If you want to learn more about Sean go to his website at http://www.timetostand.com/.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Meeting Sean Stevenson Sep 2009
If you want to learn more about Sean go to his website at http://www.timetostand.com/.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Manifesting
I woke up at 5:20 am this morning and decided to take on the challenge that Bob Proctor talked about last night on a coaching call. I woke up did the 3 things which were...
1-1st thing out of bed - write 10 things you are grateful for
2-Sit in silence for 5 Minutes - Take Direction
3-Send good positive energy to people who bug you in your life. (I imagine that person being in front of me and as I look into their eyes, I imagine myself saying to them.. "I love you, I accept you for exactly who you are and thank you for being apart of my life.")
If you would like to listen to the call click here
I did that this morning and WOW .. what a difference it made in my day today. Talk about being manifesting. I was so connected to source or otherwise known as God. I feel the connections I made today were absolutely perfect. It's interesting the more clear I get with my vision and goals, the quicker things start manifesting. I know I have heard many people talk about this and at the same time only experience it here and there. I have to say the more I keep my self centered, clear and connected the quicker this process comes about.
So when it comes to these connections, it's only been about 5 months that I really have been actively working to get my message of hope out to the world. I believe it all began when I met a good friend of mine. It almost seems as though everything shifted for me then. He happens to have been a very public speaker for the past 7 years and has traveled all over the world. From that point, I started to meet all kinds of public speakers and it has just exploded.
Joining NSA (National Speakers Association) was one of the best decisions I have made for making connections and learning from the best. I guess I have had a desire to be a public speaker for awhile but had no idea how it was all going to come together. Now I am talking on a daily basis to people that are pros at what they do and love it. This world of speakers is VERY small. Within the last 5 months it's been interesting to see who I have been able to meet and connect with and learn from.
I tell you all this because for me it all started with a DESIRE to be something.. a speaker. All tangible things start out as thoughts and then they move into the physical world as we start looking for evidences of them showing up. I can't tell you how many successful people have shared that in order to manifest or create a certain outcome it begins with having the desire.. the thought and then believing .. truly believing that it will come about. "What we focus on expands." This applies to our goals as well. When we get clear on what we want and the "Why" we want those things is big enough, people (connections) start flowing into your energy at a rate that you never thought was possible.
For instance, this applies also to weight loss. If your goal is to "release" weight, set the intention, know the why you want it and then get to work and be in action and God will direct you to a certain person or a program you need to accomplish your goal. If you are not willing to do what's necessary to get the results than from my experience it doesn't work.
I will be writing more about this another night but just a few thoughts I have had today on the subject. Picked up a bunch of his Books "Aspire" from Kevin Hall today. He is such a neat guy. I highly recommend getting his book. It will change your life. I know how much it affected me last week as I began studying it. For any of you that would like to listen into Kevin's weekly coaching calls (which are awesome by the way) I got permission from him to invite you to attend them by clicking "The Power of Words" website and sign up for his newsletter and they will email you the links so you can listen to them and download them if you would like.
It's been an awesome day and I am sending all my love and appreciation to all of you out there. I know life can be tough but I will end with this last thought.
As I was on one of my sponsee calls this morning I was reminded of a lesson my father taught me many years ago in life about .."Whether you think you CAN or whether you think you CAN'T... you're right!" I kept hearing my sponsee say to me, "I can't this.. and I can't that." I have to say back to her, "If you say so." It's true when we tell ourselves we can't do something sure enough we open the space to give us what we ask for. It's like the line from a movie .."As you Wish." Well, God works the same way. He only knows how to give you what you ask for.
So be more aware of those thoughts in your head and how you phrase things. It truly does matter. It's the energy you put around those thoughts that create your results. Just a thought. Til tomorrow.... Keep on Creating.
1-1st thing out of bed - write 10 things you are grateful for
2-Sit in silence for 5 Minutes - Take Direction
3-Send good positive energy to people who bug you in your life. (I imagine that person being in front of me and as I look into their eyes, I imagine myself saying to them.. "I love you, I accept you for exactly who you are and thank you for being apart of my life.")
