"We are MASTER Co-CREATORS!"

What does it mean to be a creator? I have come to realize over the past couple of years just how incredibly powerful we are. We truly have the power to create Heaven or Hell in any given moment. What do I mean by that? Think about it, you wake up and from the first conscious thought you begin your day. Some may say.. "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed," and they let that determine the rest of their day. I say, no matter what we are feeling or thinking in any given moment we can shift it if we want. Take for instance, an emotion that sometimes is uncomfortable like fear. Sit and think deeply about something that is causing you a lot of fear. Notice how you feel. Notice the train of thoughts you are having. Now think of a bright, sunny, happy day and what it feels like to be outside with a cool breeze softly brushing through your hair from one side to the next. Notice how you feel now. Our minds are sooo powerful.

I remember when the day I began my journey of releasing 130 lbs. I turned to my friend of mine and said to her "Seriously.. no sugar .. no flour FOREVER?" I remember feeling the immense amount of weight on my shoulders of the thought of not only having to lose 130 lbs but doing it without sugar and flour.. two things that had been my friend for over 35 years. She turned to me, smiled and said "Just not today!" All of a sudden my reality shifted and I felt I could do it. I could do anything for 24 hours. Soon I realized that that 24 hours.. turned into another 24 hours.. and another.. and sure enough.. almost exactly 3 years later, I am where I am today. The other HUGE lesson I got from this experience is God, who is the master creator was going to help me and He did.

Because I made a small but significant decision, I, along with God of course, created some massively AMAZING results. I always include God in what I am able to create because as powerful as I am, I couldn't have done it without Him. What I had to realize and continue to realize is that together, God and I, are co-Master creators. Where I am weak, He is strong and He carries me through those difficult times.

I have to say though, there are times where I fall back into my stinky thinking that I can do it on my own. Until I have hit my head up against the wall enough times and fall to my knees and surrender, I realize I can't do it alone.

I started reading a book this morning called "Believing Christ." This book is sooo amazingly good at illustrating the fact that I was never meant to live this life alone and take on the battles of life by myself. There was one, Jesus Christ, that went before me, paid the price and knows and UNDERSTANDS first hand the struggles I face. All He asks of me is to turn to Him. Why is that so hard to do sometimes? I don't know. The only answer I have is I am human.. and mortal and I seem to have a mind that tends to forget and has to be reminded often. This is why it's so important for me to keep my mind active and always searching to learn more. This is why I pray often and read scriptures, to be reminded that God is the POWERFUL one, who sent His son to go before me to show me the way. I just have to remember to follow His example and do my best to live righteously to the best of my ability and then He makes up the rest.

You know the guy I was dating last year and I would have this conversation all the time. It seemed like every single thing he would plan for us to do was always turning out PERFECTLY. We would get to the exact right place at the exact right moment to watch a beautiful sunset. It seemed like everything we experienced was perfectly orchestrated. The (2) four leaf clovers just magically appeared out of nowhere, I would in that moment turn to him and ask, "How the heck did you create this? You are a MASTER CREATOR you know?" I think he loved it when I said that because I wanted him to realize just how powerful of a creator he was and how much I appreciated it... in turn that helped encourage his AMAZING ability to create even more incredible experiences.

"One of the hardest things to do... FORGIVE YOURSELF!"

Why do you think forgiving ourselves is so hard sometimes? Well, at least for me, I grew up thinking I needed to be perfect at everything I did or else I wasn't acceptable. I spent a lot of time comparing myself to others and I never seemed to measure up. I would always think "What's wrong with me that I can't seem to figure things out like everyone else. Everyone else is happy when I am literally dying inside." I couldn't figure it out til many years later when I realized that I wasn't born to be perfect. It wasn't even part of the plan. I was given weakness in order to learn and grow. Otherwise what would be the purpose of this mortal life? 

So once I realized I was placed here with weakness, I had to accept my imperfections as being PERFECT in and of themselves. Wow.. that was a challenge to let go of that reality. I had to start with not beating myself up. I had to start with allowing myself to make mistakes and to show patience as I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. I am really really good at making pages and pages of TO DO lists and setting myself up for overwhelm. Recently it's been a practice of mine to allow myself to think .."I do my very best and let go of the rest." I had to think that way or else I would find myself back in that place of self pity. 

