Today as I sat listening to Kurt Bestor at the Utah Women's Conference, I was overcome with joy in my heart for who I am in this moment of my life and how far I have come. The last few days have been tough for me but as I work through somethings, I realized the important part of my recovery was being missed. So as I sat there listening to this beautiful music, a few rows back, I was impressed to open up my journal and start a list of positive affirmations. They seemed to just flow. I don't know if it was the music or my soul starving for positive thoughts. See, I have been spending a lot of time trying to get to the core of the shame I have carried around for years. This is not always a pleasant experience for me but it has to come to the surface in order for me to release it. It was time now for me to allow my spirit to connect with "WHO" I truly am. Each one of us is divine. What happens is we forget who we are.... and attach "WHAT" we are to who we are and tell ourselves that we aren't worthy of the blessings that are already ours. See, the addict is not "WHO" I am, it's just "WHAT" I am. There is a difference there. One is full of shame. As I stay in the place of shame, I then discount my divinity. I was born worthy of God's love and acceptance. That has not changed from the beginning of time.
See, it's kind of like working a muscle. In order to get stronger, I have to tear the muscle by pushing the weight with my muscles. As the muscle works, it gets torn and often hurts but then starts the process of healing. I can't expect the muscle to get stronger if I am un"willing" to work the muscle and push myself. The beautiful part of this process is that our own divine bodies know how to repair and build our muscles on their own. In the end, I am stronger and able to do more. So it is with our lives. I have had to learn to look at EVERY experience I have as an opportunity for growth. On the other side of the challenge is the strength but it has taken courage on my part to push through it.
I challenge you to turn on some inspiring music and write out a list of your own positive affirmations. Let your soul speak to you truth. Review these affirmations at times when you feel yourself forgetting your true divinity. Dig deep to find the absolute truth about you and believe that it is true. Keep digging until your soul decides its enough. It was very healing for me to have the experience I did today. I am grateful for the impression I received and my willingness to follow it.