If you would like to listen to the call click here
I did that this morning and WOW .. what a difference it made in my day today. Talk about being manifesting. I was so connected to source or otherwise known as God. I feel the connections I made today were absolutely perfect. It's interesting the more clear I get with my vision and goals, the quicker things start manifesting. I know I have heard many people talk about this and at the same time only experience it here and there. I have to say the more I keep my self centered, clear and connected the quicker this process comes about.
So when it comes to these connections, it's only been about 5 months that I really have been actively working to get my message of hope out to the world. I believe it all began when I met a good friend of mine. It almost seems as though everything shifted for me then. He happens to have been a very public speaker for the past 7 years and has traveled all over the world. From that point, I started to meet all kinds of public speakers and it has just exploded.
Joining NSA (National Speakers Association) was one of the best decisions I have made for making connections and learning from the best. I guess I have had a desire to be a public speaker for awhile but had no idea how it was all going to come together. Now I am talking on a daily basis to people that are pros at what they do and love it. This world of speakers is VERY small. Within the last 5 months it's been interesting to see who I have been able to meet and connect with and learn from.
I tell you all this because for me it all started with a DESIRE to be something.. a speaker. All tangible things start out as thoughts and then they move into the physical world as we start looking for evidences of them showing up. I can't tell you how many successful people have shared that in order to manifest or create a certain outcome it begins with having the desire.. the thought and then believing .. truly believing that it will come about. "What we focus on expands." This applies to our goals as well. When we get clear on what we want and the "Why" we want those things is big enough, people (connections) start flowing into your energy at a rate that you never thought was possible.
For instance, this applies also to weight loss. If your goal is to "release" weight, set the intention, know the why you want it and then get to work and be in action and God will direct you to a certain person or a program you need to accomplish your goal. If you are not willing to do what's necessary to get the results than from my experience it doesn't work.
I will be writing more about this another night but just a few thoughts I have had today on the subject. Picked up a bunch of his Books "Aspire" from Kevin Hall today. He is such a neat guy. I highly recommend getting his book. It will change your life. I know how much it affected me last week as I began studying it. For any of you that would like to listen into Kevin's weekly coaching calls (which are awesome by the way) I got permission from him to invite you to attend them by clicking "The Power of Words" website and sign up for his newsletter and they will email you the links so you can listen to them and download them if you would like.
It's been an awesome day and I am sending all my love and appreciation to all of you out there. I know life can be tough but I will end with this last thought.
As I was on one of my sponsee calls this morning I was reminded of a lesson my father taught me many years ago in life about .."Whether you think you CAN or whether you think you CAN'T... you're right!" I kept hearing my sponsee say to me, "I can't this.. and I can't that." I have to say back to her, "If you say so." It's true when we tell ourselves we can't do something sure enough we open the space to give us what we ask for. It's like the line from a movie .."As you Wish." Well, God works the same way. He only knows how to give you what you ask for.
So be more aware of those thoughts in your head and how you phrase things. It truly does matter. It's the energy you put around those thoughts that create your results. Just a thought. Til tomorrow.... Keep on Creating.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
"Thinking into Results" - Bob Proctor
So tonight I got on a coaching call with Kevin Hall -(Author of "Aspire") and Bob Proctor from "The Secret." It was awesome. Two amazing men. Kevin and I met a couple of months ago and he counseled me on getting my story out. What an amazing man with such a huge heart. I loved listening to these two men tonight talk about what it means to live an abundant life.
It all starts with what you put out in the world. Do you create value? Do you look for opportunities to serve others? What thoughts are you entertaining everyday? You get back what you put out. It's true. This is what I have experienced. As I learn to give and serve more I am then open to receive. Energy likes to flow. If we give give give and then not allow ourselves to receive we have stopped the flow of energy. Likewise if we take take take.. and never give out we also stop the flow and often we feel a lot of frustration in our lives.
One thing that Kevin said tonight really resonated with me which was, "If I want to be free, I want to be me." You know, I am realizing how difficult it is for me to, first, find out who I am and then secondly to learn to stand in my own truth without wavering. This has taken time. Trial and error really. Sometimes I am strong and other times I find myself giving into certain things and losing my center. It's all just information and I take it as such.
Bob talked a lot about rejoicing in other's successes. I know for me sometimes I get limited with the idea that if someone else wins that I must lose or visa versa. If I win someone else must lose. I am intentionally working on shifting that mindset from scarcity to abundance. There is enough in this world to go around. Interesting to think though where did I adopt the idea that everything is a win lose situation. That's my black and white thinking that gets the best of me.