So.. I make certain choices sometimes that stop me from progressing in life, SO WHAT. I say.. so what not because I give myself permission or justify my actions but rather allow myself to look at what I have done or not done as a learning opportunity and move on. Sometimes that requires me asking others for forgiveness, sometimes it's just a matter of recommitting to myself and moving on. I have always been someone that moves on pretty quickly once I have noticed my wrong doing. I don't care to stay in that negative place very long. Although I do have to say, there is a difference between shutting a door and moving on .. and taking the time to look at what happened, take responsibility for my actions and then asking for forgiveness and THEN moving on. 

I always like to say.. "I am IMPERFECTLY PERFECT!" Meaning I am perfect just the way I am. Forgiving myself has been a process of learning to LOVE myself and accept my imperfections. The quicker you forgive, the quicker you can move on to better things. I like what a good friend of mine says.. "Fail faster so you can success quicker!" Isn't that true? Don't allow yourself to beat yourself up. It doesn't do you any good. By the way, this also applies very much to relationships too. As I was talking to a good friend of mine last night, I realized how important it is to forgive quickly the other person for their imperfections. I don't believe we wake up in the morning with the intention to hurt ourselves or others, we just do sometimes. Take a good look at it.. take responsibility and then move on. 

Find the true Gift in "BE"ing Present!

You know I have thought often of what an AMAZING gift it is to learn to be present. I have to give credit to my dear former fiance who taught me how to be present. He taught me how to slow down and to just BE. He taught me to allow myself to shut out the world, the chatter in my mind and all the electronic devices and to be 100% with him in the moment. At first, it was difficult for me to shut all that out but after awhile I found the great value of truly allowing myself to give him and others my 100% attention. This was not an easy task for me. It took me practicing, falling on my face at times but after awhile it got easier. Every time I would find myself wanting to so call "Check out," I took a deep breath and allowed myself to get grounded.

I was reminded again today as I laid on the floor in my yoga class this morning staring at the ceiling in one specific place for a period of time, how awesome it feels to just be silent in my mind. What a gift, to be so present that there was a nothingness about the moment other than the thoughts and emotions I was observing. Back in the day, I would have been thinking about the laundry I had to do, how uncomfortable I was with my body, what were other people thinking of me or am I doing this right? Always thinking something was wrong with me or the moment and it should be a different way. To now just be in such a place of gratitude for whatever emotions, thoughts or feelings that come and not judging them is absolutely BEAUTIFUL.

So what I have learned is when I am present, I am not fearing the future nor trying to control the past. In the past couple of years I have seen a huge shift in my perception as it pertains to fear and control. When I find myself going into this place of either, I know I am living outside of the NOW... so I breathe and bring myself back to the NOW and know that all I have is the NOW .. the present moment.

So here are a few things I do as I find myself drifting whether I am with others.. or by myself. I take a couple of HUGE breathes. These are breathing from the core of my belly not from my chest or shoulders. It's amazing the amount of tension that is released just from doing this. I also meditate. It is not uncommon for me to just stop what I am doing, lay down on the floor of my office or in bed in the middle of the day and just sit. Wipe all the thoughts from my mind as if I were staring at a totally blank white board. At first, I felt uncomfortable with this as my mind was full of all kinds of different thoughts, but soon I learned to turn those off for a bit. Sometimes I want to think NOTHING.. and other times, I want to receive inspiration.

Short story, about a month ago, I was right in the middle of a HUGE creation spurt where I was really needing to get all the content that I have built up over the past couple of years out on paper. I was in the need of creating content for workshops, books, blogs, speaking gigs.. and etc. So I found myself laying on the floor of my office with the warm sun shining down on me through my office window and while listening to Shamanick music, asking the question in my mind.."God, please help me purge all these different concepts I have had racing in my head for the last couple of years!" It didn't take long to open that portal of information. Here I was laying there with a pen and paper next to me and WHAM... all the content came RUSHING in my mind almost too fast I couldn't write quick enough. So I would write and then go back to meditation and more would come and I would lean over and write some more and then repeat that several times. It was soo AMAZING to experience this. Next thing I knew I had 4 pages chalked full of content. It didn't stop there, I didn't go anywhere the next week without my binder with a couple of more empty pages to fill and as soon as another idea popped into my head, I wrote it down. 3 pages later, I was shocked to see so much AMAZING content that was hidden deep inside of me. It felt great to finally have it all in one place.

