Sunday, October 24, 2010

Reflections

On this day I have spent quite a bit of time reflecting on this journey I have been on. As for the physical transformation it has taken a few months of being at my goal weight for me to let it settle in but there are still times when I look in the mirror and spend a few minutes connecting with this women I see now. I don't know if that will ever end but I am soo grateful for the blessings I have in my life. As I reflect on the other ways my life has completely transformed, I ponder on my different behaviors. As I write my story, I just can't believe how much my thinking has changed from unhealthy obsessive thoughts to now thoughts of peace. Maybe even more impactful has been the transformation in my mind by far. I spend a fair amount of time each day in silence or listening to piano music. It helps me feel peace and get connected with who I am and where my thoughts are taking me. This way I can be more conscious of my life.

Today as the rain fell, I couldn't help but think of how the earth is being made clean just as I have through my journey of discovery. In many respects God has made me clean from all the junk I carried around for so many years. I relate differently with people, I love more deeply, I connect with others on a very deep level, I see the beauty in the world and in others including myself, I give more of myself and overall am open to the many blessings that come my way. This is the life I always had drempt of living but had no clue how to get it. It took me turning my will over to God and letting him do for me what I was unable to do for myself. It really was that "EASY!" It doesn't mean it happened over night. I got to where I am, taking one step at a time, living life one day at a time. I still very much live that way. I just can't afford to go back to where I used to be.

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