Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Jumping back on the Horse

Sometimes in life we get bucked off our course that we think is taking us in a certain direction. I believe it's all part of the process. In realizing the pain of getting bucked off I often don't want to jump back on but know it's a necessary part of life.

When I was a young girl, I don't know if there was ever a time when I didn't get bucked off when I got on a horse. I think they just knew how terrified I was of them and figured they could get away with that. I didn't know how to stand for myself and be the boss. Maybe that is what my father was trying to teach me with this lesson is how to be confident in who I am.

This weekend I got bucked off. I felt the pain and then surrendered to what is and picked myself back up brushed myself off and jumped back into the saddle. Just because I got back in the saddle doesn't mean the pain of the experience went away it just shows I am "Willing" to continue.

I have found that willingness is the key to just about everything. God can't lead those who are unwilling. When I finally learned to turn my "Will" to God.. He finally stepped in and assisted me through some very tough things.

Today marks a very important step for me in my recovery and God was with me the whole time. He allowed me to be carried at times by my beautiful angels. Just when I think God isn't watching he keeps throwing in mini miracles....really they are huge miracles because I see what life would have been had it gone a different way.

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