What I learned most from that experience is, it's important to take the time to be silent and to ask the right question and then most importantly.. LISTEN and take lots of notes. It's AMAZING what incredible knowledge and power we have within us when we take time to slow down and allow it to flow freely from us. From all that content I got written down that week, will come everything I need to finish my books, tv show ideas and concepts, radio themes, blog entries.. etc. What a gift! What a blessing I have been given when I learned how to be present and in the moment.

When it comes to relationships, my dear former fiance taught me how to truly BE present with him and what a gift that was for us to have had that type of connection. When you can look into each others eyes for an hour without speaking a word but communicate in such a way that there was no question in our minds about the gratitude we feel for each other.. it's INCREDIBLE. It's a spiritual connection, one more deeply than any words can convey. Just like with anything in life, I KNOW for a fact that everything happens for a reason and with each relationship and friendship we have, we are given nuggets of gold.. gifts from above. I am grateful for him and what he has taught me about me.

My Recent Challenge...with Weight Gain

I am sorry I haven't blogged in quite sometime. It seems as my life pushes forward, I am getting busier and busier which is good but I value very much my time to write and to express my deepest feelings about where I am in my life. I know that many of you feel similar feelings because I meet with you everyday. I hear your stories, I hear your struggles and I am no different.

This last few months has been a roller coaster of emotions for sure. As I always say, it's PERFECT because I am learning more about who I am and picking up new tools to aid me in living a healthy life and in order to help more people. 

Even though I have released 130 lbs, it doesn't mean that I have somehow arrived. In my own mind,  I think on some level, I felt that but life has shown me recently that working the basic simple principles are what sustain healthy living. As I sit here in bed, pondering about what to share with you, my mind wonders to how important the little things are and to be patient and loving with ourselves. 

In the last 4 months, I have gained 20 lbs which has been an interesting journey for me. I found myself back in the "I don't care" thinking. "Where did that come from? ...What triggered it?... and What am I suppose to learn from it?" These questions have been heavily on my mind. 

I felt in someway that obesity and the thoughts of it all where in the past and were going to stay there FOREVER. I didn't start to eat sugar or flour again because in my mind, those things are evil but I did start eating more of the food that I normally eat and justify eating "Sugar FREE" items and too much of that too. Soon the weight started to creep back on. Suddenly, my clothes became tight and I didn't feel so good inside. Everyday I would recommit to myself and others and sometimes for a day or two I would do well. As for now, I am feeling ok but there for awhile, I felt as though I couldn't control it. 

Just recently, friends of mine have introduced me to other tools to help aid me in dealing with these negative behaviors. I just started using "Tapping." In my mind, I thought that tapping was too simple but I am starting to realize that most things we strive for are EASY.. well, maybe not EASY but SIMPLE. In my mind, I thought, this is too simple and it kept me from using it. I am trying it out and in the last couple of days it has given me great relief. I know that my perfectionism was keeping me from doing it too because I wanted to do it perfectly and instead, I just decided to relinquish the fact it doesn't have to be perfect, I just have to do it. 

So there.. this is where I am right now and am headed back down the scale 15 lbs to where I want to be. The difference this time is I know my value isn't determined by the number that is on the scale and that I have the tools I need, if I choose to use them, to be where I want to be. Before I would have just given up and allowed myself to go back to the life I lived but now, what I do in helping others get healthy, keeps me on my toes. 

While I was in the process of releasing my weight and then maintaining it for a year in a half, I remember people asking me.. "did you every cheat?" for the most part, I just went for it and didn't look back and to many people I felt they couldn't relate to me because of that. Now, knowing I got back into the food and have struggled the last few months has been PERFECT because it's given me true empathy for those struggling. It's not that I can't remember what it was like back then.. but time has a way of really making it hard sometimes to remember what it felt like. I KNOW and am experiencing the pain that goes with not feeling like I can control my desire to eat. 

