Monday, September 27, 2010

Finding my Own Voice

As I went on my run this morning, a song came on my ipod which made me reflect on life. The name of the song is called "My own Voice." At first I thought I would just run the shorter 2 mile run but then I got thinking how many times I take the easy road out so I decided to push myself today. When I was filming my audition video for Oprah I kept telling myself that I had to do the 12 lines perfectly in order for me to feel good about my video but it wasn't until after about an hour of starting over and over again that the guy shooting the video suggested me working on 3 lines at a time and then he would cut and edit the film. I look back and think of all the time I wasted trying to do it perfectly on the first try. He helped me realize that in order to succeed at anything in life, I needed to learn to do it just one baby step at a time. Suddenly the pressure of my perfection came to a screeching halt and the weight of what seemed like an impossible task became manageable. It's not that I didn't know this concept but now it was something I was experiencing. Then I thought of this huge undertaking I had just taken in losing 130 lbs. I didn't just wake up one day and poof... the weight was gone. It took me being willing to take ONE STEP AT A TIME.. and my steps took the form of the 12 steps of recovery from food addiction. What a blessing the 12 steps are for me in my life.

So as I was running this morning, there were times when I sprinted.. times when I was at a steady jog and sometimes when I just walked. Isn't that just like life. I found myself going into my shame about the fact I wasn't sprinting and pushing myself 100% of the time but then I would catch myself and say 'you can't be running full force 100% of the time, you will burn out!' In those moments, I gave myself permission to just be where I was. During the run, I also found myself setting goals to run a certain distance, and then found myself pushing myself beyond my little milestones. I believe no matter where we are in life, is absolutely perfect for us. God is very aware of where we are and wants soo much to support us, we just have to learn to turn to him and surrender to His will.

So the song that I am listening to right this second is... "Get out of your head and into your hearts!" Isn't that soo true. "Lay down your fears.. swallow your tears and look to your heart!" I believe we have all the answers to our questions right inside of us. We were created perfectly with everything that we need to succeed. It's when we believe the lies that Satan tells us about ourselves that we get stuck. It's all just information. Take the information that your life is giving you and MOVE in a positive direction ONE STEP AT A TIME. Believe when you are in partnership with God ..that the possibilities are ENDLESS.

As for "My Own Voice" I learned today that I first need to know and appreciate who I am and what my own truth is in order to live the life that I desire. This has been a huge step in my growth this past year in a half. I can't say I am perfect at it but as I spend time each day reflecting on my thoughts and my feelings I get better at tuning into my own truths and then being vulnerable to share them with others.

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