I am realizing that when I am in the flow, I serve others with all my heart. I care about what others care about and spend the time to validate them and make them feel heard. We all have this innate need to be heard and validated. I have seen some amazing shifts with people lately as I have been doing my best to just listen and try to hear what people are NOT saying. Not judge their words or their actions but serve them in anyway I can. It's actually quite fun to be honest with you. When I let go of my own agendas and put myself in a space of acceptance and service, my soul rejoices.
Towards the end of the call Bob talked specifically about something that came to him recently which I am going to start doing first thing tomorrow morning. He called it "Thinking into Results."
Step 1 .... First thing when you wake up write 10 things you are grateful for
Step 2 .... Be quiet for 5 minutes and ask for guidance
Step 3 .... Send love to those who bother you! -This is the clincher. I have a feeling that this is where most of the shifting is going to happen.
A few months ago I blogged about an experience I had while driving, when I was stopped at a light and my attention was turned to a man smoking on the corner. I thought to myself, 'doesn't this guy know that's not healthy for him?' I found my judgments coming to the service as that thought crossed my mind so right then in that moment I decided I wanted to send good energy his way so I said silently to myself ,'I love you... I accept you.. and thank you for being apart of my life.' I can't even begin to tell you what that has done for me. I began to realize when I get triggered by others it's really my own stuff that I get to look at. Smoking isn't healthy but it's not place to judge where that man is in his life. He chooses to smoke.. I chose to eat. We are the same. I learned that day to be in service to those who I judge or get triggered by. It's been a great practice for me.
I spend quite a bit of time nourishing my mind with these coaching calls or books I am reading or connecting with different people. It keeps my mind active and in the positive. While meditating last night I got some clarity when it comes to my platform and what I will be speaking on as I travel around the world telling my message of hope.
So I challenge you if it resonates with you to take on Bob's suggestions. I am going to start my day off in this 3 step process and see how it goes. Feel free to make a comment on how it worked for you.
It all starts with what you put out in the world. Do you create value? Do you look for opportunities to serve others? What thoughts are you entertaining everyday? You get back what you put out. It's true. This is what I have experienced. As I learn to give and serve more I am then open to receive. Energy likes to flow. If we give give give and then not allow ourselves to receive we have stopped the flow of energy. Likewise if we take take take.. and never give out we also stop the flow and often we feel a lot of frustration in our lives.
One thing that Kevin said tonight really resonated with me which was, "If I want to be free, I want to be me." You know, I am realizing how difficult it is for me to, first, find out who I am and then secondly to learn to stand in my own truth without wavering. This has taken time. Trial and error really. Sometimes I am strong and other times I find myself giving into certain things and losing my center. It's all just information and I take it as such.
Bob talked a lot about rejoicing in other's successes. I know for me sometimes I get limited with the idea that if someone else wins that I must lose or visa versa. If I win someone else must lose. I am intentionally working on shifting that mindset from scarcity to abundance. There is enough in this world to go around. Interesting to think though where did I adopt the idea that everything is a win lose situation. That's my black and white thinking that gets the best of me.
I am realizing that when I am in the flow, I serve others with all my heart. I care about what others care about and spend the time to validate them and make them feel heard. We all have this innate need to be heard and validated. I have seen some amazing shifts with people lately as I have been doing my best to just listen and try to hear what people are NOT saying. Not judge their words or their actions but serve them in anyway I can. It's actually quite fun to be honest with you. When I let go of my own agendas and put myself in a space of acceptance and service, my soul rejoices.
Towards the end of the call Bob talked specifically about something that came to him recently which I am going to start doing first thing tomorrow morning. He called it "Thinking into Results."
Step 1 .... First thing when you wake up write 10 things you are grateful for
Step 2 .... Be quiet for 5 minutes and ask for guidance
Step 3 .... Send love to those who bother you! -This is the clincher. I have a feeling that this is where most of the shifting is going to happen.