Thank God, today I am at peace about it and am choosing to make healthy choices. I will write more about this and feel free to share your feelings and thoughts. We are all in this together and it's important to get out of isolation. These struggles DON'T make you bad.. they just are what you get to experience in life and teach you to dig deep to get healthy. 

My Savior... My Friend!

This year has been one of great reflection and learning for me. I have always been a religious person but to be honest with you, I have NEVER in my life gone to the depth of spirituality that I have in this last year. As many of you may know I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and have been my whole life. I even was a full time missionary in 1995-1996 where I served in the Pocatello Mission. I have attended church weekly, even graduated from seminary. Even through all those years of being religious thinking it was complicated, I have come to realize just how incredibly SIMPLE God's love is for me.

I think I had this idea in my head that if I was perfect enough by checking off my "TO DO" list that I would be worthy of His love and acceptance. So I served my mission to the best of my ability and the very last day, when I found out my father had died in a car accident and I was being sent home the following day, I remember questioning if I had really done my best. Little did I know, I was an incredible missionary. Someone who served diligently with her heart and influenced many lives. At the time though if you asked me, I would tell you all the things I did wrong that made it not so. I couldn't accept that my imperfections were enough. I remember very clearly, the day I got released as a missionary and the man who released me said... "You were a great missionary." He didn't know I was questioning if I had done enough, he didn't even know me personally and let alone understand what it felt like to have just lost my father to a tragic accident. Again, I didn't accept that truth of me being enough just the way I was.

So this was a common theme throughout my life... am I enough? ... will I ever be enough? Is there more that I can "DO" to be acceptable in God's eyes? I have discovered for the first time in my life.... NO. I am already enough. I am already worthy of His love and acceptance just the way I am. There are things I choose to do on a daily basis that draw me closer to Him.. and further away from Him. God's Love, Mercy and Grace are exquisite. I now understand and continue to understand just how AMAZING this love is He has for me and for each one of you.

As for the Savior, since I have experienced a total transformation from the inside out, I have come to discover the incredible power of the atonement. I used to think the atonement was for people who had done horrible things, now I understand that the atonement is a GIFT for me to utilize each day to bring me closer to my Heavenly Father.

I was in church the other day and made a comment about how I have been reading a lot in the scriptures about Repentance. The scriptures counsel us OVER and OVER again.. "If they would only repent and keep the commandments.. then they shall have ALL that God has and more." So I have been on this journey to understand and ask what it is that I need to repent of so I may become more like the Savior and closer to God. Another comment from someone in the room was we needed to stop beating ourselves up. Although I agree 100% with that, I don't see repentance as a way to beat myself up, I see it as an incredible blessing and opportunity to draw closer to my Savior and to learn to accept His Sacrifice and service He rendered for ME.

My Savior.. My friend! I have learned and developed this amazing trust with my Savior. Our relationship is like any other relationship, I had to learn first who my Savior was then through many experiences, I learned to trust. As I trusted more my respect and love grew. My understanding of how he communicates with me expanded. This picture below is the picture I have up in my bedroom and I look at it each morning when I wake up. I spend time meditating to it. I see it as the Savior with His arms stretched forth towards me encouraging me to come to Him. It also reminds me that I need to be open to receiving. I struggle with that at times. As with many of you, we are so good at giving .. giving.. and giving more to others but when it comes to having to receive, it's hard. I have been on the receiving side many times this year and I am grateful for those in my life that have carried me and lifted my own soul as I have struggled. Isn't that what this life is all about anyway. The Savior has lifted me... I lift others.. others lift me. It's all one eternal circle of service.

So during this time of the year, I can't help but give thanks to the very one who gave me life, God. He also provided me with the most incredible gift my brother, my Savior, my friend who is teaching me by His example who I must become. I am grateful for this journey I have been on and for the knowledge I have now.

