowing me to experience yet another deeper level of healing in this journey of mine.