A few months ago I blogged about an experience I had while driving, when I was stopped at a light and my attention was turned to a man smoking on the corner. I thought to myself, 'doesn't this guy know that's not healthy for him?' I found my judgments coming to the service as that thought crossed my mind so right then in that moment I decided I wanted to send good energy his way so I said silently to myself ,'I love you... I accept you.. and thank you for being apart of my life.' I can't even begin to tell you what that has done for me. I began to realize when I get triggered by others it's really my own stuff that I get to look at. Smoking isn't healthy but it's not place to judge where that man is in his life. He chooses to smoke.. I chose to eat. We are the same. I learned that day to be in service to those who I judge or get triggered by. It's been a great practice for me.
I spend quite a bit of time nourishing my mind with these coaching calls or books I am reading or connecting with different people. It keeps my mind active and in the positive. While meditating last night I got some clarity when it comes to my platform and what I will be speaking on as I travel around the world telling my message of hope.
So I challenge you if it resonates with you to take on Bob's suggestions. I am going to start my day off in this 3 step process and see how it goes. Feel free to make a comment on how it worked for you.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Change or Die
Strong words I know but that was where I was back in February 2009. Sometimes we need to get to the absolute rock bottom before we turn our will over to God. What is it that we fear so much in giving that will over to God? I know for me it was the fear of losing control. Funny thing is that when I finally got willing to turn my will over, He then gave me the strength to overcome.
I mentioned in my last blog that I had a case of Candida and eventually that was going to turn into cancer and still I just couldn't find it within myself to let go and let God. I was in the darkest time of my life back then. My marriage was so unhealthy, I was eating myself to death, I had isolated myself from the world and from just about everything that had ever meant something to me and was buried in serious denial. I didn't know what I didn't know. I was hurting others because I was hurting deep inside. I didn't know how to stop what I was doing; I just knew something had to change.
Thank God for Angels. Even though I felt so alone and that God had abandoned me he still sent Angels into my life to help carry me through it. I look back now and see exactly when he started planting them in my life so that in the right moment they would be able to serve me in the ways I needed. For some of you, this blog and my writing may be a form of service to you. Maybe there is a reason you have been led to me and my own personal story. I can tell you from my experience, I feel very very drawn to write to you each day. It's almost as though I know you without knowing you. I feel your pain, I feel your frustration and desire sometimes to just give up and give into that darkness that takes hold of you. Well, I don't care to give much time and credit to this dark side although we all have darkness around us. I choose to live in the light and put things in place to bring me light which ultimately brings me life.
Whether you want to believe it or not, you have the ability to choose whether you live in light or darkness. When you align yourself with the powers of Heaven and allow His healing power to accompany you, He is all powerful and can create a miracle in your life. One thing he WON'T do is take your agency away from you so if you are not willing to turn to Him he will not force you to. I am one stubborn girl and it took me years to get willing but when I did, the miracle happened. "Don't give up before the miracle happens in your life." I sometimes wonder if God just shakes his head at me when he sees the choices I make. He sees the entire picture.... I only can see what I can see which is very limited. I have had to learn that God knows what's best for me and as I trust in Him, He shows me the way.
Change or Die may or may not apply to you but for me it was reality. I was slowly dying. For some of you, there are thing in your life that may or may not be weight related, that are killing you. It could be an abusive relationship or loneliness or isolation or workaholics, self esteem, debt, family problems, other addictions, or just about anything that keeps you in your own personal darkness. These issues in life are life and as you choose to look at them as gifts rather than punishments, I promise you.. you will experience a major shift in your thinking. Ask yourself, 'what is it that I need to learn from this situation?' Sometimes I ask myself, 'Why is this person in my life? What are they here to teach me?' When I ponder over my answers to these questions, I find clarity and peace. Life can be difficult. I have experienced it. I still experience it at times; the difference now is I am spending more of my time in the light because of what I choose to focus my attention on.
I personally do a lot of writing on a daily basis. Now more that I am blogging everyday but in my own personal recovery, I do recovery reading and writing daily. This keeps my mind processing. Since I was very young, I started a journal. Up until I got married, I had written a total of 20 journals. Writing was a way for me to express myself since I lived in so much isolation from a young age. Once I got married and saw signs of abuse right away, I didn't dare write that in black and white for fear someone would find out. I wrote a total of about 10 entries in 7 years of marriage. That just tells you how much I isolated and kept things to myself. Although people close to me saw signs of it all, they never really knew the truth of what we were creating in our marriage. I say WE because it took both of us to create sickness. I literally was dying. I could feel it but couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get out of it. Part of me didn't want to get out of it because I feared too much being alone. It was better to be in an abusive marriage than to face being alone forever. I had looked at friends of mine who were gorgeous and they were struggling dating, I often would ask myself the question, "if they can't get married, there is no chance of me EVER getting married.' Obviously, I don't feel that way any longer.