I KNOW that my Savior died for me and most importantly, lives today so that I may be forgiven for those choices I make that draw me further away from God. I know that God lives and knows me intimately.. my heart .. my soul.. my desires. He loves me and guides me each and every single day. I know when I am inspired to make a call, connect with a certain person or to serve that all that comes from Him. I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ is REAL. I know that because I have experienced the mighty change of heart in my own life and continue to feel it's power as I learn to turn my life over to Him. I know there is a living Prophet Thomas S. Monson that stands as the mouth piece for the Lord. I am grateful for His guidance and counsel He gives me. I know that the scriptures were written for OUR day and to help me understand how God works and His love for me. I live in such an incredible time where I have been given soo much.

I pray that each one of you finds peace in your heart.. and healing. I will say, even though my life is not perfect and there are days I still struggle, I feel because I have learned better to rely on the Lord it makes those challenging times easier. I pray for the same to be for you as well. God bless and always remember that you are important, you have a purpose here on earth and that you are LOVED.

Year End Review of 2011 - List of things I have learned......

This year has been one of the most growing years of my life for many more reasons than some may think. I haven't written in awhile and partly that is because I have been so busy in helping people with Sponsor Me Slim and been involved in my own personal relationships. I felt as though I have grown SOOO much by all the amazing experiences I have had that I can't help but be in such gratitude. Even the really tough times, I knew things would work out just the way they were suppose to. 

Here are a few things I have learned from this past year. 

... I have learned I don't need a lot to survive

... I have learned that I create my peace and balance wherever I am 

... I have learned that it's important to have good friends and acknowledge the good in them often

... I have learned to lean solely on God for my strength and trust in His almighty wisdom

... I have learned how to better listen to the counsel of the Lord

... I have learned how important it is to put the Lord First before anything else

... I have learned that even though I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel... to keep walking with Faith. 

... I have learned that I come from one of the most amazing families.. I am blessed to have them in my life.

... I have learned to appreciate the small and simple things in life

... I have learned that my story doesn't define me

... I have learned to serve others with No attachments. 

... I have learned to love unconditionally not being attached to the result of the relationship

... I have learned that I am beautiful and have great value

... I have learned to BE PRESENT in the moment

... I have learned to let go and TRUST God with all my Heart 

... I have learned just how incredibly Tenacious I am

... I have learned that I am experiencing life exactly as I am suppose to do.. Challenges and all

... I have learned in order to inspire I had to create value in other's lives

... I have learned that being healthy is RARE. 

... I have learned to see the GREAT in all people and acknowledge it to them

... I have learned how sensitive Men are

... I have learned what's most important to me

... I have learned how to follow my heart and speak my truth

... I have learned to appreciate and embrace the teachings in the scriptures

... I have learned to ACT NOW when opportunities present itself

... I have learned how fragile life is and to tell people I love them because I never know when they will be gone

... I have learned how incredibly blessed I am

... I have learned to appreciate every aspect of myself

... I have learned to be confident

... I have learned I create massive value in all my relationships

... I have learned to love more deeply

... I have learned to heal and utilize the atonement more

... I have learned to have NO JUDGEMENT towards others who think differently than I

... I have learned to be grateful when I am in the Flow and to take advantage of that time

... I have learned to accept what is

... I have learned how to forgive.... wow this one was a big one. Starting with me.. then forgiving others

... I have learned to trust more

... I have learned to take more time in making big decisions

... I have learned to not rush into things

... I have learned that things are just things

... I have learned to look for miracles on a daily basis

... I have learned to ask for help

... I have learned to receive love and affection

... I have learned to be honored for who I am and my beauty and intelligence I have to bring to the world

... I have learned to be open to others opinions

... I have learned to create safe spaces for others to share

... I have learned to better communicate

... I have learned that God knows me intimately and wants me to feel JOY & PEACE

... I have learned how important the temple is to my spiritual growth

... I have learned how important it is to be teachable 

... I have learned how to help others heal and the gift I have been given to do so

... I have learned that I am very intuitive

These are just a few things I have learned over this past year. Although it has flown by and we are just about to go into a brand new year, I have to say, I am humbled by the many blessings I have in my life at this time. Some may say, "I don't know how you did it!" I say to that.. I don't either.. but with the Help of my Savior Jesus Christ and my belief in God as my partner, I made it. I know for a fact that God has held me in His hand many many many times.. and even carried me on His back when I wanted to give up. He sent people into my life to help me through challenging times and lifted my spirits when they were down but through it all, my testimony grew, my knowledge in His existence is STRONG. 