There are all kinds of things in our lives that we know are unhealthy for us but we still do them because we fear change. I am here to tell you that as I started to stand for myself and understand and acknowledge my own personal worth that was when the strength came to surrender to God's will for me. It was very difficult at times AND God provided beautiful Angels to be there to walk hand in hand with me through the process. My story is unique to me and doesn't have to be your story but take time to acknowledge those people that God has placed in your life to help you. Be open to allowing them to be there for you. For many of you if you are anything like me, I REALLY struggled with allowing myself to receive. Just as recent as a couple of weeks ago when I got a pedicure, I was really up against it because I couldn't see that I was worth paying someone $30 to take care of my feet in the dead of winter. Funny thing is it wasn't even my own money I was having a hard time giving up. A friend of mine gave me the money to go and get them done.
I still am learning and growing. We learn and grow side by side with each other through this journey. I do believe that we are all here to help one another. You help me... I help you. Every day I ask God to place me in people's lives that I may inspire and serve them. It's what I live for. I look for opportunities to be in service and then I thank God when those opportunities come.
The number of people reading this blog has sky rocked almost overnight and I can't tell you how much that means to me. It is a miracle and just is one more indication that I am doing God's work. Please share this blog with others that may benefit from my writings. My soul purpose in life is the Inspire
Others and to bring a Message of Hope to those still struggling and you are showing me that I am on the path in accomplishing my purpose.
I mentioned in my last blog that I had a case of Candida and eventually that was going to turn into cancer and still I just couldn't find it within myself to let go and let God. I was in the darkest time of my life back then. My marriage was so unhealthy, I was eating myself to death, I had isolated myself from the world and from just about everything that had ever meant something to me and was buried in serious denial. I didn't know what I didn't know. I was hurting others because I was hurting deep inside. I didn't know how to stop what I was doing; I just knew something had to change.
Thank God for Angels. Even though I felt so alone and that God had abandoned me he still sent Angels into my life to help carry me through it. I look back now and see exactly when he started planting them in my life so that in the right moment they would be able to serve me in the ways I needed. For some of you, this blog and my writing may be a form of service to you. Maybe there is a reason you have been led to me and my own personal story. I can tell you from my experience, I feel very very drawn to write to you each day. It's almost as though I know you without knowing you. I feel your pain, I feel your frustration and desire sometimes to just give up and give into that darkness that takes hold of you. Well, I don't care to give much time and credit to this dark side although we all have darkness around us. I choose to live in the light and put things in place to bring me light which ultimately brings me life.
Whether you want to believe it or not, you have the ability to choose whether you live in light or darkness. When you align yourself with the powers of Heaven and allow His healing power to accompany you, He is all powerful and can create a miracle in your life. One thing he WON'T do is take your agency away from you so if you are not willing to turn to Him he will not force you to. I am one stubborn girl and it took me years to get willing but when I did, the miracle happened. "Don't give up before the miracle happens in your life." I sometimes wonder if God just shakes his head at me when he sees the choices I make. He sees the entire picture.... I only can see what I can see which is very limited. I have had to learn that God knows what's best for me and as I trust in Him, He shows me the way.
Change or Die may or may not apply to you but for me it was reality. I was slowly dying. For some of you, there are thing in your life that may or may not be weight related, that are killing you. It could be an abusive relationship or loneliness or isolation or workaholics, self esteem, debt, family problems, other addictions, or just about anything that keeps you in your own personal darkness. These issues in life are life and as you choose to look at them as gifts rather than punishments, I promise you.. you will experience a major shift in your thinking. Ask yourself, 'what is it that I need to learn from this situation?' Sometimes I ask myself, 'Why is this person in my life? What are they here to teach me?' When I ponder over my answers to these questions, I find clarity and peace. Life can be difficult. I have experienced it. I still experience it at times; the difference now is I am spending more of my time in the light because of what I choose to focus my attention on.
I personally do a lot of writing on a daily basis. Now more that I am blogging everyday but in my own personal recovery, I do recovery reading and writing daily. This keeps my mind processing. Since I was very young, I started a journal. Up until I got married, I had written a total of 20 journals. Writing was a way for me to express myself since I lived in so much isolation from a young age. Once I got married and saw signs of abuse right away, I didn't dare write that in black and white for fear someone would find out. I wrote a total of about 10 entries in 7 years of marriage. That just tells you how much I isolated and kept things to myself. Although people close to me saw signs of it all, they never really knew the truth of what we were creating in our marriage. I say WE because it took both of us to create sickness. I literally was dying. I could feel it but couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get out of it. Part of me didn't want to get out of it because I feared too much being alone. It was better to be in an abusive marriage than to face being alone forever. I had looked at friends of mine who were gorgeous and they were struggling dating, I often would ask myself the question, "if they can't get married, there is no chance of me EVER getting married.' Obviously, I don't feel that way any longer.
There are all kinds of things in our lives that we know are unhealthy for us but we still do them because we fear change. I am here to tell you that as I started to stand for myself and understand and acknowledge my own personal worth that was when the strength came to surrender to God's will for me. It was very difficult at times AND God provided beautiful Angels to be there to walk hand in hand with me through the process. My story is unique to me and doesn't have to be your story but take time to acknowledge those people that God has placed in your life to help you. Be open to allowing them to be there for you. For many of you if you are anything like me, I REALLY struggled with allowing myself to receive. Just as recent as a couple of weeks ago when I got a pedicure, I was really up against it because I couldn't see that I was worth paying someone $30 to take care of my feet in the dead of winter. Funny thing is it wasn't even my own money I was having a hard time giving up. A friend of mine gave me the money to go and get them done.
I still am learning and growing. We learn and grow side by side with each other through this journey. I do believe that we are all here to help one another. You help me... I help you. Every day I ask God to place me in people's lives that I may inspire and serve them. It's what I live for. I look for opportunities to be in service and then I thank God when those opportunities come.
The number of people reading this blog has sky rocked almost overnight and I can't tell you how much that means to me. It is a miracle and just is one more indication that I am doing God's work. Please share this blog with others that may benefit from my writings. My soul purpose in life is the Inspire
Others and to bring a Message of Hope to those still struggling and you are showing me that I am on the path in accomplishing my purpose.
"JUST for TODAY"
and not tackle my whole life problem
at once. I can do something for twelve hours
that would appall me if I felt that I had to
keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to
be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that
"most folks are as happy as they make up
their minds to be."
I will study. I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer. I will read
something that requires effort, thought and
concentration.
and not try to adjust everything to my own
desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes,
and fit myself to it.
ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and
not get found out. I will do at least two
things I don't want to--just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are
hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not
show it
as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low,
act courteously, criticize not one bit, not
find fault with anything and not try to improve
or regulate anybody except myself.
follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will
save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
by myself, and relax. During this half hour,
sometime, I will try to get a better perspective
of my life.
will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,
and to believe that as I give to the world, so
the world will give to me.
While it's almost been 2 years I have been in a 12 step recovery program, I still remember when I first was taught this principle of "Just for Today."
After a day at the 12 Step conference in Las Vegas back in February 2009, I was pretty much freaking out. I kept thinking to myself, 'How in the world could I ever get off sugar and flour?'
Here were all these amazing people telling their stories about how they hadn't had sugar or flour for 4 years.. 8 years.. 12 years. How could that be? Here I was someone that couldn't imagine not eating sugar and flour. I had grown up with that being my comfort food. I know that this sounds funny but at the time I was binging on muffins. I would make a batch of muffins and hurry and eat them all before my former husband would take them from me. After trying to wrap this concept of NEVER AGAIN eating sugar and flour, I turned to my good friend and said.. "I can't EVER have a muffin again?" Her response with all the love in her heart said to me, "Just not Today." I felt a HUGE amount of weight fall from my shoulders which at the time seemed to be holding me down. I thought to myself.. 'I can do this just for today.' I felt a calming relief and since then that one day has turned into two and then three and so on. 128 lbs later and out of the food I realized I can only do this program one day at a time. If I sit here and think about doing this for a lifetime it is OVERWELMING and I want to give up now. There is power is keeping present in the moment. This one aspect of my recovery has got me through a lot of tough days.