It's interesting to me how similar the journey has been of releasing the 130 lbs.. is to building a career. It's the same exact process.. putting the same exact habits in place. It's all about staying focused on the goal.. focused on staying present.. one day at time.. and not allowing myself to get discouraged. 

God never said it would be easy but that it would be worth it and that is soo true. As I kneel in prayer each day and plead with the Lord to be my partner for the day, I am overcome with the spirit as I watch how he leads me to different places and to connect with different people. As an example, today I knelt beside my bed asking the Lord to be with me and to show me miracles and boy did he provide. It was one after another as I kept a log of them in my notebook. Every time I recognized another miracle I would let that person know that they were part of me experiencing a miracle. who says.. miracles don't happen anymore? I experienced about 7 of them today and I know EXACTLY where they came from. I have said this many times, but God desires to be acknowledged too. 

I hope that at the end of this year, you take time to make your own list of things that you have learned. Also take the time to give yourself a pat on the back for all the wonderful things you are accomplished. I will be starting up my blog here a lot more now and in the new year. Feel free to share it with whomever you would like. 

God Bless.. and remember how incredibly valuable you are to this world. 

"Sponsor Me Slim" Helping people Lose weight... saving lives!

It's been awhile since I blogged.. my life has just taken off. A lot of different thoughts I have had lately as I have begun this journey with a program called "Sponsor Me Slim." I had been looking for the last year for some way that I could help the most amount of people when it came to their weight. As many of you know I have released 130 lbs and in the process of doing that, my entire life has changed. I don't think there is much of my old life yet. Although I feel AMAZING, I have often felt in my heart this longing to help others reach this level of success and after trying several different avenues, I feel I finally found the right vehicle in order to see REAL success.

See, it's not a matter of just going on some diet to lose weight, it's about having success in releasing the weight and then literally changing the thoughts and behaviors so you NEVER go back. I have been maintaining my weight loss for over a year. In order to have lasting success you have to make changes but my message to the world is it doesn't have to be HARD to make the changes .. it really just comes down to making a decision.

Over the last couple of months, I have had the privilege to interview a lot of different people and to hear their own life stories of their struggles with weight. My heart goes out to them because I understand EXACTLY the frustrations they are facing and at the same time I know I have a solution if they want to take hold of it and do it. See weight loss and transformation doesn't happen overnight... it takes putting one foot in front of the other taking it one day at a time. We can allow any number of excuses to creep into our thoughts convincing us that it's too hard, I can't do it, I will never be successful. The truth of the matter is, what you think about .. comes about. I say .."IF YOU SAY SO!" It is soo true.

There are several ways to lose weight, all I know is if you don't give your body the nutrients it needs, you will always be craving and then end up in the unhealthy food which will then trigger eating more unhealthy food. It's a crazy cycle. No wonder a lot of people fail. For me, I had to get RID of the unhealthy food and give my body what it desperately wanted and needed, then it started to function the way it was suppose to be and I was satisfied. That's the idea behind "Sponsor Me Slim." We give you the nutrients that you need so you don't have the cravings, your body is satisfied so you can get on with your life and stop thinking about food all the time.

In a nutshell, "Sponsor Me Slim" is a program that helps people lose weight quickly and very healthy and while doing so we raise money to help feed children that would otherwise die of starvation. It's a WIN WIN. It's balancing out the scales of injustice.

I can't tell you the joy it brings to me to see just about every night, testimony after testimony of these amazing people and how their lives are changing. This is about transformation and truly it's a blessing to be apart of their journey. I can literally SEE the changes not only physically but most importantly the changes in their countenance. I love what I do. I love knowing that we are literally saving lives on both sides of the scales.

If you are interested in getting more information on Sponsor Me Slim, visit my website at www.CreatingHealthyLiving.com and click on the "Sponsor Me Slim" tab. There are videos for you to watch, testimonies and then you can fill out the form and I will personally call you to set up an interview to see if it's the right fit for you.

Mark my words that this program will literally change this country's problem with obesity as well as save millions of children's lives as well. I am proud to be apart of such a huge movement.