Here were all these amazing people telling their stories about how they hadn't had sugar or flour for 4 years.. 8 years.. 12 years. How could that be? Here I was someone that couldn't imagine not eating sugar and flour. I had grown up with that being my comfort food. I know that this sounds funny but at the time I was binging on muffins. I would make a batch of muffins and hurry and eat them all before my former husband would take them from me. After trying to wrap this concept of NEVER AGAIN eating sugar and flour, I turned to my good friend and said.. "I can't EVER have a muffin again?" Her response with all the love in her heart said to me, "Just not Today." I felt a HUGE amount of weight fall from my shoulders which at the time seemed to be holding me down. I thought to myself.. 'I can do this just for today.' I felt a calming relief and since then that one day has turned into two and then three and so on. 128 lbs later and out of the food I realized I can only do this program one day at a time. If I sit here and think about doing this for a lifetime it is OVERWELMING and I want to give up now. There is power is keeping present in the moment. This one aspect of my recovery has got me through a lot of tough days.
Just 3 months prior to my attending this conference for food addiction, I had visited my homeopathic to find answers to why I hadn't been able to get pregnant for 6 years. Little did I know the visit took a different turn than I had expected. He informed me that I had a very bad case of candida. I remember thinking to myself, 'What the heck is candida?' He explained to me that candida fed off of sugar and suggested that I get off the sugar right away. Immediately I told him there was NO WAY I was giving up my sugar. I didn't realize it at the time that I was heavily addicted but looking back that sure sounds like someone addicted to it. I told him right then that I wasn't going off sugar so he would have to give me something else to get rid of it. He laughed at me and said what he had in mind wasn't pleasant but it would work. He printed out the recipe which included baking soda and maple syrup for me to make and then eat. He warned me that it was horrible tasting but I told him I would try it instead off giving up the sugar.
Boy did I get a rude awakening! I made the so called magic candy and even duct tape my nose so I wouldn't have to taste it but it was horrible. I called my homeopathic back and said, "Doc, what else can you give me because I can't stomach this stuff." He laughed and suggested maybe I should put it in pill form and take it that way. So sure enough I took the candy pieces and put them in my blender and then proceeded to fill up 25 capsules worth for one serving. I tell you this, because look at the lengths I was willing to go to to NOT have to give up sugar. The pill thing only worked for a day or two then I gave up on that and just dealt with the fact I had a horrible case of candida and left it at that.
It's interesting just months later how God works. After I started my 12 step recovery program, I ended up back in my homeopathic's office telling him the whole story. He just laughed at me and smiled. With as bad of a case my candida had gotten, I was close to getting cancer. Isn't that interesting that even with a threat of cancer I still wouldn't let go of the sugar. For me the sugar is all I ever knew. I had always dreamt of living a healthy life and looked up to "those" people that had the discipline to eat healthy but couldn't figure it out for myself until I got into recovery. Now it makes perfect sense. For me the sugar and the flour acted as a drug to my body. I couldn't just take some and stop at that as a so called "normal" person could. I had to have the whole bag or the entire bar and leave nothing sitting around.
Towards the end of my compulsive eating days, I would wait til my husband would go to sleep and run off to the store and buy whatever it was that I was in the mood to binge on and then come home, watch tv and eat the whole thing til I got cankers in my mouth which made it difficult to eat the next day. I don't know how conscious I was at the time but looking back there were soo many emotions I wanted to run away from and avoid and for me eating took them away. I didn't know at the time either that I had married a compulsive eater, so for 7 years we fed each other as well as fought over food constantly. Although I am divorced now he still mentions to me that I would buy him junk food to justify the junk food I would buy for myself. It is true. I had to justify what I was doing and make it so he wouldn't get on my case.
Towards the end of my compulsive eating days, I would wait til my husband would go to sleep and run off to the store and buy whatever it was that I was in the mood to binge on and then come home, watch tv and eat the whole thing til I got cankers in my mouth which made it difficult to eat the next day. I don't know how conscious I was at the time but looking back there were soo many emotions I wanted to run away from and avoid and for me eating took them away. I didn't know at the time either that I had married a compulsive eater, so for 7 years we fed each other as well as fought over food constantly. Although I am divorced now he still mentions to me that I would buy him junk food to justify the junk food I would buy for myself. It is true. I had to justify what I was doing and make it so he wouldn't get on my case.
So for me the way I live my life in all aspects is to keep present and live "Just for Today." Just for today I can be happy, grateful and take care of myself.
"Gratitude is the acceptance of things as they are." - Becky Sampson
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Decisions Determine our Destiny
How often in life do we think that we are just the products of whatever comes our way rather than taking an active role in creating the life that want? Most of us don't take the time to find out what we REALLY WANT. Most of us have no problem telling others what we DON'T WANT but as many in this world have figured out that just gives us more of what we don't want. Especially with it being the beginning of the year I have a challenge for you. This comes from a book called "How to think bigger than you have ever thought before" by Mark Victor Hansen.
Take a timer and set it to 20 minutes and then set the intention to make a list of 100 things you want in your life. Don't over analyze this or else you will run out of time. Think about what excites you and what is it that brings you lasting joy. Allow the ideas and thoughts to flow through you and onto the paper. Make sure to date it because you will come back to it at different times in life and it's important to see the progress you have made over the passing years.
I believe everything we choose to do determines where we are in life. If you want to be somewhere different than you are, then it's as simple as shifting the way you see things to create something different. "Change the way you look at things and the things that you look at CHANGE." It really does work.
Look at my life as an example. I went from 266 lbs and living with such emotional, spiritual and physical pain. I didn't lose 128 lbs overnight. It took small "ONE DAY AT A TIME" decisions I made to get the results I did. As I turned my life over to God, he helped me change the way I looked at myself and start seeing my own beauty and brilliance and hense I ended up with very different results. Now, I have a tremendous amount of peace and joy in my life. I thank my Higher Power which I call God that made this change of heart and soul happen.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The Beginning of a New Year.. a New Life! "1.1.11"
I am HUGE on setting goals and what I have learned this last year is to keep my goals large but remember that I can only take it one day at a time. As long as I commit "JUST FOR TODAY" to stay in action.. eventually I will get to where I want to be. It's important to have targets to shoot for... otherwise known as intentions. I have found that if I don't have something to shoot for, I tend to chase my own tail and end up spinning my wheels. Don't overwhelm yourself. I remember those years that I would throw out all kinds of new year's resolutions to only then end up paralyzing myself and not doing ANY of them. I know most of you can relate. Admit it, when we do that, we end up setting ourselves up to fail. I shared in our meeting this morning that this is the very first year I can EVER remember where I am not setting a new year's resolution to lose weight. It feels AMAZING. Yes, I am now at my goal weight and have been maintaining for 6 months now. I used to think being at goal weight would fix all my problems and what I have discovered is that it just gives me the opportunity to dig deeper into myself to set higher and more lofty goals. "Life is a journey NOT a destination."
My challenge to you this year is to take it easy. Choose one area of your life.. JUST ONE.. that you can work on. When you get that one mastered or feel like you have a handle on it, then add something else. Life is NOT a race. No one is telling you that you need to be PERFECT today... or EVER for that matter. This is about "PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION." Be patient with yourself. We too often expect so much out of ourselves we spend most of our time in shame which then keeps us majorly stuck and unable to move in a positive direction.
Something I am learning right now as I sponsor people in my program each day is to love them unconditionally regardless of where they are in their recovery. Those that I sponsor don't need anyone else to tell them how horrible they are. They unfortunately get enough of that negative thinking going on in their own heads... they just need to be loved and accepted. I am soo grateful for this opportunity where I am learning to love unconditionally from the deepest part of my soul and seeing what a difference it is making in their lives.
Love yourself. Take this year of 2011 to learn who you are and what your soul purpose is. I believe very strongly that we all have been given special gifts.. ACKNOWLEDGE THEM.. HONOR THEM.. and then live your highest self. When you choose to do that, you bless other people's lives. Things FLOW... when you are not living your highest self, you are frustrated and tired and feel run down. Just notice those areas in your life that you want to shift out of and other areas that you want to cultivate.
My one and only resolution I set for myself today is to blog every single day of 2011. I hope my thoughts and inspirations are of help to you and that what I share stirs something in you to action. Action is the ONLY way we make positive changes in life. "Be the change you want to see in the world." Change MUST start with you. You can do it! Take it slow and be patient with yourself and know that I send all the love and good energy your way and pray you have the willingness to accomplish those things you set your heart out to do.
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